Walking Wolf Road (Wolf Road Chronicles Book 1) by Brandon M. Herbert Page A
Authors: Brandon M. Herbert
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stop taking it out on me!”
He paused a moment then muttered an apology as he touched his head to the wall. I picked up a dizzying mix of emotions from him, too many to identify any single one. I had no idea why I felt them, I had most my life, but they seemed to be getting clearer and stronger with my wolf. Mom called it empathy; I called it a pain in my ass. I sighed and tried to relax the muscles in my shoulders. I opened my supplies box and selected a fresh piece of charcoal, “So, do you want to tell me what has you so wound up?”
“No…” he said simply, but without malice.
“Okay.” I didn’t push him, I didn’t need to. We worked in silence as the echoing footsteps and muffled voices that leaked through the door dwindled until all that could be heard was the scritch scritch and occasional squeak of charcoal on paper. I just wished I knew what had the Pack all riled up, it might just be coming down from the full moon high, but I didn’t know for sure, this was all too new.
“You know how werewolves in the movies are usually ‘cursed’?” Fen muttered out of the blue.
“Uh, yeah?”
“Well, the movies are mostly bullshit, but that’s one part that’s only half wrong. It’s not the way they make it though. You know what it is to be truly cursed?”
I made an encouraging grunt as I shaded.
“Some shifters never fully integrate themselves, so they never learn how to control their shifts, or even remember them sometimes. For the fortunate, it just fades away, but for some… Shifting stops being a gift, and becomes a curse.
“Some get so wrapped up in the phenomena and forget about the spiritual aspect, and it dies inside them.” Fen sighed and shook his head, “Or they train their inner animal like a pet, feeding them anger, rage, and violence. I suspect that’s what caused a lot of the ‘evil werewolf’ mythology in Europe. If they truly believed they were possessed by the devil to consume human flesh, by golly that’s what they did!”
Fen rambled, but he was calming down so I just listened as best I could while I worked, nodding and agreeing where appropriate. He grew quiet, and an expression washed over his face so quickly I couldn’t quite catch it.
“There’s another way though, it happens when you least expect it—” His eyes grew distant, like he was watching a memory inside his own head. “—and strikes where it hurts most. If a shifter progresses too fast, or pushes too hard, their energy spikes higher than they can handle and they break. We all push ourselves to become more powerful and integrated with our animal selves, but there is a process, a natural evolution. Otherwise we might lose control and hurt someone; not knowing any better.” Fen sighed and rubbed his temples. “The fear, the guilt… it’d drive you mad.”
He looked at me, his face carefully guarded but something haunted in his eyes. “It’s important to realize that you and your animal are the same; different aspects of the same soul. Not something to break and enslave, nor something to allow to dominate you.”
His tangent didn’t seem so random anymore. “So wait, do you mean I almost ended up ‘cursed’? First, that day outside when I forgot the necklace, and then again the other night?”
He stared at his paper, “Your wolf was already too strong, and he almost seized control from you twice now. Thankfully, you’re made of tougher stuff than any of us expected.” He laughed without humor. “And boy did Loki light up my hide for pushing you so hard. I got carried away, and I’m sorry.”
Ah, well that explained his pleasant mood earlier.
“There’s so much I need to teach you,” he muttered, “I promise Jimmy, I won’t let you become cursed.” The intensity in his eyes left me speechless, so I just nodded and went back to work.
“Jimmy.”
“What?” I looked back at Fen, but he looked confused.
“I didn’t say anything.”
“ No, you just said my name.”
Fen
He paused a moment then muttered an apology as he touched his head to the wall. I picked up a dizzying mix of emotions from him, too many to identify any single one. I had no idea why I felt them, I had most my life, but they seemed to be getting clearer and stronger with my wolf. Mom called it empathy; I called it a pain in my ass. I sighed and tried to relax the muscles in my shoulders. I opened my supplies box and selected a fresh piece of charcoal, “So, do you want to tell me what has you so wound up?”
“No…” he said simply, but without malice.
“Okay.” I didn’t push him, I didn’t need to. We worked in silence as the echoing footsteps and muffled voices that leaked through the door dwindled until all that could be heard was the scritch scritch and occasional squeak of charcoal on paper. I just wished I knew what had the Pack all riled up, it might just be coming down from the full moon high, but I didn’t know for sure, this was all too new.
“You know how werewolves in the movies are usually ‘cursed’?” Fen muttered out of the blue.
“Uh, yeah?”
“Well, the movies are mostly bullshit, but that’s one part that’s only half wrong. It’s not the way they make it though. You know what it is to be truly cursed?”
I made an encouraging grunt as I shaded.
“Some shifters never fully integrate themselves, so they never learn how to control their shifts, or even remember them sometimes. For the fortunate, it just fades away, but for some… Shifting stops being a gift, and becomes a curse.
“Some get so wrapped up in the phenomena and forget about the spiritual aspect, and it dies inside them.” Fen sighed and shook his head, “Or they train their inner animal like a pet, feeding them anger, rage, and violence. I suspect that’s what caused a lot of the ‘evil werewolf’ mythology in Europe. If they truly believed they were possessed by the devil to consume human flesh, by golly that’s what they did!”
Fen rambled, but he was calming down so I just listened as best I could while I worked, nodding and agreeing where appropriate. He grew quiet, and an expression washed over his face so quickly I couldn’t quite catch it.
“There’s another way though, it happens when you least expect it—” His eyes grew distant, like he was watching a memory inside his own head. “—and strikes where it hurts most. If a shifter progresses too fast, or pushes too hard, their energy spikes higher than they can handle and they break. We all push ourselves to become more powerful and integrated with our animal selves, but there is a process, a natural evolution. Otherwise we might lose control and hurt someone; not knowing any better.” Fen sighed and rubbed his temples. “The fear, the guilt… it’d drive you mad.”
He looked at me, his face carefully guarded but something haunted in his eyes. “It’s important to realize that you and your animal are the same; different aspects of the same soul. Not something to break and enslave, nor something to allow to dominate you.”
His tangent didn’t seem so random anymore. “So wait, do you mean I almost ended up ‘cursed’? First, that day outside when I forgot the necklace, and then again the other night?”
He stared at his paper, “Your wolf was already too strong, and he almost seized control from you twice now. Thankfully, you’re made of tougher stuff than any of us expected.” He laughed without humor. “And boy did Loki light up my hide for pushing you so hard. I got carried away, and I’m sorry.”
Ah, well that explained his pleasant mood earlier.
“There’s so much I need to teach you,” he muttered, “I promise Jimmy, I won’t let you become cursed.” The intensity in his eyes left me speechless, so I just nodded and went back to work.
“Jimmy.”
“What?” I looked back at Fen, but he looked confused.
“I didn’t say anything.”
“ No, you just said my name.”
Fen
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