Pig City by Louis Sachar Page A

here,
all I could eat
. What does she think I’m going to do? Eat this stuff right out of the jar?”
    â€œShe told me the same thing,” said Nathan.
    â€œShe eats peanut butter out of the jar, too,” said Laura.
    All the mustard was set down on the coffee table, some in jars and some in plastic bags.
    â€œSo what’s the plan?” asked Debbie.
    â€œWe can rub it in their hair,” suggested Nathan.
    â€œStick it in their shoes!” laughed Allison.
    â€œAnd their desks,” said Aaron.
    â€œDown their pants,” said Tiffany. She lay flopped across the purple bean bag chair.
    Laura sat still in the swinging chair. “We’re going to
divide
and
conquer
!” she said.
    Nobody looked very impressed. Laura was a little disappointed, but she knew they’d like her plan once they heard all the details.
    â€œOkay. First, we have to learn our song,” she said. “Do you have it, Kristin?”
    Kristin nodded. She was so nervous, she hadn’t said a word since she arrived.
    â€œWell, let’s hear it!” said Tiffany.
    Kristin stood next to the television. “See, since it’s our national anthem, I wanted to make it sound patriotic.”
    â€œThat’s good!” said Nathan.
    â€œSo, it’s the same tune as ‘Yankee Doodle.’” She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, opened her eyes, and sang:
    â€œ
Laura Sibbie went to class.
    Her hair was long and pretty.
    Stuck a feather in her cap,
    And called it Pig City!”
    She smiled, then took another breath.
    â€œ
Pig City is the best!
    Monkey Town is mustard!
    They’re uglier than Mr. West,
    And mushier than custard!”
    She blushed. “That’s it.”
    Everyone clapped their hands.
    â€œThat’s great, Kristin!” said Nathan.
    â€œIt’s a lot better than the Monkey Town song!” said Allison.
    â€œIt’s the best song I ever heard,” said Aaron.
    Kristin beamed.
    Wait till Gabriel hears that! thought Laura.
    â€œWho’s Mr. West?” asked Tiffany.
    â€œWho?” asked Aaron.
    â€œShe sang they were uglier than Mr. West,” said Tiffany. “So, who’s Mr. West?”
    â€œOh,” said Kristin.
    â€œWho is he?” asked Debbie.
    â€œI don’t know,” Kristin admitted. “I couldn’t think of anything else to rhyme with ‘best.’ Do you think it matters?”
    â€œNo, there’s probably a Mr. West somewhere who’s ugly,” said Nathan.
    â€œThat’s what I thought,” said Kristin.
    â€œIt’s a common last name,” Tiffany agreed.
    They all agreed it didn’t matter. They memorized the words, then rehearsed it until they could sing it perfectly. Every time they finished, somebody would shout, “One more time!”
    â€œ
Laura Sibbie went to class.
    Her hair was long and pretty.
    Stuck a –”
    The door burst open.
    â€œNow!” Gabriel hollered. He was standing in the doorway without a shirt. In his hands he held the lawn sprinkler, turned off and pointed away from him. The water shot out. “All the way!” he yelled.
    The members of Pig City scrambled over each other and onto the bed against the wall. It was safe there. The water didn’t quite reach that far and the hose was stretched as far as it would go. Gabriel was the only one who got wet.
    In the backyard, Monkey Town sang:
    â€œ
Monkey Town! (clap-clap)
    Monkey Town! (clap-clap)
    We’re the greatest club around! (clap-clap)
    Chicken Pigs! (clap-clap)
    Chicken Pigs! (clap-clap)
    They lay eggs and suck on figs!”
    Gabriel set the sprinkler down just inside the clubhouse door, then jumped back, out of the spray of the water. “Let’s go!” he shouted.
    The singing stopped.
    Pig City were huddled together on the bed. “Somebody get that thing out of here!” shouted Laura.
    She was against the wall, behind Kristin, who was behind Aaron.