Surrender by June Gray Page A

reason.
    â€œYou should definitely visit Dallas,” I said, pressing my lip to the very heart of the bird.
    â€œJust say the word,” he said, twisting around to face me. “But I have to stop in Kansas first. I have to get something from storage.”
    â€œWhat’s that?”
    He shook his head, tangling our fingers together. “Just some stuff.” He studied my hand, playing with my fingers. His gaze caught on my ring finger. “Have you ever been married before?” he suddenly asked.
    I let out a long breath. “Yes.”
    He nodded, urging me to go on.
    â€œI was married once, to a good man. But it didn’t last.”
    â€œWhy not?”
    â€œBecause I married him for the wrong reasons. I married him out of loneliness.” I could have told Neal about my son in that moment, to explain why I’d felt I needed a husband to begin with, but the words stuck in my throat. The truth was, I was still afraid. “He also grew to resent me for getting my tubes tied. He wanted children, I guess.”
    â€œAnd you don’t?”
    I pursed my lips and shook my head, searching for the courage to just tell him about Will. But I guess that’s the thing when you care about someone, you start to care about what they think of you. “What about you? Have you ever been married?”
    â€œI almost proposed to my girlfriend once after I got back from deployment.”
    â€œOh, that’s a pity . . .” His words took a moment to sink in, and then my head was spinning and I felt like I was about to faint.
    â€œBut come to find out, she’d cheated on me while I was away and didn’t even have the decency to break up with—” He stopped and peered into my face. “Are you okay?”
    I scrambled for my champagne flute and took a large gulp, trying to clear the clog in my throat. Suddenly it became clear to me, the eagle tattoo, the reason he knew Henry. I couldn’t believe I never saw it before. “You’re in the military?”
    â€œI was Air Force but now I’m in the reserves.” He spoke slowly as if afraid to spook me.
    â€œWhy didn’t you tell me before?”
    He shrugged as he shook his head. “I thought you knew. I thought maybe Henry or Elsie had told you.”
    â€œNo, they didn’t.” I got off the bed and began to gather my clothes from around the room.
    â€œWhat’s wrong?” he asked, getting to his feet. “Why are you packing?”
    â€œI can’t . . .” I stopped and took a deep breath, trying to contain the disappointment that was threatening to surge out of my eyes. “I’m sorry. I can’t see you anymore.”
    â€œBecause I’m in the military?”
    â€œBasically.” I stuffed my clothes in my bag, not bothering to fold them. I needed out of here before I did something even more stupid, like give him all of me.
    He grabbed my hand and wrenched the bag out of my grasp. “Julie, stop,” he said in a commanding tone. “Stop and talk to me. What’s wrong with being in the military?”
    I tried to retrieve my bag, but he held it away from my reach. “I have my reasons,” I said between my teeth. “Give it back.”
    He turned my bag upside down over the bed, its contents tumbling all over the mattress. “You’re not leaving until you give me a valid reason.” When I lunged for my clothes, he grabbed my wrists and pulled me close. “Talk to me.”
    I bit my lower lip to keep it from trembling, but there was no hiding the regret in my eyes. “You know why, Neal,” I finally said.
    His fingers dug into my skin. “Because of your dead fiancé?”
    I nodded, averting my eyes. If I looked at him one more second, I might cry. “As much as I like you, I can’t get attached if there’s even a chance that you’ll go out there and die. I can’t go through