place settings, anxious for Marcus to get here with Ellie and Sophie. I wonder if they’ll be sad when Marcus leaves, or if they’ll cry in my arms that I couldn’t keep our family together. I keep waiting to be heartbroken about not being able to spend today with Marcus like we always have, snuggling in watching football together, after gorging ourselves with turkey…but I’m not. It’s the safety of consistency he has always brought to my life that I miss most. Yes, I miss Marcus, and yes I love Marcus, but my heart has been breaking for my girls and the family they were losing.
I hear the chiming of the bells at the front door and push my melancholy feelings away, remembering that I am going to make this the best Thanksgiving ever. I look up from my display of turkey napkins that I have fanned along the side of the bar, plastering a smile on my face, only to see it isn’t Marcus with the girls, but an frustratingly scorching-looking Holden. Why do you have to be so hot!
I have tried so hard to keep myself from being attracted to Holden when we are together, which is a struggle because he is disgustingly good-looking, but today is going to be impossible to push out my naughty thoughts with him looking this way. He is wearing a light blue buttoned-down shirt that is unbuttoned just enough that it makes me blush. I feel like I am in high school again when his eyes meet mine in a way that makes my heart stop. I don’t think I’ve gone this long without so much as a kiss from anyone since I’ve been fifteen; my hormones are definitely on overdrive.
Today, there seems to be something different about Holden. I can see that right away. It’s like he is glowing. Not like pregnant lady glowing, but like he is an angel from heaven, and I have to remind myself to breathe kind of glowing. His emerald green eyes meet mine with compassion and something more I can’t quite place. He must see the anxiety I am feeling today on my face because he comes right up to me and wraps me in his comforting arms. I love the way I feel so small and safe when he holds me this way.
“Happy Thanksgiving, Cam,” Holden whispers sweetly and kisses the top of my head.
“Ditto.” I don’t pull away and he doesn’t let go. I didn’t realize how much it means to me to have him here until now. “I didn’t think you’d be here until later,” I whisper back, breathless and unable to mask the affection in my voice.
Holden pulls back and lifts my chin so that I am looking up into his compassionate eyes. “I wanted to be here for you when Marcus comes. I know today is going to be hard for you. Plus if Marcus starts acting like an ass, I want to be the one to punch him in the face. He’s not going to ruin another holiday for my rugrats.” He kisses my forehead and steps away . First my head, then my forehead, next my lips? Don’t pull away. I want to be wrapped back in your arms where I feel safe.
I take a step back, too, needing distance between us. I can’t let my thoughts go in this direction. I can’t afford to have romantic feelings for Holden right now. I feel myself instantly throw up another wall around my heart, protecting it from another break at the thought.
“No fighting tonight, Holden. It will be fine. He’s not even going to stay for a drink. He’s going to be in and out.” I force myself to see the good in Marcus for the sake of my girls, hoping if I think it enough, I’ll believe it. “He’s not a horrible person, Holden. He just isn’t good at handling things like this.”
He reaches out and takes my hand in his, sending chills through every inch of me. No, I need distance. “I won’t just stand there and let him break your heart over and over again, Cam. Your heart deserves to be cherished…protected.” His eyes are smoldering with desire as he rubs his thumb down the middle of my palm.
I have no idea what has come over Holden today. He is always affectionate with me. But this is something more; I
I hear the chiming of the bells at the front door and push my melancholy feelings away, remembering that I am going to make this the best Thanksgiving ever. I look up from my display of turkey napkins that I have fanned along the side of the bar, plastering a smile on my face, only to see it isn’t Marcus with the girls, but an frustratingly scorching-looking Holden. Why do you have to be so hot!
I have tried so hard to keep myself from being attracted to Holden when we are together, which is a struggle because he is disgustingly good-looking, but today is going to be impossible to push out my naughty thoughts with him looking this way. He is wearing a light blue buttoned-down shirt that is unbuttoned just enough that it makes me blush. I feel like I am in high school again when his eyes meet mine in a way that makes my heart stop. I don’t think I’ve gone this long without so much as a kiss from anyone since I’ve been fifteen; my hormones are definitely on overdrive.
Today, there seems to be something different about Holden. I can see that right away. It’s like he is glowing. Not like pregnant lady glowing, but like he is an angel from heaven, and I have to remind myself to breathe kind of glowing. His emerald green eyes meet mine with compassion and something more I can’t quite place. He must see the anxiety I am feeling today on my face because he comes right up to me and wraps me in his comforting arms. I love the way I feel so small and safe when he holds me this way.
“Happy Thanksgiving, Cam,” Holden whispers sweetly and kisses the top of my head.
“Ditto.” I don’t pull away and he doesn’t let go. I didn’t realize how much it means to me to have him here until now. “I didn’t think you’d be here until later,” I whisper back, breathless and unable to mask the affection in my voice.
Holden pulls back and lifts my chin so that I am looking up into his compassionate eyes. “I wanted to be here for you when Marcus comes. I know today is going to be hard for you. Plus if Marcus starts acting like an ass, I want to be the one to punch him in the face. He’s not going to ruin another holiday for my rugrats.” He kisses my forehead and steps away . First my head, then my forehead, next my lips? Don’t pull away. I want to be wrapped back in your arms where I feel safe.
I take a step back, too, needing distance between us. I can’t let my thoughts go in this direction. I can’t afford to have romantic feelings for Holden right now. I feel myself instantly throw up another wall around my heart, protecting it from another break at the thought.
“No fighting tonight, Holden. It will be fine. He’s not even going to stay for a drink. He’s going to be in and out.” I force myself to see the good in Marcus for the sake of my girls, hoping if I think it enough, I’ll believe it. “He’s not a horrible person, Holden. He just isn’t good at handling things like this.”
He reaches out and takes my hand in his, sending chills through every inch of me. No, I need distance. “I won’t just stand there and let him break your heart over and over again, Cam. Your heart deserves to be cherished…protected.” His eyes are smoldering with desire as he rubs his thumb down the middle of my palm.
I have no idea what has come over Holden today. He is always affectionate with me. But this is something more; I
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