coffee
table where it was slowly losing juice. Caller ID told her that her eldest was
on the other end of the line.
Not now, she decided, and set the
phone back down. She loved her daughter, but sometimes Samantha simply exhausted
her.
This was nothing new. She’d begun by keeping her pregnant
mother awake half the night with her in-the-womb acrobatics, and she hadn’t been
any easier to corral once she’d left for the big wide world. Samantha had never
been fond of the word no, which had made her a top
seller in school fundraisers. It also made her a challenge to raise. She’d
always pushed the boundaries on everything from allowances to clothing styles to
curfews. By the time the other two girls came along, Muriel had given up on her
idea of holding the reins of parenthood tightly and had gone lenient.
“ I never got to stay out that
late,” Samantha would complain when Bailey came dragging home at midnight. “And
you’re going to let her stay out all night for prom?”
Frustration with her mother’s choices hadn’t stopped with such
minor issues. “Mom, you can’t put Waldo in charge of this company. He’s a sweet
man and I know he wants to be involved, but he doesn’t understand how we do
things.”
“He’s a businessman,” Muriel had insisted. “And he’ll bring new
ideas to the table.”
The fallout from that decision had taken her relationship with
her firstborn to new lows, and so far she hadn’t been able to atone for her bad
judgment. So she’d vowed that whatever her daughter needed to do, she’d be
supportive. But putting on this festival just seemed so impossible. Merely
thinking about it exhausted her. The last thing she wanted to do today was talk
about it.
With a frown, Muriel refocused her attention on the pictures
from her honeymoon cruise with Waldo. There they stood at the ship’s railing,
the turquoise waters of the Caribbean serving as a backdrop, smiling like a
couple who had many good years ahead of them. She sighed and turned the page and
fingered the picture of them seated at the captain’s table, her in her evening
gown and Waldo in his tux. They should’ve just kept cruising and left Samantha
to run the business.
She flipped through the pages, blinking back tears at the
snapshots of their short life together: picnicking at Lost Bride Falls, enjoying
dinner at the Space Needle in Seattle, posing in front of the tree last
Christmas. She looked at the brave face he was putting on and felt tears
forming. They’d known about his condition for a month by then but hadn’t told
the girls. The holidays hadn’t seemed like the right time. Now there was no
point in saying anything, especially to Samantha. She’d only feel bad about how
angry she’d been with him.
Samantha. With a sigh, Muriel picked up the phone to check the
message.
Her daughter’s voice was filled with energy. “Good news, Mom.
The Chamber is behind us. Our chocolate festival is a go. Looks like you’re
going to be busy for the next several weeks.”
Busy for the next several weeks, and all with a daughter living
at home again.
Not that she didn’t want Cecily back—she would be a comfort.
But she would also be…here. And even though Muriel loved her daughter, she’d
rather not expend valuable energy pretending she was doing well. She just wanted
to sleep or sit in the office and stare into space or look at pictures. She’d
been down this road before and it didn’t get any easier the second time around.
In fact, she was sure it was harder.
And how to explain that to her daughters, to anyone? How could
you explain the ache of loss, the deep well of sorrow, to people who hadn’t
experienced it yet?
The moment that thought emerged, she knew she wasn’t being
fair. Her daughters had experienced the loss of a father they adored.
Still, they were young. They had their whole lives before them.
They’d find men who loved them and build lives with those men. Muriel wouldn’t.
She’d been
table where it was slowly losing juice. Caller ID told her that her eldest was
on the other end of the line.
Not now, she decided, and set the
phone back down. She loved her daughter, but sometimes Samantha simply exhausted
her.
This was nothing new. She’d begun by keeping her pregnant
mother awake half the night with her in-the-womb acrobatics, and she hadn’t been
any easier to corral once she’d left for the big wide world. Samantha had never
been fond of the word no, which had made her a top
seller in school fundraisers. It also made her a challenge to raise. She’d
always pushed the boundaries on everything from allowances to clothing styles to
curfews. By the time the other two girls came along, Muriel had given up on her
idea of holding the reins of parenthood tightly and had gone lenient.
“ I never got to stay out that
late,” Samantha would complain when Bailey came dragging home at midnight. “And
you’re going to let her stay out all night for prom?”
Frustration with her mother’s choices hadn’t stopped with such
minor issues. “Mom, you can’t put Waldo in charge of this company. He’s a sweet
man and I know he wants to be involved, but he doesn’t understand how we do
things.”
“He’s a businessman,” Muriel had insisted. “And he’ll bring new
ideas to the table.”
The fallout from that decision had taken her relationship with
her firstborn to new lows, and so far she hadn’t been able to atone for her bad
judgment. So she’d vowed that whatever her daughter needed to do, she’d be
supportive. But putting on this festival just seemed so impossible. Merely
thinking about it exhausted her. The last thing she wanted to do today was talk
about it.
With a frown, Muriel refocused her attention on the pictures
from her honeymoon cruise with Waldo. There they stood at the ship’s railing,
the turquoise waters of the Caribbean serving as a backdrop, smiling like a
couple who had many good years ahead of them. She sighed and turned the page and
fingered the picture of them seated at the captain’s table, her in her evening
gown and Waldo in his tux. They should’ve just kept cruising and left Samantha
to run the business.
She flipped through the pages, blinking back tears at the
snapshots of their short life together: picnicking at Lost Bride Falls, enjoying
dinner at the Space Needle in Seattle, posing in front of the tree last
Christmas. She looked at the brave face he was putting on and felt tears
forming. They’d known about his condition for a month by then but hadn’t told
the girls. The holidays hadn’t seemed like the right time. Now there was no
point in saying anything, especially to Samantha. She’d only feel bad about how
angry she’d been with him.
Samantha. With a sigh, Muriel picked up the phone to check the
message.
Her daughter’s voice was filled with energy. “Good news, Mom.
The Chamber is behind us. Our chocolate festival is a go. Looks like you’re
going to be busy for the next several weeks.”
Busy for the next several weeks, and all with a daughter living
at home again.
Not that she didn’t want Cecily back—she would be a comfort.
But she would also be…here. And even though Muriel loved her daughter, she’d
rather not expend valuable energy pretending she was doing well. She just wanted
to sleep or sit in the office and stare into space or look at pictures. She’d
been down this road before and it didn’t get any easier the second time around.
In fact, she was sure it was harder.
And how to explain that to her daughters, to anyone? How could
you explain the ache of loss, the deep well of sorrow, to people who hadn’t
experienced it yet?
The moment that thought emerged, she knew she wasn’t being
fair. Her daughters had experienced the loss of a father they adored.
Still, they were young. They had their whole lives before them.
They’d find men who loved them and build lives with those men. Muriel wouldn’t.
She’d been
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