might happen if he finds out where I go to school.
Though I suppose if he really wanted to find me it wouldn’t be hard as he’s
bound to see who I hang out with, we go to Starbucks so often. All he’d need to
do is ask one of them, on the pretence of me leaving something there.
My other problem
is getting out of school without being seen. School regulations state we have
to be in school uniform all the time until we get home. I reckon they have an
easier time in prison than we do here sometimes. Especially with all these
silly rules. Like who cares if I take my tie off after school?
When I’m
ready—well ready in the loosest sense, my hair’s beyond fixing so all I can do
is scrape it back and hope I don’t look too stupid—I peer out of the door and
make a run for it. My heart’s pounding so loudly in my ears I swear the
Principal will hear it in his office. The corridors are empty. Even so, I
daren’t breathe until I get out of the back door and run down the side of the
building and I’m in the street. If any teacher sees me now I can say I’ve
already been home.
I stand still
for a moment and take a few deep breaths. I need to appear calm and in control,
whatever I feel like inside. If Ryan sees me all flustered and stressed out
he’ll think he can do what he likes.
The walk to
Victoria Park takes about ten minutes and when I get close to the entrance my
calmness evaporates and my stomach begins to churn. I feel so sick, I’m not
sure I can go through with it. My hands are all sweaty so I wipe them down the
sides of my jeans. I’m scared. Not only that I’ve totally forgotten what Maddie
and I planned I’d say. I’m not going. I can’t. I’ll go back home and risk Ryan
dropping me in it.
***
“Geez Suzy. What
is it with you? I can’t believe it. I just can’t believe it.” I knew Maddie
would be angry. Hardly surprising. I could throttle myself too.
“I couldn’t do
it. My brain froze. Couldn’t remember anything we’d planned, so I came home.” I
kick off my shoes and lay down on my bed. “I feel so bad.”
“How far away is
it? If you went straight back he might be still waiting for you.”
“It’s nearly
five. He’s hardly going to wait for an hour is he?”
“I suppose not.”
She pauses. “I wish I was with you. At least then you’d have gone. The only
thing you can do is go to Starbucks next time he’s working and arrange to meet
him again.”
“What’s the
point? I’ll leave it. Let him do his worst.” I bite on my bottom lip.
“And totally
screw up your life. That’s not such a good idea. Don’t worry,” her voice drops
and is much softer. “It’ll work out. You’ve got out of far bigger scrapes than
this in the past.”
“I have?” That’s
news to me.
“Okay. Maybe not
this big, but something will happen and you’ll be fine. I have a good feeling
about this.” Oh great. Now suddenly she’s admitting to having feelings when in
the past she’s totally denied being able to see things.
“Whatever. Well
one thing’s for sure I’m never going to be able to do my homework tonight.
Couldn’t concentrate on anything even with a gun to my head.”
“Will you stop
it. It’s not natural to hear you worrying about homework. It’s too weird.” I
can’t help but grin. She’s so right. It is weird.
“Suzy,” I hear Mom
calling.
“Hang on Maddie.
Yes Mom?”
“Someone to see
you,” she says poking her head around the door.
“Is it Lori?
Send her up.”
“No it’s a boy.”
Oh no, not Guy I am so not up to pretending everything is okay. “Ryan.”
My stomach hits
the floor and shoots back up again. I hold onto the edge of the bed for
support.
“I won’t be a
minute,” I somehow manage to say as Mom turns away, closing the door behind
her. “Maddie, did you hear—”
“Yes. Shit,
Suzy. No escaping him now.” She gives a hollow laugh but I can’t respond
because my breathing is becoming decidedly labored. I think I’m in the
Though I suppose if he really wanted to find me it wouldn’t be hard as he’s
bound to see who I hang out with, we go to Starbucks so often. All he’d need to
do is ask one of them, on the pretence of me leaving something there.
My other problem
is getting out of school without being seen. School regulations state we have
to be in school uniform all the time until we get home. I reckon they have an
easier time in prison than we do here sometimes. Especially with all these
silly rules. Like who cares if I take my tie off after school?
When I’m
ready—well ready in the loosest sense, my hair’s beyond fixing so all I can do
is scrape it back and hope I don’t look too stupid—I peer out of the door and
make a run for it. My heart’s pounding so loudly in my ears I swear the
Principal will hear it in his office. The corridors are empty. Even so, I
daren’t breathe until I get out of the back door and run down the side of the
building and I’m in the street. If any teacher sees me now I can say I’ve
already been home.
I stand still
for a moment and take a few deep breaths. I need to appear calm and in control,
whatever I feel like inside. If Ryan sees me all flustered and stressed out
he’ll think he can do what he likes.
The walk to
Victoria Park takes about ten minutes and when I get close to the entrance my
calmness evaporates and my stomach begins to churn. I feel so sick, I’m not
sure I can go through with it. My hands are all sweaty so I wipe them down the
sides of my jeans. I’m scared. Not only that I’ve totally forgotten what Maddie
and I planned I’d say. I’m not going. I can’t. I’ll go back home and risk Ryan
dropping me in it.
***
“Geez Suzy. What
is it with you? I can’t believe it. I just can’t believe it.” I knew Maddie
would be angry. Hardly surprising. I could throttle myself too.
“I couldn’t do
it. My brain froze. Couldn’t remember anything we’d planned, so I came home.” I
kick off my shoes and lay down on my bed. “I feel so bad.”
“How far away is
it? If you went straight back he might be still waiting for you.”
“It’s nearly
five. He’s hardly going to wait for an hour is he?”
“I suppose not.”
She pauses. “I wish I was with you. At least then you’d have gone. The only
thing you can do is go to Starbucks next time he’s working and arrange to meet
him again.”
“What’s the
point? I’ll leave it. Let him do his worst.” I bite on my bottom lip.
“And totally
screw up your life. That’s not such a good idea. Don’t worry,” her voice drops
and is much softer. “It’ll work out. You’ve got out of far bigger scrapes than
this in the past.”
“I have?” That’s
news to me.
“Okay. Maybe not
this big, but something will happen and you’ll be fine. I have a good feeling
about this.” Oh great. Now suddenly she’s admitting to having feelings when in
the past she’s totally denied being able to see things.
“Whatever. Well
one thing’s for sure I’m never going to be able to do my homework tonight.
Couldn’t concentrate on anything even with a gun to my head.”
“Will you stop
it. It’s not natural to hear you worrying about homework. It’s too weird.” I
can’t help but grin. She’s so right. It is weird.
“Suzy,” I hear Mom
calling.
“Hang on Maddie.
Yes Mom?”
“Someone to see
you,” she says poking her head around the door.
“Is it Lori?
Send her up.”
“No it’s a boy.”
Oh no, not Guy I am so not up to pretending everything is okay. “Ryan.”
My stomach hits
the floor and shoots back up again. I hold onto the edge of the bed for
support.
“I won’t be a
minute,” I somehow manage to say as Mom turns away, closing the door behind
her. “Maddie, did you hear—”
“Yes. Shit,
Suzy. No escaping him now.” She gives a hollow laugh but I can’t respond
because my breathing is becoming decidedly labored. I think I’m in the
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