Eight Inches to make Johnny Smile by Claire Davis, Al Stewart Page B
Authors: Claire Davis, Al Stewart
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eyebrows and tried to hold his stomach in at the same time, creating an interesting but probably not attractive stomach tidal effect. “Fess up?” he squeaked, wincing slightly at the mouse-like tone.
“Yeah, ‘Fess Up’. According to our literature,” Johnny lingered over ‘literature’, making it long and pouty and ending in a Henry of Troy smile, “it is ‘a chance for members to discuss lapses’, but really it’s just a good bitch. You’ll love it.” Johnny’s exaggerated wink caused first his head to wobble, then his whole body to pivot elegantly.
Mat went to ‘Fess Up’, if only to stare at Johnny, who led the discussion. He gingerly sat between two ladies: Pat and Shelly. Pat linked arms with him and Shelly tapped his knee. Three people had touched him in one night. Unprecedented, and rather marvellous.
Johnny stood at the front, wearing a massive sweater that hung almost to his knees. He was beaming and blonde, with the whole room in his hand. “Right then, serious stuff first. This week, we have lost…wait for it…wait for it…twenty pounds!”
Cheers engulfed the room, and Mat found himself cheering along with the rest. Johnny punched the air with both arms and did a little dance, which Mat would think about later in bed.
“A few pounds gained, but we needn’t think about them,” Johnny continued, sitting astride a chair and leaning his chin on his hand. “So, tonight we start the Valentine challenge. Same as last year, we compete over the next six months with the Northend group for the biggest group loss by Valentine’s Day. Last year we lost by two pounds, remember?” There were mutters around the room. Shelly next to Mat shouted, “Yeah, it was a bloody fix,” and everyone laughed.
“Right, who’s up first? Kath? What happened at your date?”
All eyes turned to Kath, a young woman dressed in yellow leggings and a leopard-print top that said ‘You Wish’, though it didn’t specify what for.
Kath began, “I snogged his face off, Johnny.” Another cheer went up, with Mat helplessly sandwiched between Pat and Shelley, who both hugged him.
“Go on,” urged Johnny, watching with both hands pressed dramatically over his face, eyes crinkling. So Kath did.
“He took me to effing McDonald’s, so I was not best pleased. He said at least the food had calorie counts on it and he was only thinking of me. I was gonna offer him chastity as a punishment, but a girl’s got needs, Johnny.” And the room dissolved in raucous hysteria.
Eventually, Johnny drew the meeting to a close, and people began to leave. Mat ended up with seven new phone numbers and the offer of coffee on Thursday with Shelly. Never had there been such times. He too had begun to shuffle off when he felt an arm on his elbow. It was Johnny.
“Hope it wasn’t too much for your first time, Mat? I know it can seem a little overwhelming, but everyone really is lovely and on your side. Some people come here to lose weight, some just for the fun. The more the merrier, I say. Here’s my number.” Mat helplessly handed over his phone and watched those long fingers fiddle with the digits, trying to block out images of zippers.
“Urgh, thanks, Johnny. It was great.” He couldn’t manage anything more Earth-shattering than that, but Johnny beamed back and looked right at him.
“I think this is going to be your year, Mat. Just wait and see. Call me right away if you have any trouble on the diet, don’t even hesitate. It was great to see a young guy here. You’re just what this group needs.” Johnny leaned forward, squeezed Mat’s hand, and winked.
“Bye,” Mat managed, and attempted a brisk walk whilst holding in his stomach. When he got to the car, he took out all the chocolate stashes, and threw them in a nearby bin. As he drove off home, even his car engine sounded healthier.
Chapter Two
He stuck to the diet. During the coming week, he weighed foods, checked packages and ate bags of carrot sticks. Mum
“Yeah, ‘Fess Up’. According to our literature,” Johnny lingered over ‘literature’, making it long and pouty and ending in a Henry of Troy smile, “it is ‘a chance for members to discuss lapses’, but really it’s just a good bitch. You’ll love it.” Johnny’s exaggerated wink caused first his head to wobble, then his whole body to pivot elegantly.
Mat went to ‘Fess Up’, if only to stare at Johnny, who led the discussion. He gingerly sat between two ladies: Pat and Shelly. Pat linked arms with him and Shelly tapped his knee. Three people had touched him in one night. Unprecedented, and rather marvellous.
Johnny stood at the front, wearing a massive sweater that hung almost to his knees. He was beaming and blonde, with the whole room in his hand. “Right then, serious stuff first. This week, we have lost…wait for it…wait for it…twenty pounds!”
Cheers engulfed the room, and Mat found himself cheering along with the rest. Johnny punched the air with both arms and did a little dance, which Mat would think about later in bed.
“A few pounds gained, but we needn’t think about them,” Johnny continued, sitting astride a chair and leaning his chin on his hand. “So, tonight we start the Valentine challenge. Same as last year, we compete over the next six months with the Northend group for the biggest group loss by Valentine’s Day. Last year we lost by two pounds, remember?” There were mutters around the room. Shelly next to Mat shouted, “Yeah, it was a bloody fix,” and everyone laughed.
“Right, who’s up first? Kath? What happened at your date?”
All eyes turned to Kath, a young woman dressed in yellow leggings and a leopard-print top that said ‘You Wish’, though it didn’t specify what for.
Kath began, “I snogged his face off, Johnny.” Another cheer went up, with Mat helplessly sandwiched between Pat and Shelley, who both hugged him.
“Go on,” urged Johnny, watching with both hands pressed dramatically over his face, eyes crinkling. So Kath did.
“He took me to effing McDonald’s, so I was not best pleased. He said at least the food had calorie counts on it and he was only thinking of me. I was gonna offer him chastity as a punishment, but a girl’s got needs, Johnny.” And the room dissolved in raucous hysteria.
Eventually, Johnny drew the meeting to a close, and people began to leave. Mat ended up with seven new phone numbers and the offer of coffee on Thursday with Shelly. Never had there been such times. He too had begun to shuffle off when he felt an arm on his elbow. It was Johnny.
“Hope it wasn’t too much for your first time, Mat? I know it can seem a little overwhelming, but everyone really is lovely and on your side. Some people come here to lose weight, some just for the fun. The more the merrier, I say. Here’s my number.” Mat helplessly handed over his phone and watched those long fingers fiddle with the digits, trying to block out images of zippers.
“Urgh, thanks, Johnny. It was great.” He couldn’t manage anything more Earth-shattering than that, but Johnny beamed back and looked right at him.
“I think this is going to be your year, Mat. Just wait and see. Call me right away if you have any trouble on the diet, don’t even hesitate. It was great to see a young guy here. You’re just what this group needs.” Johnny leaned forward, squeezed Mat’s hand, and winked.
“Bye,” Mat managed, and attempted a brisk walk whilst holding in his stomach. When he got to the car, he took out all the chocolate stashes, and threw them in a nearby bin. As he drove off home, even his car engine sounded healthier.
Chapter Two
He stuck to the diet. During the coming week, he weighed foods, checked packages and ate bags of carrot sticks. Mum
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