A Mother's Secret by Janice Kay Johnson Page B

then?”
    “And then Dad filed suit claiming she was an unfit mother. She accused him of abuse. Lea and I had a guardian ad litem . Judges took us back to chambers to ask what happened when Daddy got mad at us, or whether Mommy went out sometimes at night and left us alone.”
    “What did happen when Daddy got mad?” Daniel’s voice was quiet, lethal. “ Did Mommy leave you alone at night?”
    “Nothing happened. No, she didn’t. It was all…all made up. They were both okay parents, when they remembered they loved us.”
    “And when they didn’t?”
    “Then…” Her shoulders rose and fell, as she remembered desolation as arid and jagged as a field of long-cooled lava. “Then we were weapons, or maybe the battlefield, I’m not sure. Neither of them ever stopped to think, Rebecca is doing great in school this year. Maybe this isn’t the time to reclaim custody. Or, Lea is starving herself to death. Am I part of the problem?”
    “Your sister’s anorexic?”
    Rebecca nodded. “She’s okay now, but it’ll be a lifelong battle. She’s stayed close to Dad and won’t even return Mom’s phone calls. I’m not sure why. Maybe she senses that he wanted her and Mom didn’t.”
    “Or maybe he told her.”
    Stricken, Rebecca stared at Daniel. “Oh, God. He would tell her that her own mother didn’t want her. She never said, but I’ll bet he did.” Thinking back, she calculated. “She started dieting right after some judge returned custody to Mom. Lea was maybe fourteen. She didn’t want to go. Well, neither did I. I was a senior in high school that year. I got to graduate from a new one with a class of strangers. So I suppose…”
    Now she read pity in his eyes, although whether it was for her or for her sister, Rebecca didn’t know. Very quietly, he said what she was thinking. “She was controlling what she could.”
    “I can’t believe I didn’t realize! Oh, it was obvious that getting yanked around one too many times was the trigger. But at least I knew Mom did want me.” She made a sound in her throat. “But if Lea thought Mom didn’t really love her, that she was just trying to hurt Dad…” Her teeth ground together. “I’ll kill him!”
    “The thought hasn’t occurred to you before?”
    “I try very hard not to think about my parents at all.”
    “Eat,” Daniel ordered her.
    She looked down numbly. Her food was getting cold. She took a bite, discovered how good the pasta was, and took another bite. Seemingly satisfied, Daniel ate, too.
    Until he stopped with his fork halfway to his mouth. “Does Malcolm see much of them?”
    She shook her head. “They know I have a son. I don’t see either of them.”
    “I’m glad to hear that.” He took the bite, swallowed, and asked, “Lea?”
    She was able to smile. “Yeah, Aunt Lea is almost as popular as Aunt Nomi. And she has better taste in clothing.”
    His mouth twitched. “No flowered pants?”
    “Definitely not. Flowers aren’t slimming.”
    “Why didn’t I see much of her? No, wait. She was abroad most of that year, wasn’t she? Tokyo.”
    “Right. She works for Thurman International.”
    “I do remember that she doesn’t look much like you. Model thin…” He stopped, grimaced. “Is she really a blonde?”
    “More or less. She stayed blond through college. I suspect she helps it along these days.”
    “There was something…” His brows drew together. “Fey about her.”
    Fey . What an odd word for him to have chosen, and yet…accurate. She’d sometimes thought her sister lacked substance. There’d be moments when Rebecca would glance up and swear she could see right through Lea. As though there was a visible Lea, the one she had made ofherself through the agonizing years of recovery, and then there was the ghostlike one inside, the child and woman who had tried to fade into nothingness.
    Suddenly Daniel scowled. “I was just wondering how we’d gotten sidetracked onto the subject of your sister, but you meant