September.
Have a wonderful summer!
----
----
IF MY FATHER WERE PRESIDENT
BY J OSEPH M ARGOLIS
If my father were president, I think he would be a very good
I think my father would make a really good president because
If my father shot Nana Bert then he might make a good president, but only if
How the Hell should I know what kind of a president my father would make? Most of the time I donât even know where he is .
If my father were president, he would sit in the Oval Office and
----
----
Temple Chizuk Amuno
1243 Parkside Avenue ⢠Brooklyn, New York
Charles Banks
227 West 94th Street, Apt. 14-A
New York, New York
Dear Charles:
Thank you for your generous invitation to attend Josephâs birthday gathering. However, my wife and I keep a strictly Kosher home and Iâm afraid a supper club is a little out of our league. But Iâm sure it will mean a great deal to Joseph.
Of course I know youâre not going to convert.Thirteen-year-old boys have been attempting to hoodwink me since 1919, and there are few such scams I have not encountered beforeâthough I must admit that this one earns high marks for originality. But letâs allow him to think heâs getting away with it.
Donât be alarmed by Tuesdayâs lesson, for I am confident that Joseph will do well. I suspect he is merely testing youâand winning. Of course, you could always find a way to turn the tables on him; however, I am willing to wager a Kiddush cup that he is even more stubborn than you are.
Good luck. This is shaping up to be quite a contest.
Respectfully,
Rabbi Morris Lieberman
----
I NTERVIEWER: Donald M. Weston, Ph.D.
S UBJECT: Joseph Charles Margolis
A: It was the best birthday I ever had. Charlie and Hazel took us to Delmonicoâs for dinner. The whole world was there. Aunt Carrie even got a kiss from Robert Montgomery.
Q: Iâll bet that changed her mind about Charlie, huh?
A: Not all the way. She doesnât call him a shagitz any more, but every time she starts to call him Charlie her mouth gets stuck. This is gunna take a little work.
Q: Did you see Winchellâs column?
A: Yeah. He spelled my name wrong, though. And he said we live in Queens, not Brooklyn. Heâs a troublemaker.
Q: How so?
A: Ethel Merman was at the next table and he kept trying to start a fistfight between her and Hazel. Then Charlie tripped him and he went away.
Q: Good for Charlie. Hazelâs too much of a trouper to fall for that anyway.
A: No she isnât. She talked to the waiter for a long time and gave him some money, and somehow Ethel Merman wound up with a Diet Special instead of steak and a baked potato. You could hear her on Madison Avenue. Boy, she screams loud.
Q: Some people call that singing. I never understood it myself.
A: Then we went to Tuxedo Junction. Hazel sang âMy Funny Valentineâ right to me, and then I went on the stage with her and we did the âI Like New York In Juneâ song just like Mickey Rooney and Judy Garland do it in Babes on Broadway . We practiced it for a whole week so we could surprise everybody. Smokes, me and my Mom signed more autographs than Charlie did.
Q: Did you get a lot of presents?
A: You bet. My mother bought me a watch with an aviator dial and Aunt Carrie got me a black zipper jacket that says GIANTS on the back and Craig got me The Shadowâs Secret Code Book and Hazel gave me a little Victrola with all of Glenn Millerâs records, especially âString of Pearlsâ and âIn the Mood.â
Q: What about Charlie?
A: He asked me what I wanted and I told him Citizen Kane at the Radio City Music Hall, but he said he could do a lot better than that. Just between you and me I think heâs gunna buy me a saxophone because he hates it when I get spit all over his.
Q: I could be wrong, but Iâd look out for a different kind of surprise if I were you.
----
Dear Joey,
Me and Stuke and Mel Ott and Burge Whitehead
Have a wonderful summer!
----
----
IF MY FATHER WERE PRESIDENT
BY J OSEPH M ARGOLIS
If my father were president, I think he would be a very good
I think my father would make a really good president because
If my father shot Nana Bert then he might make a good president, but only if
How the Hell should I know what kind of a president my father would make? Most of the time I donât even know where he is .
If my father were president, he would sit in the Oval Office and
----
----
Temple Chizuk Amuno
1243 Parkside Avenue ⢠Brooklyn, New York
Charles Banks
227 West 94th Street, Apt. 14-A
New York, New York
Dear Charles:
Thank you for your generous invitation to attend Josephâs birthday gathering. However, my wife and I keep a strictly Kosher home and Iâm afraid a supper club is a little out of our league. But Iâm sure it will mean a great deal to Joseph.
Of course I know youâre not going to convert.Thirteen-year-old boys have been attempting to hoodwink me since 1919, and there are few such scams I have not encountered beforeâthough I must admit that this one earns high marks for originality. But letâs allow him to think heâs getting away with it.
Donât be alarmed by Tuesdayâs lesson, for I am confident that Joseph will do well. I suspect he is merely testing youâand winning. Of course, you could always find a way to turn the tables on him; however, I am willing to wager a Kiddush cup that he is even more stubborn than you are.
Good luck. This is shaping up to be quite a contest.
Respectfully,
Rabbi Morris Lieberman
----
I NTERVIEWER: Donald M. Weston, Ph.D.
S UBJECT: Joseph Charles Margolis
A: It was the best birthday I ever had. Charlie and Hazel took us to Delmonicoâs for dinner. The whole world was there. Aunt Carrie even got a kiss from Robert Montgomery.
Q: Iâll bet that changed her mind about Charlie, huh?
A: Not all the way. She doesnât call him a shagitz any more, but every time she starts to call him Charlie her mouth gets stuck. This is gunna take a little work.
Q: Did you see Winchellâs column?
A: Yeah. He spelled my name wrong, though. And he said we live in Queens, not Brooklyn. Heâs a troublemaker.
Q: How so?
A: Ethel Merman was at the next table and he kept trying to start a fistfight between her and Hazel. Then Charlie tripped him and he went away.
Q: Good for Charlie. Hazelâs too much of a trouper to fall for that anyway.
A: No she isnât. She talked to the waiter for a long time and gave him some money, and somehow Ethel Merman wound up with a Diet Special instead of steak and a baked potato. You could hear her on Madison Avenue. Boy, she screams loud.
Q: Some people call that singing. I never understood it myself.
A: Then we went to Tuxedo Junction. Hazel sang âMy Funny Valentineâ right to me, and then I went on the stage with her and we did the âI Like New York In Juneâ song just like Mickey Rooney and Judy Garland do it in Babes on Broadway . We practiced it for a whole week so we could surprise everybody. Smokes, me and my Mom signed more autographs than Charlie did.
Q: Did you get a lot of presents?
A: You bet. My mother bought me a watch with an aviator dial and Aunt Carrie got me a black zipper jacket that says GIANTS on the back and Craig got me The Shadowâs Secret Code Book and Hazel gave me a little Victrola with all of Glenn Millerâs records, especially âString of Pearlsâ and âIn the Mood.â
Q: What about Charlie?
A: He asked me what I wanted and I told him Citizen Kane at the Radio City Music Hall, but he said he could do a lot better than that. Just between you and me I think heâs gunna buy me a saxophone because he hates it when I get spit all over his.
Q: I could be wrong, but Iâd look out for a different kind of surprise if I were you.
----
Dear Joey,
Me and Stuke and Mel Ott and Burge Whitehead
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