How to Build a Fire: And Other Handy Things Your Grandfather Knew by Erin Bried Page B
Authors: Erin Bried
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mile for a horse’s ass.
Step 4: Look for flaws. This may feel a bit shady, but it really isn’t. Examine the item you’d like to buy for any imperfections. If it’s got any stains, scratches, pulls, or dents, you’ll be more likely to get an automatic damaged-good discount, which is usually at least 10 percent.
Step 5: Offer to pay in cash. Stores have to pay a small fee to credit card companies if you use plastic. By paying in cash, they’ll likely pass that savings on to you, if you ask for it.
Step 6: Walk away. Sometimes the threat of losing the sale is enough to make the seller cave. If he doesn’t, just keep on walking. You’ve already determined that the price is not right.
More Handy Tips
Be firm. Serious hagglers actually get better deals than sweet ones. When you get down to the nitty-gritty deal making, try not to smile, stammer, or blush.
Be friendly. Insulting the seller or his products won’t make him want to do you any favors.
Keep Your Shirt
• • •
“A bet is fun if winning is neat and losing doesn’t hurt. Wager a chocolate milk shake after a game. It’s a great thing.”
—B OB K ELLY
H OW TO M AKE A F RIENDLY W AGER
Step 1: Make the invitation. Find a willing and honest friend, and propose a bet on the event of your choosing (who can run to the tree faster, who can hit the green in one stroke on a par three, or who will win the Super Bowl). Agree on the parameters before proceeding.
Step 2: Set the stakes. Only ever bet what you can afford—and are fully prepared—to lose. Even if the odds are in your favor and you’re confident that you’ll win, you must remember that gambling is always chancy. When placing your wager, consider your risk more heavily than your reward.
Step 3: Shake on it. Once you’ve each agreed on the rules and stakes, then look your friend in the eye and grasp hands to make it official. If you’d like, you can even seal the deal verbally by adding “It’s a bet” or “We’re on.” If you really want to make your opponent nervous, throw back your head and belly-laugh.
Step 4: Watch and wait. Using good sportsman-like conduct (see this page ), allow whatever event you just bet on to transpire. You may cheer on your contender (even if it’s you), but do be gracious enough to refrain from trash-talking your opponent. It’s just bad form.
Step 5: Reconcile your bet. Regardless of the stakes you set, remember that you’ve already put something even more valuable on the line: your reputation. If you’ve lost, pay up and offer the winner another handshake and even a few kind words, if you can muster them. If you’ve won, collect your winnings and thank your worthy opponent.
More Handy Tips
Bet for fun, not to prove a point. There is a difference between making a friendly wager once in a while and being a know-it-all who just wants to be right. If you find yourself often saying, “Oh, yeah? Wanna bet?”—stop talking and listen. If you don’t, odds are you won’t have too many friends after a while.
Before wagering any money, always consider the gentleman’s bet. The winner receives respect and satisfaction, while the loser must endure the shame of choosing poorly.
Gamble only in moderation. Placing bets once in a while is perfectly fine, but if you find yourself obsessing over your wagers, taking too many risks, or losing sleep over your habit, seek help at www.gamblersanonymous.org .
5
Thriving
• • •
Practice good health every day, and you’ll live longer and be happier. It’s that simple .
Get Smooth
• • •
“I have such tender skin. After I shave, I put on the aftershave. It smells so good. Then I walk over to my wife, I lean over her, and I rub my cheek against her face on each side. Then I sneak in a little smooch. That’s the routine every time I shave. I know if I keep shaving, I can keep rubbing cheeks with her.”
—J OE T OTH
H OW TO G ET THE P ERFECT S HAVE
Step 1: Wake yourself up.
Step 4: Look for flaws. This may feel a bit shady, but it really isn’t. Examine the item you’d like to buy for any imperfections. If it’s got any stains, scratches, pulls, or dents, you’ll be more likely to get an automatic damaged-good discount, which is usually at least 10 percent.
Step 5: Offer to pay in cash. Stores have to pay a small fee to credit card companies if you use plastic. By paying in cash, they’ll likely pass that savings on to you, if you ask for it.
Step 6: Walk away. Sometimes the threat of losing the sale is enough to make the seller cave. If he doesn’t, just keep on walking. You’ve already determined that the price is not right.
More Handy Tips
Be firm. Serious hagglers actually get better deals than sweet ones. When you get down to the nitty-gritty deal making, try not to smile, stammer, or blush.
Be friendly. Insulting the seller or his products won’t make him want to do you any favors.
Keep Your Shirt
• • •
“A bet is fun if winning is neat and losing doesn’t hurt. Wager a chocolate milk shake after a game. It’s a great thing.”
—B OB K ELLY
H OW TO M AKE A F RIENDLY W AGER
Step 1: Make the invitation. Find a willing and honest friend, and propose a bet on the event of your choosing (who can run to the tree faster, who can hit the green in one stroke on a par three, or who will win the Super Bowl). Agree on the parameters before proceeding.
Step 2: Set the stakes. Only ever bet what you can afford—and are fully prepared—to lose. Even if the odds are in your favor and you’re confident that you’ll win, you must remember that gambling is always chancy. When placing your wager, consider your risk more heavily than your reward.
Step 3: Shake on it. Once you’ve each agreed on the rules and stakes, then look your friend in the eye and grasp hands to make it official. If you’d like, you can even seal the deal verbally by adding “It’s a bet” or “We’re on.” If you really want to make your opponent nervous, throw back your head and belly-laugh.
Step 4: Watch and wait. Using good sportsman-like conduct (see this page ), allow whatever event you just bet on to transpire. You may cheer on your contender (even if it’s you), but do be gracious enough to refrain from trash-talking your opponent. It’s just bad form.
Step 5: Reconcile your bet. Regardless of the stakes you set, remember that you’ve already put something even more valuable on the line: your reputation. If you’ve lost, pay up and offer the winner another handshake and even a few kind words, if you can muster them. If you’ve won, collect your winnings and thank your worthy opponent.
More Handy Tips
Bet for fun, not to prove a point. There is a difference between making a friendly wager once in a while and being a know-it-all who just wants to be right. If you find yourself often saying, “Oh, yeah? Wanna bet?”—stop talking and listen. If you don’t, odds are you won’t have too many friends after a while.
Before wagering any money, always consider the gentleman’s bet. The winner receives respect and satisfaction, while the loser must endure the shame of choosing poorly.
Gamble only in moderation. Placing bets once in a while is perfectly fine, but if you find yourself obsessing over your wagers, taking too many risks, or losing sleep over your habit, seek help at www.gamblersanonymous.org .
5
Thriving
• • •
Practice good health every day, and you’ll live longer and be happier. It’s that simple .
Get Smooth
• • •
“I have such tender skin. After I shave, I put on the aftershave. It smells so good. Then I walk over to my wife, I lean over her, and I rub my cheek against her face on each side. Then I sneak in a little smooch. That’s the routine every time I shave. I know if I keep shaving, I can keep rubbing cheeks with her.”
—J OE T OTH
H OW TO G ET THE P ERFECT S HAVE
Step 1: Wake yourself up.
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