far better idea!’
‘Nothing like the prospect of death to concentrate the mind, is there? Go on!’
The Doctor took a deep breath, and sentenced the world to Greek civilization.
‘What would you say to a horse?’ he asked.
‘Is it a riddle?’
‘No, no – of course not! I mean, a huge wooden horse – Oh, about forty feet high, I should think. Look. I’ll do you a drawing.’
‘Don’t bother – I know perfectly well what a horse looks like.’
‘Good. Then that’s the first half of the battle.’
‘I can’t wait for the second. What on earth are you rambling on about now?’
‘I’m trying to tell you, aren’t I? Listen – you make the body of the horse hollow; then you fill it with your picked warriors; and you leave it on the plain for the Trojans to capture! How about that?’
‘It would be one way of solving our food shortage, I suppose. Got any more ideas?’
‘I do wish you’d pay attention! Can’t you see – they’ll drag it into the city?’
‘It’s my belief you’re demented! Why on earth would they do a silly thing like that?’
‘Because,’ said the Doctor triumphantly, ‘they’ll think it’s the Great Horse of Asia, come down to save them!’ There was a long pause.
‘And just how would they expect it to do that?’ asked Odysseus, having looked at the plan from every angle.
‘By frightening away the Greek army. Because that’s what it would seem to have done, wouldn’t it? Everyone of you not required for horse-construction duty, would sail away over the horizon.’
‘And only come back once the horse is inside the gates?’
‘Precisely! Splendid! I knew you’d see it! Well, how does it strike you?’ asked the Doctor, excited as if he’d thought of it himself. What we writers really need is absolutely water-tight copyright laws; but I don’t suppose we’ll ever get ’em.
‘I must think it over,’ said Odysseus, cautiously. ‘At least, I don’t think its ever been done before,’ he admitted. ‘On the other hand, that might be against it, in certain quarters... Tell you what, give me half an hour to work out a few details.’
‘To quantify the project,’ murmured the Doctor, beaming like Archimedes on a good day.
‘If you prefer it. And if I can’t find a flaw, we’ll ask Agamemnon over for a drink, and put it to him.’
Well, of course, I couldn’t wait half an hour to tell the Doctor the bad news about Steven and Vicki; because, if they weren’t already dead, they were bound to be in prison, waiting to be executed by the due process of law; so there wouldn’t be all that long for him to hang about congratulating himself, if he was going to get them out of it: certainly not long enough for him to build a damn’ great wooden horse, I wouldn’t have thought.
The snag was that Odysseus showed no signs of being about to retire to his cabin to do his thinking, no, he kept pacing the deck, growling to himself, and occasionally giving one of those great diabolical laughs of his. So there was obviously going to be no chance of getting the Doctor alone for a moment.
But Odysseus did seem to be in a good enough mood, judging by the sound effects: so I thought I’d better risk it, and gamble on the possibility of his not killing me before good faith could be established.
I therefore stepped confidently out of the shadows, and –
probably the bravest thing I’ve ever done – hopped buoyantly over the gunnels to deliver my message.
‘Doctor,’ I said, ‘you don’t know me, but I assure you I’m a friend: and I have to tell you that Steven and Vicki have both been captured, and sentenced to death by the Trojans. Mind you the Trojans don’t seem to be at all bad chaps on the whole; and I’m sure a word in the right quarter, possibly from you, Lord Odysseus – would resolve the matter of their identity in no time.
But something’s got to be done – because it’s that Cassandra, you see? She’s the one who wants them to
‘Nothing like the prospect of death to concentrate the mind, is there? Go on!’
The Doctor took a deep breath, and sentenced the world to Greek civilization.
‘What would you say to a horse?’ he asked.
‘Is it a riddle?’
‘No, no – of course not! I mean, a huge wooden horse – Oh, about forty feet high, I should think. Look. I’ll do you a drawing.’
‘Don’t bother – I know perfectly well what a horse looks like.’
‘Good. Then that’s the first half of the battle.’
‘I can’t wait for the second. What on earth are you rambling on about now?’
‘I’m trying to tell you, aren’t I? Listen – you make the body of the horse hollow; then you fill it with your picked warriors; and you leave it on the plain for the Trojans to capture! How about that?’
‘It would be one way of solving our food shortage, I suppose. Got any more ideas?’
‘I do wish you’d pay attention! Can’t you see – they’ll drag it into the city?’
‘It’s my belief you’re demented! Why on earth would they do a silly thing like that?’
‘Because,’ said the Doctor triumphantly, ‘they’ll think it’s the Great Horse of Asia, come down to save them!’ There was a long pause.
‘And just how would they expect it to do that?’ asked Odysseus, having looked at the plan from every angle.
‘By frightening away the Greek army. Because that’s what it would seem to have done, wouldn’t it? Everyone of you not required for horse-construction duty, would sail away over the horizon.’
‘And only come back once the horse is inside the gates?’
‘Precisely! Splendid! I knew you’d see it! Well, how does it strike you?’ asked the Doctor, excited as if he’d thought of it himself. What we writers really need is absolutely water-tight copyright laws; but I don’t suppose we’ll ever get ’em.
‘I must think it over,’ said Odysseus, cautiously. ‘At least, I don’t think its ever been done before,’ he admitted. ‘On the other hand, that might be against it, in certain quarters... Tell you what, give me half an hour to work out a few details.’
‘To quantify the project,’ murmured the Doctor, beaming like Archimedes on a good day.
‘If you prefer it. And if I can’t find a flaw, we’ll ask Agamemnon over for a drink, and put it to him.’
Well, of course, I couldn’t wait half an hour to tell the Doctor the bad news about Steven and Vicki; because, if they weren’t already dead, they were bound to be in prison, waiting to be executed by the due process of law; so there wouldn’t be all that long for him to hang about congratulating himself, if he was going to get them out of it: certainly not long enough for him to build a damn’ great wooden horse, I wouldn’t have thought.
The snag was that Odysseus showed no signs of being about to retire to his cabin to do his thinking, no, he kept pacing the deck, growling to himself, and occasionally giving one of those great diabolical laughs of his. So there was obviously going to be no chance of getting the Doctor alone for a moment.
But Odysseus did seem to be in a good enough mood, judging by the sound effects: so I thought I’d better risk it, and gamble on the possibility of his not killing me before good faith could be established.
I therefore stepped confidently out of the shadows, and –
probably the bravest thing I’ve ever done – hopped buoyantly over the gunnels to deliver my message.
‘Doctor,’ I said, ‘you don’t know me, but I assure you I’m a friend: and I have to tell you that Steven and Vicki have both been captured, and sentenced to death by the Trojans. Mind you the Trojans don’t seem to be at all bad chaps on the whole; and I’m sure a word in the right quarter, possibly from you, Lord Odysseus – would resolve the matter of their identity in no time.
But something’s got to be done – because it’s that Cassandra, you see? She’s the one who wants them to
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