you live on, Victoria?â
Victoria widened her eyes. âWeâre on the thirtieth floor.â
That must mean something mind-boggling and expensive. âGreat views?â
âThey are amazing, â Victoria said.
My fault. I set her up to fail with that question. âAre you going to ask me up to see these amazing views?â I spent on mint on you, so I deserve to see a million-dollar view, okay?
âOh, Matthew,â Victoria said, smiling. âThis is only our first date.â
And our last. âOf course. Youâre right.â
âI have enjoyed our time together,â Victoria said.
If I were to add it all up, we spent no more than, well, the length of this conversation actually together. âI had a nice time, too.â
Victoria smiled. âI am so glad Michael gave you my number. I donât have many men interested in going out with me.â
And your friend and your iPhone, and your Fendi B Bag, and Freddie, and . . .
Victoria blinked at him.
Oh. I think Iâm supposed to compliment her now. âI donât see why, Victoria. You are truly amazing. Iâm glad Michael gave me your number, too.â
Victoria looked at the tundra gray marble. âWell . . .â
Do I go in for a kiss? I have spent a rent payment on one date. She owes me some kind of affection, not that I will ever call on her again. The view on the thirtieth floor canât be that amazing, and if I ever want to see the view, I can Google it and save another two grand by not taking you, Debbie, Boops, and Boopsie out to eat.
âQuite an iconic building,â Matthew said.
âOh, it is,â Victoria said. âCompletely iconic.â
She either ignores or cannot hear sarcasm. âI had an amazing time, Victoria.â She had to hear the sarcasm that time. That was sarcasm basted in sarcasm and drowned with sarcastic Chablis and caramelized, sarcastic bananas.
âOh, so did I, Matthew,â Victoria said. âI had a truly amazing evening.â
Not . . . a . . . clue.
Matthew took a brisk step forward and kissed her cheek. Ow. What kind of armor does she have on her face? I thought her cheeks were soft. I nearly bounced off. My lips are bruised.
Victoria immediately checked herself in a compact mirror snatched out of her B Bag.
Oh for Godâs sake! Youâre just going upstairs!
Victoria snapped the compact shut. âI have to go help Debbie with Boops and Boopsie. They are so much like children. They are such a handful. I am sure they missed me.â
âOh, most definitely,â Matthew said. âPomeranians are iconic.â
âYes.â Victoria smiled, all fifty of her teeth visible. âYes, they are. I am so glad I have finally met a man who realizes that.â She stepped close and kissed Matthew on the lips.
Ow. She has seriously hard lips, too. What did she fill them with? Cement?
âYou really are an amazing man, Matthew,â Victoria said.
I need to get out of this amazing, iconic place right now before I start looking for Pomeranians to stomp. My lips need an icepack . âEnjoy the rest of your evening, Victoria.â
âOh, I will,â Victoria said. âBye, Matthew. Give my regards to Michael, and feel free to call on me anytime. â
Free? There isnât anything free about you, woman. Even kissing you has a price. âSure.â
As Matthew walked slowly down First Avenue toward the Williamsburg Bridge, he loosened his tie and his thoughts. Do I want to call on her again? A phone call to her I can afford. Would I ever want to take her out again? No. That would be a ginormous mistake. Victoria asked me only two questions all night: one about my appearance, not my substance, and one about where I lived. Iâm glad she didnât ask me what kind of lawyer I was or grill me any more about my âspaceâ on Havemeyer.
Victoria looked at everything and everyone but me. She talked more to
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