notes in class.
Then, after that night with Will, after I stopped dancing forever, the dreams ended. But I never gave up my subscriptions to all the dance magazines. I never stopped studying the wonderful photos of dancers frozen in beauty, defying gravity.
Yes, I guess that was my unconscious ambition—to defy gravity. To dance on air. To dance in the mirrors on the ceiling.
Ha.
A little after midnight, I shoved the magazines under my bed and called Teresa on my cell.
“I’m not calling too late, am I? I know you’re a working girl.”
Teresa sighed. “Don’t remind me. The computers were down today, so they told us to write everything down on paper. I mean, what is
that
about? I can’t wait to get to the beach this weekend. How’s it going, Ellie?”
“Not great.”
“Like, how not great?”
“Clay did the most disgusting thing yet,” I said. “He sent me a box of wilted flowers painted black.”
“No shit? What a creep.”
“I haven’t finished. They were crawling with cockroaches.”
“Oh, gross. I don’t believe it. The cockroaches were probably other members of his family.”
“Easy for you to make jokes,” I said. “The roaches got out of the box and were crawling all over me and all over Abby’s spotless kitchen.”
“Did she freak? Did she lose her tan when she saw them?”
“No. She was okay about it. She’s been really nice to me.”
“Well, that’s a good thing.”
It was my turn to sigh. “Teresa, I think I have the job from hell. I really do.”
“Ellie, give me a break. You’re living two steps from the ocean in a gorgeous summer house and—”
“The kid is a total psycho maniac,” I interrupted. “I mean, he’s like right out of
Bride of Chucky
or something. And his father keeps staring at my tits, telling me how great I look in a bathing suit, offering me drinks as soon as his wife is out of the room.”
“Dad is a slut?”
“Dad is a slut.”
“Jesus, Ellie. Is he hot? Are you going to sleep with him?”
“
Shut up,
Teresa. You are
so
not funny tonight!”
“Come on, El. Only trying to make you laugh. You just started this job, and you sound totally wrecked. Are you going to stay there?”
“I don’t know. I guess. I mean, do I have a choice?”
“Well—”
“I
have
to stay here,” I insisted. “Can you hear my mother if I tell her I’ve quit another job? Could I live through another lecture from her about what a quitter I am and how I’m aimless and juvenile, and it’s time for me to start my life for real, and how I should use my sister, Wendy, the saint, the soon-to-be-millionaire, as an example? I don’t think so.”
“Okay. So you’re definitely staying. Excellent. I’ll be out Friday night. Saturday night, we’ll hit some clubs.”
“You mean, have actual fun?”
“Actual fun. I promise, El.”
I said good night to Teresa and clicked off my phone. I placed it on the bed table and slid under the quilt. “Actual fun,” I murmured, yawning. I suddenly felt so weary, that aching kind of sleepy where your eyelids feel heavy and even your hair hurts.
I yawned again. Pressed my head into the pillow.
And heard footsteps downstairs.
Rapid, heavy footsteps in the room below mine.
Was it Chip? Yes, the heavy thuds sounded like Chip. Pacing back and forth, back and forth, pacing furiously. I glanced at the clock. After twelve-thirty.
What was his problem?
21
D
id you like the flowers, Ellie?
They didn’t upset you, did they?
Once you got over the shock, did you think about what they mean? Or did you toss them in the trash—the way you trashed me?
Yes, they were funeral flowers. Black flowers to honor the dead.
They were for
your
funeral, Ellie dear. Did you figure that out?
Yes, I sent them early. But I wanted to be the first. I’ll be there. I want you to know that. I’ll be the first at your funeral—because I’m going to cause it.
But don’t worry, you have a little time.
I want to torture you a bit
Then, after that night with Will, after I stopped dancing forever, the dreams ended. But I never gave up my subscriptions to all the dance magazines. I never stopped studying the wonderful photos of dancers frozen in beauty, defying gravity.
Yes, I guess that was my unconscious ambition—to defy gravity. To dance on air. To dance in the mirrors on the ceiling.
Ha.
A little after midnight, I shoved the magazines under my bed and called Teresa on my cell.
“I’m not calling too late, am I? I know you’re a working girl.”
Teresa sighed. “Don’t remind me. The computers were down today, so they told us to write everything down on paper. I mean, what is
that
about? I can’t wait to get to the beach this weekend. How’s it going, Ellie?”
“Not great.”
“Like, how not great?”
“Clay did the most disgusting thing yet,” I said. “He sent me a box of wilted flowers painted black.”
“No shit? What a creep.”
“I haven’t finished. They were crawling with cockroaches.”
“Oh, gross. I don’t believe it. The cockroaches were probably other members of his family.”
“Easy for you to make jokes,” I said. “The roaches got out of the box and were crawling all over me and all over Abby’s spotless kitchen.”
“Did she freak? Did she lose her tan when she saw them?”
“No. She was okay about it. She’s been really nice to me.”
“Well, that’s a good thing.”
It was my turn to sigh. “Teresa, I think I have the job from hell. I really do.”
“Ellie, give me a break. You’re living two steps from the ocean in a gorgeous summer house and—”
“The kid is a total psycho maniac,” I interrupted. “I mean, he’s like right out of
Bride of Chucky
or something. And his father keeps staring at my tits, telling me how great I look in a bathing suit, offering me drinks as soon as his wife is out of the room.”
“Dad is a slut?”
“Dad is a slut.”
“Jesus, Ellie. Is he hot? Are you going to sleep with him?”
“
Shut up,
Teresa. You are
so
not funny tonight!”
“Come on, El. Only trying to make you laugh. You just started this job, and you sound totally wrecked. Are you going to stay there?”
“I don’t know. I guess. I mean, do I have a choice?”
“Well—”
“I
have
to stay here,” I insisted. “Can you hear my mother if I tell her I’ve quit another job? Could I live through another lecture from her about what a quitter I am and how I’m aimless and juvenile, and it’s time for me to start my life for real, and how I should use my sister, Wendy, the saint, the soon-to-be-millionaire, as an example? I don’t think so.”
“Okay. So you’re definitely staying. Excellent. I’ll be out Friday night. Saturday night, we’ll hit some clubs.”
“You mean, have actual fun?”
“Actual fun. I promise, El.”
I said good night to Teresa and clicked off my phone. I placed it on the bed table and slid under the quilt. “Actual fun,” I murmured, yawning. I suddenly felt so weary, that aching kind of sleepy where your eyelids feel heavy and even your hair hurts.
I yawned again. Pressed my head into the pillow.
And heard footsteps downstairs.
Rapid, heavy footsteps in the room below mine.
Was it Chip? Yes, the heavy thuds sounded like Chip. Pacing back and forth, back and forth, pacing furiously. I glanced at the clock. After twelve-thirty.
What was his problem?
21
D
id you like the flowers, Ellie?
They didn’t upset you, did they?
Once you got over the shock, did you think about what they mean? Or did you toss them in the trash—the way you trashed me?
Yes, they were funeral flowers. Black flowers to honor the dead.
They were for
your
funeral, Ellie dear. Did you figure that out?
Yes, I sent them early. But I wanted to be the first. I’ll be there. I want you to know that. I’ll be the first at your funeral—because I’m going to cause it.
But don’t worry, you have a little time.
I want to torture you a bit
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