1 Assault with a Deadly Glue Gun

1 Assault with a Deadly Glue Gun by Lois Winston Page B

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Authors: Lois Winston
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shears, cut a 4 x 5-inch
piece of satin for each rose. With right sides together, machine baste 4-inch sides of satin together with 1/4-inch seam
allowance. Turn right side out. Hand gather lower edge of
tube, wrapping thread ends tightly around gathers to form
the base of rose. Insert stem wire through bottom, bending
the end inside the rose into a loop to keep it from slipping
out. Wrap the base and stem of the rose with floral tape,
adding leaves as you wrap. Fill each rose with a teaspoon of
birdseed. Tuck in the top edge of satin about 11/2 inches to
keep the birdseed contained. A flick of the wrist will release
the birdseed to shower the bride and groom.

    I was just finishing up the first pair of tennies when I heard
Mama clomping up the outside stairs.
    "You never told me why you came home so early," she said as
she opened the door and entered.
    "Long story." I grabbed two matching lace appliques and positioned them over the toes of the second pair of tennies, adjusting
the angle first in one direction, then the other. "I had a lot of work
to do and decided I'd be more productive at home. Less interruptions. Of course, I had no idea I'd walk into Chaos Central."
    "Well, I'm glad you're home early." She shrugged out of her
coat and tossed it on a chair.
    Her cheeks glowed from the cold; her eyes twinkled with excitement. "I had the most marvelous inspiration this morning as I
showered. You know how I always get my best ideas in the shower,
don't you?"
    "Hmm?" I glanced up to find her waving a handful of colorful,
glossy brochures in the air between us. I stifled a groan but
couldn't manage to hide my frown. Mama's ideas never came
cheap.
    "Don't pout, Anastasia. Trust me. You're going to love this."
    "Love what?"
    "A cruise. Just the two of us. A week basking in the Caribbean.
Mother and daughter healing time."
    I stopped work on the second pair of tennies. "Sounds lovely,
Mama, but I can't afford it."
    "Nonsense. Cruises are quite affordable."
    "Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches are no longer affordable."
    "What are you talking about? Surely Karl left you with plenty."

    It was time to spring the bad news on her. "Karl left me with
plenty, all right. Plenty of debt."
    Her brows pinched together. "I don't understand."
    No way would Mama be satisfied with the Reader's Digest condensed version. She'd insist on the entire epic, warts and all.
    I sighed. "Sit down, Mama."

     

LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, MAMA loved Karl. At least, she had up until
a moment ago. Mama always admired the way Karl had broken
free of Lucille's communist stranglehold and created the American
dream for his wife and kids. Only her version of that dreamalong with mine-hadn't involved an affair gone bad with Lady
Not-So-Lucky.
    She reacted to the news in much the same way as Lucille had,
except instead of blaming me, she turned her wrath on my
mother-in-law. "This is all her fault."
    "That's pretty convoluted reasoning. I don't think you can
blame Lucille for her son's gambling addiction."
    "She raised him, didn't she?"
    "If you can call it that." Lucille had ignored Karl from the time
he was old enough to fend for himself. Her political agenda came
first, last, and always before her son.
    "Precisely my point. And what kind of mother names her son
after Karl Marx, for God's sake?" Her voice rose three octaves. "Karl Marx Pollack. To saddle a child with a name like that! Nothing short of child abuse, as far as I'm concerned. Between that and
all her other shenanigans-"

    "Shenanigans?"
    "Of course" She flailed her arms in true drama queen style as
her voice climbed another octave. Never let it be said that Mama
didn't love her soapbox. "If she'd spent more time with her son
and less time trying to overthrow our government-"
    "Let's not go there. It won't change the past, and it certainly
won't erase the debt hanging over my head"
    Worry swept away the defiance in her posture and settled over
her face. "How bad is

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