A Guide to the Other Side by Robert Imfeld Page A

it was infinitely more challenging because the water was probably forty degrees. It had to come from the water, though, because of some dumb rule about purity. All I know is that by the time we had found the perfect one, I could no longer feel my hand.
    â€œWelcome to our world,” Kristina said as the colonel nodded. “We don’t feel a thing.”
    I rolled my eyes. Of course I wouldn’t get any sympathy from the dead people.
    Back home I found the jack-o’-lantern carving knives, which hadn’t seen the inside of a pumpkin in a long time, and headed up to my room. Under the guidance of the colonel I sawed off the long, scraggly end of the branch, leaving me with a hunk of wood that resembled a thick hockey puck. Then I began whittling away at the wood bit by bit to create a deep enough space. I slowly carved for hours while I listened to the ghosts chat casually like they were old friends. Well, they probably were old friends, but it was still weird to hear Kristina chatting with someone who wasn’t me.
    â€œIt felt quite strange, greeting my mother once she crossed over,” the colonel said to Kristina as he leaned against the wall. “So I can only imagine how utterly unreal it will feel to you when you must do the same for yours.”
    â€œYour mom at least knew what you looked like,” Kristina said. “Mine doesn’t even know what color my hair is.”
    â€œShe does too,” I said. “I’ve told her a million times.”
    â€œYeah, but she doesn’t really know,” Kristina said. “You didn’t do that good of a job describing it.”
    â€œI repeated to her exactly what you told me to say!”
    â€œYeah, and it still wasn’t very good.”
    â€œThat side seems ready, lad,” Colonel Fleetwood said, looking over my shoulder. “One more side to go and you’ll have a good space there.”
    I nodded. “Got it.”
    He turned back to Kristina and said, “Did you hear from Lincoln what Selene said about the moon tonight? She was apparently in a bad mood and wanted to cover the sky with clouds, but he put a stop to that for us.”
    â€œAs he should have,” she said. “Everyone’s too riled up for her to go doing something like that.”
    â€œHopefully, it’ll all be sorted out soon. This talisman should do the trick, and then I’ll be able to be on my way.”
    â€œYou’re staying?” I asked, whipping my head around.
    â€œOf course he is,” Kristina said. “I told you I was bringing reinforcements.”
    â€œOh. I didn’t realize you meant him .” I jerked my head toward the colonel. “I thought you meant someone like, I don’t know, Jesus or Vishnu or someone like that.”
    Kristina and Fleetwood looked at each other for a loaded second before throwing their heads back in laughter.
    â€œWhat! Why is that so funny?”
    â€œI can’t . . . I can’t . . . s-speak!” Kristina sputtered.
    After a few minutes she finally regained her composure, while I sat there, jaw clenched, whittling away like Mister Geppetto.
    â€œSorry, Baylor, I don’t mean to laugh so hard,” she said. “It’s just that, well, this issue isn’t really that serious. To put it in a way you might understand, it would be like dropping a nuclear bomb to kill a spider, rather than just using a rolled-up newspaper.”
    â€œHe kills spiders?” the colonel asked, suddenly perturbed.
    â€œI tell him not to,” Kristina said, her voice going high. “He doesn’t listen.”
    â€œLad, you shouldn’t do that!” he said. “Bad karma.”
    â€œWeren’t you a soldier, Fleetwood?” I asked, totally aware of how annoyed I sounded. “Didn’t you kill people when you were alive? How is killing a spider worse than that?”
    â€œI was duty-bound to serve in a war,” he said, nodding.