siobhan vivian - not that kind of girl by Siobhan Vivian Page A

Biddle," Ms. Bee recited from her folding chair, her pencil scratching against a clipboard. "How could we have missed you?" I felt like Ms. Bee had made the joke for my benefit, but really, I couldn't laugh. Spencer scurried over to meet up with the rest of her friends. There were about fifty girls present, plus the Rosstitutes and a few other student council girls that I guilted into coming. I had hoped more would have signed up, but I guess Mike Domski scared them away with his disgusting jokes. Still, it was a halfway decent turn out. "All right, Natalie," Ms. Bee said, "I think you can get started. I'm going to be in my office for a while, catching up on some paperwork. Plus, I think if I'm not around, the girls might be more inclined to open up and discuss things." "Great. I'll grab Spencer and--" "Natalie, I'd like you to be more of the facilitator tonight. I know Spencer helped in the planning, but this is your wonderful idea. And you have the leadership experience. I don't want tonight devolving into some tittering sleepover. You've got actual, important work to do." I nodded. "Sure. Of course." I walked across the gym to where everyone was mingling. It felt strange to be in pajamas at school, especially because, unlike Spencer, I wore what I actually slept in. My dad's old hospital scrubs used to be maroon, but they'd turned a lighter pink, having been washed so many times. I also had on a white tank, an oversize hooded zip-up, and my slippers. I paced the bleachers and gave the girls a chance to quiet down. "Okay. Hey, everyone, thanks for coming tonight. We've got a lot of snacks and munchies that we'll tear into later, but I wanted to go over a few things first." I took a deep breath, and made sure to smile. That's when Spencer stepped right in front of me. "I have a statement I'd like to make, before we get started. I want everyone to feel like this is a safe place for us to talk about what's been going on, to share our feelings and thoughts. This should be a judgment-free zone." I smiled over at Ms. Bee, who headed out of the gym. "Of course, Spencer. That's a great point." I pulled Spencer close and whispered, "Why don't I get things started and then you can take over?" Spencer looked confused. And maybe a bit wounded. I nudged my chin toward an empty seat in the bleachers. "Don't worry." Spencer sat next to Autumn. Begrudgingly. "I think the perfect place to begin tonight is to discuss what happened in the senior hallway two weeks ago." I'd barely finished before Spencer's hand shot straight up. I stared over her fingertips. "I expect lots of you have different thoughts and opinions and I want to make sure we hear from everyone." Spencer started bouncing on her butt, waving her hand wildly. The more I tried to ignore her, the harder she tried to be noticed. "Spencer? Why don't you start us off?" Spencer stood up and faced the crowd. "I have to say, I felt shocked by people's reactions to the T-shirts. I mean, why aren't girls allowed or encouraged to show their sexuality?" "I don't think what you were doing was sexy," I told Spencer as gently as I could. "You were trying to get attention." Spencer smiled. "See? That's what I mean. That's what we should be talking about tonight! Boys can mess around and do whatever they want to without consequence. But not us girls. We're not allowed to have sexual needs." "Sexual needs? Are you serious? You're fourteen." "I don't know what my age has to do with anything." Spencer pursed her lips. "I'm sensing a lot of negativity coming from you, Natalie. Isn't this supposed to be a judgment-free zone?" "Okay, let's all calm down." Which sounded ridiculous, because Spencer and I were the only ones getting heated.

    "Look, I don't do things I'm not comfortable with. I am always in control. And anyway, what right is it for anyone else to tell me what I can and can't do with my body? I won't be villainized because I happen to like being sexual. I'm not going to be embarrassed. It