Heartless by Casey Kelleher Page A

he said, as he sat on the bed.
    “I feel in a bad way now,” Sophia said, feeling ashamed. “I’m so sorry about this, Tommy. I’ve ruined the party, haven’t I?” Sophia knew that Tommy must be pissed off after all the effort he had gone to, even though he wasn’t showing it. She wished more than anything that she hadn’t drunk so much now.
    Tommy shrugged.
    Hoping to make it up to him, Sophia reached out and took Tommy’s hand.
    She felt Tommy tense up, seemingly surprised, before he responded by leaning down and kissing her. Feeling him move his hand up her chest, her heart thudded.
    “So, have I ruined your night?” she asked teasingly. She could tell from the bulge in his trousers that he was enjoying the kissing as much as she was. Sophia moved Tommy’s hand down and guided it underneath her top.
    Tommy pulled his hand away. He looked at her questioningly.
    “It’s okay, Tommy. I want to.” Sophia moved her legs apart.
    “Are you sure?” he asked, and she nodded.
    “You feel the same about me as I do about you?” Tommy kissed her gently on her forehead.
    Catching a strong whiff of alcohol from his breath as he spoke, Sophia nodded before turning her head to avoid it; even just the smell of alcohol made her feel rough.
    She did love him: of that there was no doubt. In the short time that she had known him she had thought of nothing but him. Tommy was the most decent, caring boy that she had ever met. He made her feel safe.
    However, she stiffened as his warm palm caressed her stomach. Suddenly, she felt apprehensive. She wasn’t sure that she was really ready to do this. But she wanted to make it up to him for ruining the party, and the stroking sensation was quickly soothing her worries away. Gradually, she began to relax as Tommy moved his hand down further.
    “Are you sure you want me?” he asked, as he pushed her skirt up around her hips, grazing her thighs with his hands.
    He moved his hand away, which made her crave his touch once again.
    “I’m sorry,” she said. “I do want to; it’s just that I wanted my first time to be...”
    She was too drunk to finish explaining and the warmth of Tommy’s body, and the way he had gently touched her skin, made her doubt everything that she had believed. Putting his hand back on her body, she nodded at him to carry on.
    “What do you mean?” he asked.
    “I don’t know. I wanted it to be special, I guess,” she whispered. She wondered why she was vacillating. She was sixteen now: old enough. And she was curious. Megan had told her all about the night she had lost her virginity; she had boasted enough times about how amazing it was, and how she had had her first orgasm. She said there was no feeling in the world like it.
    “It will be special. I’m going to make it so special for you,” Tommy whispered back as he pulled her knickers down and moved awkwardly on top of her.
    “We need a condom, Tommy,” Sophia said suddenly feeling very nervous that they were going to actually do this.
    “Hang on,” he reassured her as he fiddled about with himself before straddled her body once more.
    At first she liked it, but then the weight of him pinning her down made her feel claustrophobic and nausea washed over her in waves. As Tommy moved on top of her, she tried to focus on her breathing as a way of distraction. Her heart was beating loudly. Tommy’s breath rasped against her cheek as he kissed her hard on her mouth. She screwed up her face at the sudden sharp pain that she felt as he pushed himself inside her without warning.
    “Tommy,” Sophia managed to say quietly, still lightheaded from all the cocktails.
    She felt like she was suffocating underneath him. The room was still spinning.
    Tommy grunted in her ear as he moved his body up and down on top of her, gathering momentum as he pushed her back and forth on the bed. Pounding on top of her, he thrust himself harder into her. Sophia gritted her teeth and tried to hold back her tears. She