displayed for her to read. "Mars! That's a four year assignment."
"I know. Believe me, I know."
"He pulled some strings. He got your orders changed, sent you off to Siberia. No. Siberia would've been a lot closer and warmer. He found a worse place. I guess he couldn't swing getting you sent to Persephone or he'd have probably done that." Jen made a choking motion with her hands. "I'm going to—"
"Why?"
"Why?" She glared at him. "Because he—"
"No, no. I understand why you're ticked off at your father, but what's the point of sending me to Mars? Does he think we won't get married now?"
"I doubt it. Of course, he might've had help from others who had other reasons to go after you. There's at least one admiral who owes you a payback for your helping to get his son kicked out of the Navy."
"Silver deserved it! He caused the death of one of his own sailors!"
"I know that. Don't yell at me. And then there's the people who weren't happy with you for getting me off and proving that someone in the office of the Deputy Assistant Undersecretary of Defense for Acquisition and Development," she recited the full title with angry emphasis, "had covered up problems with equipment being fielded to the fleet. You've got plenty of people who'd be happy to see you rewarded with a trip to Mars." Jen sat down and closed her eyes, obviously trying to calm herself. "But I'm sure my father's involved somehow. Maybe he figures if we're separated that long we'll divorce or something. Mars is notorious for breaking up marriages. Lots of people far from home for a long time." Jen opened her eyes and fixed them on Paul. "And I admit it. I'd worry about that."
Paul snorted a brief laugh. "I doubt there's any woman on Mars the equal of you. No, that's wrong. None of them could be your equal and I know there's no one better than you."
"Yeah. Sure. After, say, two years apart you wouldn't be eyeing some babe with a halfway decent body who likes to smile at you?"
"No."
"I hate it when you're so positive about something without thinking about it! You're human. You're going to be tempted being alone out there that long."
"So?" Paul gave a dismissive wave of his hand. "Being tempted isn't the same as doing anything. Hell, Jen, you'll be here without me. I'm not worried."
"Oh? You don't think any other guys would be interested in me?"
"No! Yes! Dammit, Jen. I trust you. I'll always trust you. And I won't betray your trust."
"Maybe we should rethink the marriage. To make sure you're not committed just in case—"
"No! Aren't you listening to me?"
"I'm thinking. That's all."
Paul lowered his head, looking down at the floor. I'm in this mess because of everything I've done. Getting involved in things I should've let slide. If I'd just kept my mouth shut and gone along I'd being going to whatever job I wanted now. Wouldn't I? Nobody gunning for me, nobody wondering what the hell I'm going to do next. He looked up again, his eyes coming to rest on Jen. But I know pretty much for certain that Jen fell for me because I did do things I didn't have to do. Because I didn't go along and keep my mouth shut. Maybe I'd have the duty of my dreams . . . without her. Would I want that?
Can't I even avoid second-guessing my own second-guessing?
"What are you thinking?" Jen asked.
"That I'm an idiot."
"Hey, I get to call you an idiot because I love you. Nobody else gets to call you that."
"Even me?"
"Even you."
"What are we going to do, Jen?"
"Have you talked to anybody about getting the order mod rescinded?"
"Yeah. The detailer—"
"Who lied?"
"Like a big dog. Yeah. 'Needs of the Navy,' my ass."
"Maybe your captain . . ."
Paul nodded. "Yes. I asked Captain Hayes. No promises, but he's going to see what he can do. And, uh . . ." He hesitated.
"And?"
"Herdez. I asked her."
Jen rolled her eyes. "I bet she told you it was a great career move."
"No. I haven't heard back from her, yet."
"Hmmm." Jen lounged backward and rubbed her eyes. "Talk
"I know. Believe me, I know."
"He pulled some strings. He got your orders changed, sent you off to Siberia. No. Siberia would've been a lot closer and warmer. He found a worse place. I guess he couldn't swing getting you sent to Persephone or he'd have probably done that." Jen made a choking motion with her hands. "I'm going to—"
"Why?"
"Why?" She glared at him. "Because he—"
"No, no. I understand why you're ticked off at your father, but what's the point of sending me to Mars? Does he think we won't get married now?"
"I doubt it. Of course, he might've had help from others who had other reasons to go after you. There's at least one admiral who owes you a payback for your helping to get his son kicked out of the Navy."
"Silver deserved it! He caused the death of one of his own sailors!"
"I know that. Don't yell at me. And then there's the people who weren't happy with you for getting me off and proving that someone in the office of the Deputy Assistant Undersecretary of Defense for Acquisition and Development," she recited the full title with angry emphasis, "had covered up problems with equipment being fielded to the fleet. You've got plenty of people who'd be happy to see you rewarded with a trip to Mars." Jen sat down and closed her eyes, obviously trying to calm herself. "But I'm sure my father's involved somehow. Maybe he figures if we're separated that long we'll divorce or something. Mars is notorious for breaking up marriages. Lots of people far from home for a long time." Jen opened her eyes and fixed them on Paul. "And I admit it. I'd worry about that."
Paul snorted a brief laugh. "I doubt there's any woman on Mars the equal of you. No, that's wrong. None of them could be your equal and I know there's no one better than you."
"Yeah. Sure. After, say, two years apart you wouldn't be eyeing some babe with a halfway decent body who likes to smile at you?"
"No."
"I hate it when you're so positive about something without thinking about it! You're human. You're going to be tempted being alone out there that long."
"So?" Paul gave a dismissive wave of his hand. "Being tempted isn't the same as doing anything. Hell, Jen, you'll be here without me. I'm not worried."
"Oh? You don't think any other guys would be interested in me?"
"No! Yes! Dammit, Jen. I trust you. I'll always trust you. And I won't betray your trust."
"Maybe we should rethink the marriage. To make sure you're not committed just in case—"
"No! Aren't you listening to me?"
"I'm thinking. That's all."
Paul lowered his head, looking down at the floor. I'm in this mess because of everything I've done. Getting involved in things I should've let slide. If I'd just kept my mouth shut and gone along I'd being going to whatever job I wanted now. Wouldn't I? Nobody gunning for me, nobody wondering what the hell I'm going to do next. He looked up again, his eyes coming to rest on Jen. But I know pretty much for certain that Jen fell for me because I did do things I didn't have to do. Because I didn't go along and keep my mouth shut. Maybe I'd have the duty of my dreams . . . without her. Would I want that?
Can't I even avoid second-guessing my own second-guessing?
"What are you thinking?" Jen asked.
"That I'm an idiot."
"Hey, I get to call you an idiot because I love you. Nobody else gets to call you that."
"Even me?"
"Even you."
"What are we going to do, Jen?"
"Have you talked to anybody about getting the order mod rescinded?"
"Yeah. The detailer—"
"Who lied?"
"Like a big dog. Yeah. 'Needs of the Navy,' my ass."
"Maybe your captain . . ."
Paul nodded. "Yes. I asked Captain Hayes. No promises, but he's going to see what he can do. And, uh . . ." He hesitated.
"And?"
"Herdez. I asked her."
Jen rolled her eyes. "I bet she told you it was a great career move."
"No. I haven't heard back from her, yet."
"Hmmm." Jen lounged backward and rubbed her eyes. "Talk
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