are insurmountable sexual differences between males and females, but while there are some sexual differences, they are not significant enough to matter for our purposes. Social differences, however, create the
illusion
that there are big biological differences: When females are more prone to avoid the subject of sex than males (as they are pressured to do so), society adopts the idea that females are less interested in sex, and almost all males who are unsuccessful with women believe this is the case.
That women are supposedly less interested in sex is often communicated indirectly by insinuations, phrased in terms of males being more interested in sex, if not completely obsessed about it.And when females are pressured to avoid responsibility for sex and are taught to feign disinterest and play hard to get, they inevitably create the impression that they are less sexual, that their sexual desires are lower, and that their sexual fantasies are less frequent than those of males.
Nevertheless, females are not less interested in sex than males are; they are just more cautious and more concerned about appearing cautious, even if that includes downplaying their sexual interest, rounding down the number of sexual partners they have had, or lying about how often they think about sex when asked in surveys. Their sexual drive is equal to that of males and may even seem
higher
when it is unleashed after having been suppressed, something that men who are good with women happily discovered long ago.
This is essential to understand because you will not be successful with women if you hide your sexual interest in them, if you are unable to make them feel sexy, and if you are unable to arouse them sexually — things you will have a hard time doing if you believe that sex is not something women want or if you are ashamed of your sexual desires.
Any shame you feel indicates that you consider other people’s opinion more important than your own and has to be dealt with, and if it is evident in sexual circumstances you have to deal with it as soon as possible. If you check women out but look away when they notice you doing it, if your face turns red whenever sex comes up, if you’d rather walk around than straight through the lingerie section, if you leave the room or lower your voice when your girlfriend calls you, or if buying condoms takes more effort than buying anything else, you have to get over it. And the only way to do that is to challenge rather than avoid those kinds of uncomfortable situations. For starters, you should read this bookin a
public
place, such as on the bus to school, on the subway to work, or at the café you go to on the weekends, if that is what you would normally do but
somehow
decided not to this time. If you always read books in the privacy of your own home, make an exception this time and go out to read.
Challenge yourself! No one else will do it for you.
You have to become shameless so that you are able to do whatever you want to do, whatever needs to be done, even if some people generally would avoid it and label it as embarrassing. If
they
want to make themselves feel bad, fine. Let them have it. Some people actually do feel embarrassed about what other people do; that is how strong the effects of social conditioning can be, but this only proves that some of our feelings have
nothing
to do with our own experience.
Shame and pride are on opposite sides of the same spectrum, and proud of yourself is something that you should be. But never boast and brag about yourself because that means that you are still concerned with what other people think of you and still consider their opinion more highly than your own (you are submissive). Let go of such ideas, and if others let you know that you ought to be ashamed of anything, do not yield to their reality. Be confident!
Unyielding
To be dominant means to have an unyielding personality, to have personal integrity. To be stubborn, but with a smile on your face
illusion
that there are big biological differences: When females are more prone to avoid the subject of sex than males (as they are pressured to do so), society adopts the idea that females are less interested in sex, and almost all males who are unsuccessful with women believe this is the case.
That women are supposedly less interested in sex is often communicated indirectly by insinuations, phrased in terms of males being more interested in sex, if not completely obsessed about it.And when females are pressured to avoid responsibility for sex and are taught to feign disinterest and play hard to get, they inevitably create the impression that they are less sexual, that their sexual desires are lower, and that their sexual fantasies are less frequent than those of males.
Nevertheless, females are not less interested in sex than males are; they are just more cautious and more concerned about appearing cautious, even if that includes downplaying their sexual interest, rounding down the number of sexual partners they have had, or lying about how often they think about sex when asked in surveys. Their sexual drive is equal to that of males and may even seem
higher
when it is unleashed after having been suppressed, something that men who are good with women happily discovered long ago.
This is essential to understand because you will not be successful with women if you hide your sexual interest in them, if you are unable to make them feel sexy, and if you are unable to arouse them sexually — things you will have a hard time doing if you believe that sex is not something women want or if you are ashamed of your sexual desires.
Any shame you feel indicates that you consider other people’s opinion more important than your own and has to be dealt with, and if it is evident in sexual circumstances you have to deal with it as soon as possible. If you check women out but look away when they notice you doing it, if your face turns red whenever sex comes up, if you’d rather walk around than straight through the lingerie section, if you leave the room or lower your voice when your girlfriend calls you, or if buying condoms takes more effort than buying anything else, you have to get over it. And the only way to do that is to challenge rather than avoid those kinds of uncomfortable situations. For starters, you should read this bookin a
public
place, such as on the bus to school, on the subway to work, or at the café you go to on the weekends, if that is what you would normally do but
somehow
decided not to this time. If you always read books in the privacy of your own home, make an exception this time and go out to read.
Challenge yourself! No one else will do it for you.
You have to become shameless so that you are able to do whatever you want to do, whatever needs to be done, even if some people generally would avoid it and label it as embarrassing. If
they
want to make themselves feel bad, fine. Let them have it. Some people actually do feel embarrassed about what other people do; that is how strong the effects of social conditioning can be, but this only proves that some of our feelings have
nothing
to do with our own experience.
Shame and pride are on opposite sides of the same spectrum, and proud of yourself is something that you should be. But never boast and brag about yourself because that means that you are still concerned with what other people think of you and still consider their opinion more highly than your own (you are submissive). Let go of such ideas, and if others let you know that you ought to be ashamed of anything, do not yield to their reality. Be confident!
Unyielding
To be dominant means to have an unyielding personality, to have personal integrity. To be stubborn, but with a smile on your face
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