Father are there, too, along with
someone that looks like Ellery—no, it’s definitely her, but she’s much, much
younger. Younger than an Elder. Her hair is brown and curly on her head. Her
skin is tight and flush with pink. She’s smiling, and I see a row of beautiful
white teeth. I say something, but they don’t hear me. I don’t think they know
that I’m here.
Everyone is happy. Talking and
laughing, excited about something that they’re looking at in the middle of the
room. I nudge past Grandmother’s shoulder; she doesn’t feel me. I ask what’s
going on, and no one responds.
I see what they’re looking at. It’s
a crib and inside, a small baby sleeps, wrapped tightly in a white swaddle. It’s
me. It has to be me.
Grandmother says, “She’s beautiful,
isn’t she?”
“More than beautiful,” Grandfather
adds.
“She takes after you both,” my
mother says to her parents. From what I was told, Father’s parents were lost in
a flood, years before he and Mother met.
The baby—I—begin waking up, squawking
and struggling against the swaddle. It’s hard to believe that I was ever that
small. I’m not big now, but the baby me is so tiny .
Ellery bends over the crib and
strokes the baby’s cheek. “She’s hungry. I think it’s time.”
Time for what, I ask, and again, my
words go unheard.
Mother turns to Father. She looks
concerned. “Are we sure about this?”
Father sighs. “Ellery says she’s the
one, Meredith. I believe her.”
“But what if you’re wrong, Ellery? Our
baby…”
Ellery’s smile is warm and
comforting. “Am I ever wrong?”
“No, but—it’s just that—”
“She’s your child. You and Anson
have the final say—but I’ve seen it. You’ll say yes, whether it’s today or a
year from now. What I see does not lie.”
Mother twists a button on her dress and
asks, “What do you think?”
Grandfather and Grandmother exchange
swift glances and take each other’s hand, looking down at the child in the crib.
I want to question what’s happening, what they’re talking about, why Mother is
so concerned, but it’s a waste of time. I’m invisible to them. I’m a bystander
to a seemingly important moment in my life.
Is this a dream? Or am I really
seeing the past?
Grandfather says, “I don’t need
Ellery to tell me she’s special. Look at her. Look at that face. Can’t you feel
it?”
I can. I can feel the love inside
him for his only grandchild, the one he would eventually raise.
Everyone waits while Mother twists,
twists, twists the button.
I survey the room. It’s warm inside
the shack. A fire burns in the stove. Everything is the same, but different. There
is one bed, big enough for both my grandparents to sleep in instead of the two
smaller ones we owned. The shelves that we built aren’t there. Of course they
aren’t. This is years and years before that summer. Grandmother wears the dress
that hung on our wall for so long.
Finally, Mother lets go of the
button and covers her face. From behind her hands, she says, “Go ahead. No—wait—it
won’t hurt, will it?”
Ellery assures her that it won’t,
that I won’t feel a thing.
“What did you mean when you said, ‘a
girl will lead them’?”
“It’s not my place to question the
future, nor to prevent it from developing how it should, Meredith. It’s better
that I don’t say. You must trust me.” She finishes speaking and looks directly
at me. At me , the invisible one. I’m the only entity on this side of the
room. Ellery says, “I was wondering when you would arrive.”
Not a single one of them reacts to
her words. It’s as if we’re alone together.
“I’m here,” I say.
She can hear my voice. Ellery puts
her finger to her lips. “Watch,” she whispers, then pulls a knife from a pocket
and pricks the tip of the same finger, which she then holds down to the open,
crying mouth of the infant. I watch the baby suckle and taste blood on my
tongue. Ellery allows the baby
someone that looks like Ellery—no, it’s definitely her, but she’s much, much
younger. Younger than an Elder. Her hair is brown and curly on her head. Her
skin is tight and flush with pink. She’s smiling, and I see a row of beautiful
white teeth. I say something, but they don’t hear me. I don’t think they know
that I’m here.
Everyone is happy. Talking and
laughing, excited about something that they’re looking at in the middle of the
room. I nudge past Grandmother’s shoulder; she doesn’t feel me. I ask what’s
going on, and no one responds.
I see what they’re looking at. It’s
a crib and inside, a small baby sleeps, wrapped tightly in a white swaddle. It’s
me. It has to be me.
Grandmother says, “She’s beautiful,
isn’t she?”
“More than beautiful,” Grandfather
adds.
“She takes after you both,” my
mother says to her parents. From what I was told, Father’s parents were lost in
a flood, years before he and Mother met.
The baby—I—begin waking up, squawking
and struggling against the swaddle. It’s hard to believe that I was ever that
small. I’m not big now, but the baby me is so tiny .
Ellery bends over the crib and
strokes the baby’s cheek. “She’s hungry. I think it’s time.”
Time for what, I ask, and again, my
words go unheard.
Mother turns to Father. She looks
concerned. “Are we sure about this?”
Father sighs. “Ellery says she’s the
one, Meredith. I believe her.”
“But what if you’re wrong, Ellery? Our
baby…”
Ellery’s smile is warm and
comforting. “Am I ever wrong?”
“No, but—it’s just that—”
“She’s your child. You and Anson
have the final say—but I’ve seen it. You’ll say yes, whether it’s today or a
year from now. What I see does not lie.”
Mother twists a button on her dress and
asks, “What do you think?”
Grandfather and Grandmother exchange
swift glances and take each other’s hand, looking down at the child in the crib.
I want to question what’s happening, what they’re talking about, why Mother is
so concerned, but it’s a waste of time. I’m invisible to them. I’m a bystander
to a seemingly important moment in my life.
Is this a dream? Or am I really
seeing the past?
Grandfather says, “I don’t need
Ellery to tell me she’s special. Look at her. Look at that face. Can’t you feel
it?”
I can. I can feel the love inside
him for his only grandchild, the one he would eventually raise.
Everyone waits while Mother twists,
twists, twists the button.
I survey the room. It’s warm inside
the shack. A fire burns in the stove. Everything is the same, but different. There
is one bed, big enough for both my grandparents to sleep in instead of the two
smaller ones we owned. The shelves that we built aren’t there. Of course they
aren’t. This is years and years before that summer. Grandmother wears the dress
that hung on our wall for so long.
Finally, Mother lets go of the
button and covers her face. From behind her hands, she says, “Go ahead. No—wait—it
won’t hurt, will it?”
Ellery assures her that it won’t,
that I won’t feel a thing.
“What did you mean when you said, ‘a
girl will lead them’?”
“It’s not my place to question the
future, nor to prevent it from developing how it should, Meredith. It’s better
that I don’t say. You must trust me.” She finishes speaking and looks directly
at me. At me , the invisible one. I’m the only entity on this side of the
room. Ellery says, “I was wondering when you would arrive.”
Not a single one of them reacts to
her words. It’s as if we’re alone together.
“I’m here,” I say.
She can hear my voice. Ellery puts
her finger to her lips. “Watch,” she whispers, then pulls a knife from a pocket
and pricks the tip of the same finger, which she then holds down to the open,
crying mouth of the infant. I watch the baby suckle and taste blood on my
tongue. Ellery allows the baby
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