after Baby Girl Phillips. What a beautiful thing to do.
Through a fresh batch of tears, I read the card.
Though I haven’t been there
And you may feel alone
Even when I’m far away
You are my forever home.
Love always and forever,
Mason
Had I ever really known this man at all? The Mason that I had been with did not show emotion. He never showed up with flowers or sent cards. I had to drag his feelings out of him. Now he was doing everything to make me see that he had changed. I was starting to believe him, but the wall around my heart was not willing to crumble just like that.
I picked up my phone and dialed his number. He answered on the first ring.
“Hey, babe.”
“Oh, Mason. I just got your card.”
My voice broke immediately even though I was trying desperately to control my emotions.
“I hope you liked it. I carried that picture with me every day that we were apart. You look the most beautiful and happy that I have ever seen you there. It got me through so many nights when I thought about ending it all.”
“I remember when you took it. I remember how in love with you I was and how I couldn’t wait for our future. If only I could go back and change it.”
“I know, baby. I know. But we can’t change the past. We can only look to the future and work on making up for lost time. I know what I want. I just need you on board.”
“I’m still not ready. But I love the star. What a perfect way to remember her. Especially since no one knows she ever even existed. My sweet baby girl who never had a chance.”
At that point my voice broke, and I couldn’t even speak. He sat on the other end of the line speaking soothing words about how much he loved us both to soothe me. When I finally settled down, it was time to end the call.
“I will wait for you. I said it, and I meant it. I will wait until you figure out that Austin will never be what you need. I love you.”
“I love you, too. And thank you.”
“You’re welcome, baby. I’m here if you need me. Always.”
I hung up the phone and spent more time alone with the picture. Mason had given me a true gift and I would always cherish it. I wasn’t sure that I would have been able to look at it before now. I planned on taking it to my next therapy appointment later in the week to talk about it.
Since it was getting late, I headed to bed. The next day, I did much of the same. Writing along with some sun bathing in the back yard. Around noon, I got a text from Austin.
Is everything ok? I never heard back from you yesterday.
Yes, I’m ok. I was just busy with work. I will see you soon. <3
Okay. I miss you so much, pretty girl.
That one tugged at my heart a bit. I missed him, too. I knew I needed to give him a chance to explain what I saw. It wasn’t fair of me to hold something against him when I didn’t know the whole story.
Erin called around 4:00 to let me know that I needed to be ready at 7:00. I put on a pair of jeans, flip flops, and a flowy, one-shoulder tank top. I let my hair flow loose and wild and wore small hoop earrings.
Dan’s big, loud truck pulled in at a little after 7:00, and I climbed into the back seat. He was blasting his favorite country music and singing along as loud as he could. He was the perfect match for Erin, and I often envied their relationship. The two of them had been the ones to drag me out of the house and help bring me back to the land of the living. I owed them big time.
With the windows rolled down, the summer wind blew threw and my hair was all over the place. I was fine with it. There was nothing better than a ride in a truck on a summer night. That was the small town girl in me.
We arrived at the bar by the lake after about a 15-minute ride. I was surprised to see such a large crowd on a Tuesday night. I climbed down from the backseat and followed Erin and Dan in as they walked hand in hand in their matching team t-shirts.
They greeted a bunch of friends, and I knew a few of them. Dan bought
Through a fresh batch of tears, I read the card.
Though I haven’t been there
And you may feel alone
Even when I’m far away
You are my forever home.
Love always and forever,
Mason
Had I ever really known this man at all? The Mason that I had been with did not show emotion. He never showed up with flowers or sent cards. I had to drag his feelings out of him. Now he was doing everything to make me see that he had changed. I was starting to believe him, but the wall around my heart was not willing to crumble just like that.
I picked up my phone and dialed his number. He answered on the first ring.
“Hey, babe.”
“Oh, Mason. I just got your card.”
My voice broke immediately even though I was trying desperately to control my emotions.
“I hope you liked it. I carried that picture with me every day that we were apart. You look the most beautiful and happy that I have ever seen you there. It got me through so many nights when I thought about ending it all.”
“I remember when you took it. I remember how in love with you I was and how I couldn’t wait for our future. If only I could go back and change it.”
“I know, baby. I know. But we can’t change the past. We can only look to the future and work on making up for lost time. I know what I want. I just need you on board.”
“I’m still not ready. But I love the star. What a perfect way to remember her. Especially since no one knows she ever even existed. My sweet baby girl who never had a chance.”
At that point my voice broke, and I couldn’t even speak. He sat on the other end of the line speaking soothing words about how much he loved us both to soothe me. When I finally settled down, it was time to end the call.
“I will wait for you. I said it, and I meant it. I will wait until you figure out that Austin will never be what you need. I love you.”
“I love you, too. And thank you.”
“You’re welcome, baby. I’m here if you need me. Always.”
I hung up the phone and spent more time alone with the picture. Mason had given me a true gift and I would always cherish it. I wasn’t sure that I would have been able to look at it before now. I planned on taking it to my next therapy appointment later in the week to talk about it.
Since it was getting late, I headed to bed. The next day, I did much of the same. Writing along with some sun bathing in the back yard. Around noon, I got a text from Austin.
Is everything ok? I never heard back from you yesterday.
Yes, I’m ok. I was just busy with work. I will see you soon. <3
Okay. I miss you so much, pretty girl.
That one tugged at my heart a bit. I missed him, too. I knew I needed to give him a chance to explain what I saw. It wasn’t fair of me to hold something against him when I didn’t know the whole story.
Erin called around 4:00 to let me know that I needed to be ready at 7:00. I put on a pair of jeans, flip flops, and a flowy, one-shoulder tank top. I let my hair flow loose and wild and wore small hoop earrings.
Dan’s big, loud truck pulled in at a little after 7:00, and I climbed into the back seat. He was blasting his favorite country music and singing along as loud as he could. He was the perfect match for Erin, and I often envied their relationship. The two of them had been the ones to drag me out of the house and help bring me back to the land of the living. I owed them big time.
With the windows rolled down, the summer wind blew threw and my hair was all over the place. I was fine with it. There was nothing better than a ride in a truck on a summer night. That was the small town girl in me.
We arrived at the bar by the lake after about a 15-minute ride. I was surprised to see such a large crowd on a Tuesday night. I climbed down from the backseat and followed Erin and Dan in as they walked hand in hand in their matching team t-shirts.
They greeted a bunch of friends, and I knew a few of them. Dan bought
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