Falling Behind (Falling Series) by Dee Avila Page A

losing all control. I was in the middle of a full blown panic attack and Josh was still coming at me. It felt like an eternity for him to move across the small space in his single cab Nissan truck. Once he got his body on my side of the console, he was able to start sliding forward. I felt the bite of the arm rest on the door in my back as I pushed myself further away. I knew I needed to work on controlling my breathing. I couldn’t. I couldn’t think about anything but getting away. There was nowhere for me to go. Josh was in front of me and the door beside me was blocked by a freaking telephone pole.
    “Reese , Baby, you need to breathe.” He lifted his hand toward me and I flinched away. I was blocked in; there was no way I could breathe. I tried to move my hand to push him back but nothing moved.
    “I won’t hurt you,” he said. His hands slid up my thighs. “You’re sweating and shaking. What’s wrong?” He slid back away from me and it was as if my lungs suddenly kicked back into functioning mode.
    I took in a deep brea th relieving the pain from my air-starved lungs. “H-h-home.” It was the only word I could get out. If I thought my legs could have held me, I would’ve gotten out as soon as he pulled forward and my door was no longer barricaded. I sat there, staring forward. I never looked at him. We passed back by the high school and I counted the seven seconds until we were pulling up alongside my house.
    I reached a shaky hand out and grabbed the door handle as he reached toward me. I shook my head and climbed out, barely able to stand. Warm tears streamed down my face. Pushing the door shut with my hip, I heard a faint, “I’m sorry.”
    Lucky for me , no one was home. I slipped into the house and headed straight for the bathroom. After washing my face, I fell on to my bed. The last thing I remember was wishing I could call at least one of my best friends; but I ruined both of those friendships. I chose Candice’s life over our friendship, and I would do it again, without regret. I chose my boyfriend over Titus. I’m not sure that was the best thing for me, but what was done was done. There was no turning back. He probably hated me now, more than ever. My lids grew heavy as I sank further into my pillow.
     
    Chapter Eleven
    Reese
     
    “Reese, Honey, wake up.” Mom’s voice was soft and I could feel her gently shaking my shoulder.
    “Mom ?” My voice was rough with sleep and the word came out more like a gasp.
    “I know this is a stupid question , but is everything okay? It’s not like you to sleep after school. Especially this late.”
    “What time is it?” 
    “Just after seven. Dinner’s ready.” Mom stood up from her spot on my bed, reaching a hand out to help me up.
    I felt weak, drained , really. Since it had been so long since my last attack, I had forgotten how much they take out of me. I reached for Mom, clasping her wrist, allowing her to help me up. “I wish I was okay. I wish Candice wasn’t mad at me. And I really wish I hadn’t told Ty we couldn’t be friends.”
    “I knew it was a stupid question.” Mom smiled, “Candice will forgive you and you can fix things with Titus.”
    I shook my head. “I wish I believed that.”
    Mom didn’t say anything , just led the way out of my room. Dinner was unusually silent. I finished up and asked to be excused, telling everyone goodnight. My parents both looked at me curiously, or maybe it was concern, it was hard to tell; but neither said anything more than, “goodnight.”
    Once I was in my room and had changed into my pajamas, I dug my phone out of my bag and scrolled through the missed calls and text messages. Twenty-two calls from Josh. Eleven texts from him, and one from Titus. A smiled stretched my cheeks as I opened the message from Titus. Maybe he didn’t hate me after all.
    Ty: H ey just checking to see if you’re ok.
    I missed him like crazy , even though I had talked to him earlier, today. I quickly tapped out