previous life behind too when I moved to Mexico. That’s what happens when life changes, you move on. ConsideringJake’s appearance, I would think you could understand the desire to do that.”
“I understand it. I’m only saying it won’t happen and neither will anything with Jake. That chapter is closed. But this thing with your son will haunt you until you come clean.”
“I’ll take my chances,” I tell her as I stab at my eggs with my fork. “Why do you suddenly care about my sordid past?”
“I didn’t, until I met Ron Jr. It just seems wrong to lie to him. Doesn’t that get to you?”
“He’s my son. What do you think?”
She shrugs as she shoves more food into her mouth and talks around the pancakes. “My mother lied to me. I guess the whole scenario hits too close to home.”
“Moms do strange things for their children, and it may not make sense to you at the time, but later…when you’re grown and gone.”
“It still makes no sense to me.”
I find myself getting tired of being questioned. “You got what you married for. What do you care what happens to the rest of the money? You didn’t love him, and it’s not a bad take for ten years of labor, is it?”
This isn’t like me, and I hate the barrage of words coming out of my mouth. “I’m sorry, Lindsay.”
She throws her water bottle back like a tequila shot and wags her finger at me. “No, that’s all right, but for the record, I never said that.”
“Said what?”
“I said I didn’t marry for love. That doesn’t mean I didn’t come to love and appreciate whom I did marry. Ron and I had a great relationship in the end. Give me a little credit. I made the best of my situation. Some people who marry for love can’t even say that.”
“Who was Jake, then? Maybe you’ll feel better spilling your secrets. Maybe it’s not me you’re concerned about at all. You don’t expect me to believe you forsook Jake for Ron and stayed true.” I laugh, but Lindsay doesn’t and maybe it isn’t obvious with so many men who want to be actors around here. But Ron is George Costanza next to Jake’s Brad Pitt. “He looked like a movie star and seemed to know a great deal about you. So now what? You’ll go to church and confess your sins and be free and clear and set for life after just a decade with Ron Brindle? Not a terribly steep price to pay for having it all.”
Lindsay turns crimson and her expression puckers into an unflattering, bloated manner. “Is that what you think, Jane? That I’m happy Ron is gone? Chances are you didn’t marry for love, either, or Ron Jr. would be named after his real father, whoever that is.”
Below the belt. “I’ll stay in a hotel when I return.”
“I shouldn’t have said that, Jane.”
“No, I attacked first. That was fair.” I take a bite of dry toast, and it scrapes my throat as I swallow.
Lindsay looks down at her plate and swishes the pancakes around in the syrup. She taps the fork, drops it and looks at me. “Money doesn’t solve anything, you know. That was the thing I never understood until I had it. Sure, it makes some things easier, and it helps you to numb pain or hide your fears behind the stuff, but you never stop craving what you really want.”
“More coffee?”
The waitress interrupts our conversation, and I stare over at Lindsay’s beautiful face, wan from her troubles and pain. I wonder what anyone could have done to that girl to make her marry a man twenty years older. It’s not like Ron looked young for his age. I shake my head to the waitress.
“What is it you really want, Lindsay?”
“I want to be a good person, not the bad kid my mother thought I was. I want to be good. I mean, I know I’m saved and all that, but I want my mother to see the goodness, and I don’t think she ever will. She hasn’t spoken to me since I married Ron.”
Personally, I thought all religious sorts saw themselves as good. The reality may have been different, but that
“I understand it. I’m only saying it won’t happen and neither will anything with Jake. That chapter is closed. But this thing with your son will haunt you until you come clean.”
“I’ll take my chances,” I tell her as I stab at my eggs with my fork. “Why do you suddenly care about my sordid past?”
“I didn’t, until I met Ron Jr. It just seems wrong to lie to him. Doesn’t that get to you?”
“He’s my son. What do you think?”
She shrugs as she shoves more food into her mouth and talks around the pancakes. “My mother lied to me. I guess the whole scenario hits too close to home.”
“Moms do strange things for their children, and it may not make sense to you at the time, but later…when you’re grown and gone.”
“It still makes no sense to me.”
I find myself getting tired of being questioned. “You got what you married for. What do you care what happens to the rest of the money? You didn’t love him, and it’s not a bad take for ten years of labor, is it?”
This isn’t like me, and I hate the barrage of words coming out of my mouth. “I’m sorry, Lindsay.”
She throws her water bottle back like a tequila shot and wags her finger at me. “No, that’s all right, but for the record, I never said that.”
“Said what?”
“I said I didn’t marry for love. That doesn’t mean I didn’t come to love and appreciate whom I did marry. Ron and I had a great relationship in the end. Give me a little credit. I made the best of my situation. Some people who marry for love can’t even say that.”
“Who was Jake, then? Maybe you’ll feel better spilling your secrets. Maybe it’s not me you’re concerned about at all. You don’t expect me to believe you forsook Jake for Ron and stayed true.” I laugh, but Lindsay doesn’t and maybe it isn’t obvious with so many men who want to be actors around here. But Ron is George Costanza next to Jake’s Brad Pitt. “He looked like a movie star and seemed to know a great deal about you. So now what? You’ll go to church and confess your sins and be free and clear and set for life after just a decade with Ron Brindle? Not a terribly steep price to pay for having it all.”
Lindsay turns crimson and her expression puckers into an unflattering, bloated manner. “Is that what you think, Jane? That I’m happy Ron is gone? Chances are you didn’t marry for love, either, or Ron Jr. would be named after his real father, whoever that is.”
Below the belt. “I’ll stay in a hotel when I return.”
“I shouldn’t have said that, Jane.”
“No, I attacked first. That was fair.” I take a bite of dry toast, and it scrapes my throat as I swallow.
Lindsay looks down at her plate and swishes the pancakes around in the syrup. She taps the fork, drops it and looks at me. “Money doesn’t solve anything, you know. That was the thing I never understood until I had it. Sure, it makes some things easier, and it helps you to numb pain or hide your fears behind the stuff, but you never stop craving what you really want.”
“More coffee?”
The waitress interrupts our conversation, and I stare over at Lindsay’s beautiful face, wan from her troubles and pain. I wonder what anyone could have done to that girl to make her marry a man twenty years older. It’s not like Ron looked young for his age. I shake my head to the waitress.
“What is it you really want, Lindsay?”
“I want to be a good person, not the bad kid my mother thought I was. I want to be good. I mean, I know I’m saved and all that, but I want my mother to see the goodness, and I don’t think she ever will. She hasn’t spoken to me since I married Ron.”
Personally, I thought all religious sorts saw themselves as good. The reality may have been different, but that
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