halfway inhabitable. Still, we just couldn’t pass up the opportunity to move to where theaction is—what with the International World Record Federation honoring your back-to-back wins at the championships by holding them in your city this year, alongside the Unsafe Sports Showdown. Seems this is the place to be for record breaking these days, eh? Luckily, the heavy machinery arrives tomorrow, so it won’t be long before we’re all moved in and joining you for neighborhood gatherings!”
“I say, that is exciting news,” beamed Mrs. Whipple. “Do you intend on competing in any events now that you’re here?”
Rex smiled bashfully. “We’d certainly be honored—if they’d have us. But of course, up till now, record breaking has only ever been a private hobby of ours. We’ve never publicly competed as a family before, and I myself haven’t competed in years—so we’re really only just getting our feet wet. For a while there, it did seem we might make the deadline for championships eligibility tonight, but I’m afraid we’ve ended up just a couple of records short of the required thousand.”
“Well now,” said Arthur’s mother, “that’s nothing to be sneezed at, Mr. Goldwin. We scarcely made that number ourselves! I’d say your record tally is absolutely spectacular for a family of beginners—even if you won’t be eligible this year. I’m sure you’ll have no trouble at all gaining eligibility for the next championships, if you keep at it. My,” she chuckled, “we’ll have to watch our backs, won’t we, Charles?”
“Indeed,” Mr. Whipple said gruffly. “Now, I do apologize, Mr. and Mrs. Goldwin, but we really must be getting back to the party….”
“Oh, of course, Charlie,” Rex replied. “And what a lovely party it is. Fine food, distinguished company…though I must say the band’s a bit of an odd choice.” Nodding at Johnny Stump, he chuckled, “Really, Charlie—I do hope you only paid
half
price!”
“Why, Mr. Goldwin!” laughed Arthur’s mother. “I’ll have to share that one with Mr. Stump—he gets quite a kick out of that sort of thing.”
“Oh, but Mrs. Whipple,” Rex grinned, “surely he doesn’t do any
kicking
at all!”
“Ahem,” Arthur’s father scowled, curtailing any further laughter. “As I was saying, I’m afraid we are neglecting our other guests, as well as a number of vital birthday duties, so—”
“Say no more, Charlie,” said Rex. “Again—terribly sorry about any mix-up with our invitation. I’d hate to cause any distress on your special day. Just say the word and we’ll head straight back to the hotel.”
“Oh, we wouldn’t dream of it—would we, Charles?” Mrs. Whipple asked without looking at her husband.
Mr. Whipple sighed.
“Do stay,” implored Mrs. Whipple.
“You are very gracious indeed,” said Rex Goldwin. “Now, please—get back to your party. I’m sure we’ll be seeing plenty of each other from now on—eh, neighbors?”
“Most certainly,” Mrs. Whipple smiled. “Let us know assoon as you’re settled. Now enjoy the rest of your evening.”
Mr. Whipple let out another tortured sigh. Mrs. Whipple shot him a stern glance.
Arthur’s parents gathered up their birthday-celebrating children and led them off to perform their next vital birthday duty, leaving Arthur to wait awkwardly beside his uncle. He now stood only a few feet from Ruby Goldwin, who clearly was not, nor ever had been, a ghost—but merely a girl with peculiar fashion tastes whose parents had purchased the house down the street. The terror Arthur had once felt in her presence now turned to embarrassment.
But before he could persuade his uncle to take him somewhere—
anywhere
—else, Uncle Mervyn, who had been listening in just outside the conversation with the new neighbors, stepped forward and introduced himself to Rex Goldwin.
“Mervyn McCleary,” said Arthur’s uncle, shaking Rex’s hand. “Adjudicator for the International
“I say, that is exciting news,” beamed Mrs. Whipple. “Do you intend on competing in any events now that you’re here?”
Rex smiled bashfully. “We’d certainly be honored—if they’d have us. But of course, up till now, record breaking has only ever been a private hobby of ours. We’ve never publicly competed as a family before, and I myself haven’t competed in years—so we’re really only just getting our feet wet. For a while there, it did seem we might make the deadline for championships eligibility tonight, but I’m afraid we’ve ended up just a couple of records short of the required thousand.”
“Well now,” said Arthur’s mother, “that’s nothing to be sneezed at, Mr. Goldwin. We scarcely made that number ourselves! I’d say your record tally is absolutely spectacular for a family of beginners—even if you won’t be eligible this year. I’m sure you’ll have no trouble at all gaining eligibility for the next championships, if you keep at it. My,” she chuckled, “we’ll have to watch our backs, won’t we, Charles?”
“Indeed,” Mr. Whipple said gruffly. “Now, I do apologize, Mr. and Mrs. Goldwin, but we really must be getting back to the party….”
“Oh, of course, Charlie,” Rex replied. “And what a lovely party it is. Fine food, distinguished company…though I must say the band’s a bit of an odd choice.” Nodding at Johnny Stump, he chuckled, “Really, Charlie—I do hope you only paid
half
price!”
“Why, Mr. Goldwin!” laughed Arthur’s mother. “I’ll have to share that one with Mr. Stump—he gets quite a kick out of that sort of thing.”
“Oh, but Mrs. Whipple,” Rex grinned, “surely he doesn’t do any
kicking
at all!”
“Ahem,” Arthur’s father scowled, curtailing any further laughter. “As I was saying, I’m afraid we are neglecting our other guests, as well as a number of vital birthday duties, so—”
“Say no more, Charlie,” said Rex. “Again—terribly sorry about any mix-up with our invitation. I’d hate to cause any distress on your special day. Just say the word and we’ll head straight back to the hotel.”
“Oh, we wouldn’t dream of it—would we, Charles?” Mrs. Whipple asked without looking at her husband.
Mr. Whipple sighed.
“Do stay,” implored Mrs. Whipple.
“You are very gracious indeed,” said Rex Goldwin. “Now, please—get back to your party. I’m sure we’ll be seeing plenty of each other from now on—eh, neighbors?”
“Most certainly,” Mrs. Whipple smiled. “Let us know assoon as you’re settled. Now enjoy the rest of your evening.”
Mr. Whipple let out another tortured sigh. Mrs. Whipple shot him a stern glance.
Arthur’s parents gathered up their birthday-celebrating children and led them off to perform their next vital birthday duty, leaving Arthur to wait awkwardly beside his uncle. He now stood only a few feet from Ruby Goldwin, who clearly was not, nor ever had been, a ghost—but merely a girl with peculiar fashion tastes whose parents had purchased the house down the street. The terror Arthur had once felt in her presence now turned to embarrassment.
But before he could persuade his uncle to take him somewhere—
anywhere
—else, Uncle Mervyn, who had been listening in just outside the conversation with the new neighbors, stepped forward and introduced himself to Rex Goldwin.
“Mervyn McCleary,” said Arthur’s uncle, shaking Rex’s hand. “Adjudicator for the International
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