All the Presidents' Pets by Mo Rocca Page A

creation of parties. But the minute he was out and back at Mount Vernon, battle lines were drawn. That’s not to say there weren’t some calmer voices of reason.”
    With that Helen opened up her file and handed me a scrolled-up sheet of parchment. I unfurled it. The title of the document—it appeared to be a transcript of some kind of discussion—written out in calligraphy, read “A crossfire of opinions concerning the Alien and Sedition Acts.”
    I only had a workingman’s knowledge of the Alien and Sedition Acts, which were the most serious restrictions on freedom of expression ever passed by Congress. Hotly debated in the press, the most infamous of the four articles, the Sedition Act, included a $2,000 fine and imprisonment for “writing, printing, uttering or publishing any false, scandalous and malicious writing” against the President or Congress. Passed by a Federalist-controlled Congress purportedly in response to the hostile behavior of the French Revolutionary government, the acts inflamed allies of Thomas Jefferson and precipitated the creation of the party system in American politics, setting the stage for the electoral revolution of 1800.
    At least that was my vague recollection.
    The scroll was dated 1798, the second year of John Adams’s administration. The names Toddy the bulldog and Buzzy the Briard sheepdog were included below the title.
    â€œToddy the bulldog belonged to John Adams,” I said, a little uneasy. “And Buzzy was the dog that Jefferson brought back from Paris.”
    â€œSo tell me something I don’t know,” Helen said flatly. I read on.

    October 1, 1798
    Tonight!
    A CROSSFIRE
    of opinions concerning
    The Alien and Sedition Acts
    To be debated this even in Rittenhouse Town Square
    On the Federalist side, Toddy the Bulldog.
    On the Jeffersonian Republican side, Buzzy the Briard Sheepdog.
    Wassail to be served.

    TOWN CRIER: Come one, come all to witness the Crossfire!
    TODDY: Good evening and welcome to our crossfire, an opportunity to exchange ideas in the hopes of edifying ourselves and the public, all in the service of better governance. On the Federalist side I’m Toddy the bulldog.
    BUZZY: And on the Jeffersonian Republican side, I’m Buzzy the sheepdog. The Federalist-controlled Congress has just passed four articles known as the Alien and Sedition Acts. Are the acts an unnecessary curb on free speech?
    TODDY: Or are they simply meant to protect this young fragile nation against foreign hostilities and the anarchy of the recent French Revolution? Joining us to explore these questions are, on my worthy opponent’s side, bestselling author of the Constitution, Mr. James Madison.
    BUZZY: And on my respected colleague’s side, architect of our financial system and former aide-de-camp to Washington, Mr. Alexander Hamilton.
    TODDY: Mr. Madison, let’s start with you. Can you see any merit in the argument that the national government may need some protection from potentially subversive elements?
    MADISON: Look, Toddy, let’s cut to the chase here. Your retro-royalist plot to strip Americans of their newly enshrined individual rights and bigfoot the rest of us with your overbearing London-loving central government is totally transparent. So the only thing I have to say to you is, Shame on you, Toddy the English bulldog, shame on you.
    TODDY: Actually I’m an
American
Bulldog but I—
    ALEXANDER HAMILTON: Can I get a word in edgewise? Let me explain something to our wine-swilling Limoges-lusting France-First friends across the aisle. While you stroll around the plantation, philosophizing about America as some weirdo agrarian utopia, the rest of us are busy building an industrial base and protecting ourselves from enemies. So I guess my question for Buzzy and Mr. Madison is, why do you hate America so much?
    BUZZY: Mr. Hamilton, I don’t hate—
    MADISON: Get yourself some new talking points,