Stranger in Camelot by Deborah Smith Page B

wearily, tearing at a snarl in the red strands. “But go ahead.”
    He twisted a little so he could watch her expression. “Only a man you cared enough about to marry could turn you into such a loner. What did your husband do to you?”
    A shuttered look came over her face, and her eyes filled with doubt as they searched his. John cupped the side of her face and made a soothing sound low in his throat. “I’m not going to judge you by anyone else’s faults. If I were that kind of bastard, I’d have turned away from you when Mrs. Roberts made her stupid little remarks about you. But I’m not a narrow-minded fool.”
    Tears rose in her eyes. “I guess you wouldn’t settle for learning my favorite flavor of ice cream? It’s vanilla. Vanilla’s simple, classic, and it doesn’t surprise you. No matter how it’s made, vanilla’s always about the same.”
    “Agnes,” he said sternly.
    She sighed and faced the ocean again. “It’s true about him being a drug dealer. Big-time. Upper-management level,” she added bitterly. “Never got his hands or his respectable image dirty.”
    “When did you find out?”
    “Not long before he was arrested. We’d been married for about three years.”
    “He didn’t use drugs himself?”
    “At parties, sometimes.” She hesitated, a muscle popping in her jaw, then added, “So did I.”
    “Were you addicted?”
    “No, nothing that awful. I wanted to fit in. It wasn’t cool to say no. And to be honest, I was so depressed about who I was that I wanted something to make me feel better.”
    He put a hand on the back of her neck and massagedthe sinew that made a thick ridge there. “Who were you, then?”
    “An ex-child star nobody recognized anymore. A bargain-basement actress who wasn’t trained to be anything else. I’d worked in the business since I was a baby , for godsakes. When I couldn’t get jobs anymore, I felt lost and worthless. I tried going to college, but I couldn’t hack the routine.”
    “You’re a smart, disciplined person. I can’t believe you dropped out of college simply because it was difficult.”
    “But see, I didn’t know how to adjust to classrooms and strict schedules and all those things. I never went to high school!”
    “You can’t mean you never got an education.”
    “No, I have a high school diploma. But I never had a high school. Tutors were hired to teach me while I worked. On breaks during the day. That was the only time I had for school. By comparison, college was too slow for me. Boring.”
    “I can’t picture you failing at college because of laziness.”
    “Okay, okay, there were a lot of reasons. But I could have tried harder.”
    “What held you back?”
    “I spent too much time running after Richard, doing whatever he wanted. He didn’t like me being preoccupied with college. He never saw the point in getting more education when you already have money. He complained so much about my schedule, I quit.”
    “Richard, eh? I’m glad to know his name. Now he isn’t an anonymous face in my mind. I can picture him.”
    “Oh? What do you think he looks like?”
    “He has fangs, pasty skin, and he turns into a bat each night.”
    She gave a short laugh. “If nothing else, you described his personality.”
    “Tell me more about this vampire.”
    “He owned a real-estate company. Sold expensive houses to expensive people. He was about ten years older than I and very sophisticated. He wore designer suits, spent money like there was no tomorrow, and made me feel important even though I wasn’t a TV star anymore.”
    “I suspect you needed him for the wrong reasons, reasons you didn’t understand until you were older.”
    “No, I can’t blame my mistakes on being too young. I was twenty-two when I married him, but the way I grew up, that wasn’t young. I spent my whole childhood working as a professional actor. I was expected to be a pint-sized adult. I grew up too fast.”
    “Precisely. You never had a normal life.