reactive, out of my control. “Do you know what I…” I swallowed. “Do you remember what I did?”
“Remember my last minutes in that life, you mean?”
My answer came out broken, filled with emotion. “Ye-es.”
“I do,” she said gently.
“I led them to you…and you forgive me?” I couldn’t understand how. The horror I had no doubt she had endured…
“A moment of pain for an eternity of this…” She swept her hand across the landscape. “I have no regrets, Magdalene. Not a single one.”
“But I caused you pain,” I argued.
“You didn’t,” she said firmly, in the way she had on earth. “They did.”
It didn’t feel that way.
“None of us regret it, Magdalene. Your sister, your brother, your father.”
Breathless now, I cried out, “Oh no, no…” None of them had survived…
I lowered my head and covered my face with my hands.
“Don’t waste time agonizing over us,” she counseled. “They are just as content as I am.” She paused. “Magdalene, look at me.” It was a struggle, but I did. “You are still a good girl, but now you are a different kind of good. You have a gift. Use it and be who you are meant to be. Don’t waste another moment of regret on us. Do you understand?”
Slowly, fighting the repressive feelings that had pinched my neck taut, I asked, “Did the Kohlers mention where they might go af-after?”
She gave me a stern look, the kind I saw so often on earth. “You won’t avenge me.”
It was a command, one that she wanted enforced.
I couldn’t seem to release the single word answer.
“Magdalene?” she pressed.
“No,” I said, irritated at what I was agreeing to. “I won’t avenge you.”
“They’ve gone west to the insurrections. One of them shouted it after…when they were finished.”
I nodded slowly. “Thank you.”
With a great amount of willpower, I extended my appendages wide. And she smiled. A single pump carried me upward, but I was stopped by her voice.
“Magdalene,” she called out and waited for me to turn around. “As a messenger, you have a strength that will protect you from them. Find it.”
That simple suggestion was what did it. It came to me in a flash, that understanding Eran had been seeking. He wanted to know what caused the pain between me and the Kohlers. My mind raced back to every time I’d felt it, ending at the climactic moment when they threatened my life.
And I understood then the mother I knew on earth had given me one last bit of wisdom. She was correct. I did have a particular strength that would keep me safe. Those feelings were my warning of approaching danger.
“When you awake, where will you be?” she asked.
“Home.”
She seemed pleased to know it. “When you do, look under my chair near the hearth.”
“I will. For what?”
“Something I’ve been making for you. Something that will keep you safe…because I will no longer be able to do it myself.” She lifted her head as she added, “It’s my finest work yet.”
I spent the remainder of the night visiting the rest of my family. They were just as she had mentioned, contentedly enjoying their return to the afterlife. The memory of what they had gone through was just that, a faded recollection. When I was yanked back to earth and found the sunlight slipping through the window, I felt thankful. That feeling was swept away the moment I saw the blood stains on the floor.
Picking myself up, I walked to the chair and peered underneath. There was only a sewing basket and a black bundle wrapped on top of it. I withdrew it and held it out. It unrolled and I found what the woman who had been my mother had done. She had made me a suit, a warrior’s tunic made of thick black fabric and loops to hold weapons.
My mouth fell open.
She knew that I was the messenger. She had known all along. Of course… Symon. He must have discovered it and told the only other person in our family who could keep a secret. I also knew with an unsettling
“Remember my last minutes in that life, you mean?”
My answer came out broken, filled with emotion. “Ye-es.”
“I do,” she said gently.
“I led them to you…and you forgive me?” I couldn’t understand how. The horror I had no doubt she had endured…
“A moment of pain for an eternity of this…” She swept her hand across the landscape. “I have no regrets, Magdalene. Not a single one.”
“But I caused you pain,” I argued.
“You didn’t,” she said firmly, in the way she had on earth. “They did.”
It didn’t feel that way.
“None of us regret it, Magdalene. Your sister, your brother, your father.”
Breathless now, I cried out, “Oh no, no…” None of them had survived…
I lowered my head and covered my face with my hands.
“Don’t waste time agonizing over us,” she counseled. “They are just as content as I am.” She paused. “Magdalene, look at me.” It was a struggle, but I did. “You are still a good girl, but now you are a different kind of good. You have a gift. Use it and be who you are meant to be. Don’t waste another moment of regret on us. Do you understand?”
Slowly, fighting the repressive feelings that had pinched my neck taut, I asked, “Did the Kohlers mention where they might go af-after?”
She gave me a stern look, the kind I saw so often on earth. “You won’t avenge me.”
It was a command, one that she wanted enforced.
I couldn’t seem to release the single word answer.
“Magdalene?” she pressed.
“No,” I said, irritated at what I was agreeing to. “I won’t avenge you.”
“They’ve gone west to the insurrections. One of them shouted it after…when they were finished.”
I nodded slowly. “Thank you.”
With a great amount of willpower, I extended my appendages wide. And she smiled. A single pump carried me upward, but I was stopped by her voice.
“Magdalene,” she called out and waited for me to turn around. “As a messenger, you have a strength that will protect you from them. Find it.”
That simple suggestion was what did it. It came to me in a flash, that understanding Eran had been seeking. He wanted to know what caused the pain between me and the Kohlers. My mind raced back to every time I’d felt it, ending at the climactic moment when they threatened my life.
And I understood then the mother I knew on earth had given me one last bit of wisdom. She was correct. I did have a particular strength that would keep me safe. Those feelings were my warning of approaching danger.
“When you awake, where will you be?” she asked.
“Home.”
She seemed pleased to know it. “When you do, look under my chair near the hearth.”
“I will. For what?”
“Something I’ve been making for you. Something that will keep you safe…because I will no longer be able to do it myself.” She lifted her head as she added, “It’s my finest work yet.”
I spent the remainder of the night visiting the rest of my family. They were just as she had mentioned, contentedly enjoying their return to the afterlife. The memory of what they had gone through was just that, a faded recollection. When I was yanked back to earth and found the sunlight slipping through the window, I felt thankful. That feeling was swept away the moment I saw the blood stains on the floor.
Picking myself up, I walked to the chair and peered underneath. There was only a sewing basket and a black bundle wrapped on top of it. I withdrew it and held it out. It unrolled and I found what the woman who had been my mother had done. She had made me a suit, a warrior’s tunic made of thick black fabric and loops to hold weapons.
My mouth fell open.
She knew that I was the messenger. She had known all along. Of course… Symon. He must have discovered it and told the only other person in our family who could keep a secret. I also knew with an unsettling
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