healthy swallow of his drink. “Actually I’m the leader of a Delta Force team.”
Of course. She should have seen it. The air of command. The military bearing. The complete self-control. All of these to a much greater degree than any other Dom she knew.
She tilted her head. “Why did you think you had to hide it?”
The muscle in his cheek jumped again. “A lot of people don’t look too favourably on the military these days. Especially units like Delta. We do the dirty jobs, the ones no one else wants or can do. And the ones that no one can ever talk about.”
“Slade, what you do is something to be proud of. But that’s why you’re gone for such long periods, right?”
“Yes.”
He still wasn’t smiling, as if waiting for her to throw him some kind of zinger. The air around the table was suddenly thick with tension.
“And you…what? Didn’t think I’d want to start something with someone who’s gone like that? Would just find someone else? Talk to me. Tell me what’s going through your mind because I know something is.”
He let out a slow, even breath. “I’m pushing forty, Kari. I’ve been doing this for more years than I want to count. It does something to your humanity, even when you know it’s for the greater good. I need more balance to my life but it’s not easy to find the right woman. Besides…”
“Besides what?”
“Okay, cards on the table here. It has to be someone I can see myself with for the long haul. I want the emotional as well as the physical connection. Someone who is secure in herself and can handle the extended absences until I retire. Which will probably be sooner rather than later. And someone who can live with what I do. With the need to unwind when I come home and the fact that not every day will be fun and giggles.”
Kari leant forward on the table. “I have my own issues, Slade. A case can consume me and make me unpleasant to be around sometimes. But what you’re saying… Do I look to you like such a shallow person? If I do, then I’m highly insulted. And maybe we should call a halt to what otherwise have been some very nice evenings.”
A grim expression washed over his face. “I’m doing this very badly. You’ll have to forgive me. It’s the first conversation I’ve ever had like this. And you are far from shallow. Will it frighten you if I tell you that you’re exactly what I had in mind when I was out on the mountains wondering if I’d make it back to base? That the woman in my dreams was exactly like you? And became you after we met? I’m not playing here, Kari. We have a powerful connection and it’s more than just physical. I know you feel it too.” He drained his glass. “So which is it? Forward or out?”
Yes or no, Kari. He’s what you’ve been waiting for all this time, right? And there’s only one way to make sure.
But I could get hurt.
Oh, boo-hoo. Are you a big girl or not?
“Can I get in on that conversation going on in your head?” he asked. “It looks like it would be interesting. Or are you getting ready to tell me I’m way off base here?”
“No,” she said.
He raised an eyebrow, his face still expressionless. “No?”
“I mean, no, that’s not what I’m getting ready to say. Yes.” Oh, good Lord, she sounded like an idiot. If he wanted someone smart it probably wasn’t going to be her. “Yes, we have that connection. And yes, there’s definitely something strong building here. Way more than sex.”
Although I wouldn’t mind some of that sex real fast.
“Good.” His face relaxed into a smile.
Slade hadn’t wanted to admit to himself just how tightly wound he’d been waiting for her answer. For one thing, he hadn’t been on anything resembling a real date in longer than he could remember. Once he’d been selected for Delta Force, his social life had been confined to bar hook-ups and women he met in bondage clubs. He was afraid the few social niceties he’d learned ages ago might have faded
Of course. She should have seen it. The air of command. The military bearing. The complete self-control. All of these to a much greater degree than any other Dom she knew.
She tilted her head. “Why did you think you had to hide it?”
The muscle in his cheek jumped again. “A lot of people don’t look too favourably on the military these days. Especially units like Delta. We do the dirty jobs, the ones no one else wants or can do. And the ones that no one can ever talk about.”
“Slade, what you do is something to be proud of. But that’s why you’re gone for such long periods, right?”
“Yes.”
He still wasn’t smiling, as if waiting for her to throw him some kind of zinger. The air around the table was suddenly thick with tension.
“And you…what? Didn’t think I’d want to start something with someone who’s gone like that? Would just find someone else? Talk to me. Tell me what’s going through your mind because I know something is.”
He let out a slow, even breath. “I’m pushing forty, Kari. I’ve been doing this for more years than I want to count. It does something to your humanity, even when you know it’s for the greater good. I need more balance to my life but it’s not easy to find the right woman. Besides…”
“Besides what?”
“Okay, cards on the table here. It has to be someone I can see myself with for the long haul. I want the emotional as well as the physical connection. Someone who is secure in herself and can handle the extended absences until I retire. Which will probably be sooner rather than later. And someone who can live with what I do. With the need to unwind when I come home and the fact that not every day will be fun and giggles.”
Kari leant forward on the table. “I have my own issues, Slade. A case can consume me and make me unpleasant to be around sometimes. But what you’re saying… Do I look to you like such a shallow person? If I do, then I’m highly insulted. And maybe we should call a halt to what otherwise have been some very nice evenings.”
A grim expression washed over his face. “I’m doing this very badly. You’ll have to forgive me. It’s the first conversation I’ve ever had like this. And you are far from shallow. Will it frighten you if I tell you that you’re exactly what I had in mind when I was out on the mountains wondering if I’d make it back to base? That the woman in my dreams was exactly like you? And became you after we met? I’m not playing here, Kari. We have a powerful connection and it’s more than just physical. I know you feel it too.” He drained his glass. “So which is it? Forward or out?”
Yes or no, Kari. He’s what you’ve been waiting for all this time, right? And there’s only one way to make sure.
But I could get hurt.
Oh, boo-hoo. Are you a big girl or not?
“Can I get in on that conversation going on in your head?” he asked. “It looks like it would be interesting. Or are you getting ready to tell me I’m way off base here?”
“No,” she said.
He raised an eyebrow, his face still expressionless. “No?”
“I mean, no, that’s not what I’m getting ready to say. Yes.” Oh, good Lord, she sounded like an idiot. If he wanted someone smart it probably wasn’t going to be her. “Yes, we have that connection. And yes, there’s definitely something strong building here. Way more than sex.”
Although I wouldn’t mind some of that sex real fast.
“Good.” His face relaxed into a smile.
Slade hadn’t wanted to admit to himself just how tightly wound he’d been waiting for her answer. For one thing, he hadn’t been on anything resembling a real date in longer than he could remember. Once he’d been selected for Delta Force, his social life had been confined to bar hook-ups and women he met in bondage clubs. He was afraid the few social niceties he’d learned ages ago might have faded
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