Welcome to Envy Park by Mina V. Esguerra Page A

move on to the next."
    "The next country?"
    "Something like that,
yeah."
    Interviewing me through Skype was Stacy of the NGO
based in Bangkok that my friend referred me to. Stacy was Filipino
too (my friend gave me a backgrounder) and had been working in
Thailand for more than five years. That was a relief, because there
would be things about this part of the plan that I wouldn’t have to
explain.
    Like why.
    "So why do you want to fly off
again, Moira?" Stacy asked.
    I remembered to keep the smile on
despite the confusion that was setting in. The one thing I thought I wouldn’t have to make a speech
for. "Excuse me?"
    "I totally get it. Pick a city,
live there several years, go back home. Why are you interested in
heading back out?"
    "I...I liked it. I like it. The
independence of it."
    "Was it your first time
away?"
    "Singapore? Yes it
was."
    "Any problems
adjusting?"
    "Just the first few months. After,
I was fine."
    "Do you think you have it in you
to do it all over again?"
    I had notes for this interview. It was for a
cause-oriented organization so I was ready to pledge my love for
dolphins and children and the ozone layer. I was ready to shun
plastics and ride bikes if they asked me to, but the life choice
drama was a bit unexpected.
    "Of course," I said automatically.
"I find it exciting."
    "Everyone does, at first," Stacy
said. "But I’ve gone through three assistants who say the exact
same thing at the interview and then bail on me a year or two
later."
    The pattern, Stacy claimed, was that they were
always enthusiastic at the beginning, but then there would be the
homesickness, the better career opportunity in Australia, the
sudden engagement to the British guy.
    "I’m not against anyone making
choices for their own personal growth and whatever," Stacy added,
because the story was making me think just that. "But when I hire
someone I actually need them around for as long as I’m here, and I
need to know if you feel the same way, or you’re just going to be
waiting for the next big thing to come along and ditch this job for
it. I’m going to be frank about it because I know how it feels.
I’ve done that to other jobs too. But I really need someone
reliable here, and it’ll also be good for you to know that this is
the commitment I need."
    " This is my big thing," I said,
seeing an opening and slipping in what I could. "I have a plan for
what the next few years of my life will be like, and this trip back
home is just the layover. I do intend to spend the next few years
discovering what could be my calling."
    Stacy smiled at me and the screen
froze a little bit, then kicked into motion again. "—this
connection. Am I back?"
    "Yes, you are."
    "So how long do you intend to work
on discovering your calling?"
    The trick question. "As long as it
takes."
    I wasn’t sure if Stacy bought that, but we continued
to talk, more about the specifics of the work and what would be
required. It went on for maybe another half hour, and in my opinion
I was the perfect applicant.
    Except this time I was so sure I was saying the
right things, but I didn’t know how I felt about it. If I would
come to accept it as true.
     

Chapter 16
     
    The fourth time I babysat Liam, he had the train set
again. (No more markers, I told Sarah.) He was playing with it on
the floor near the Tower 3 entrance.
    " Konnichiwa ," I said to the woman,
still sitting in her usual spot.
    She nodded and responded, and I
could make out "parent" and "boy" and not much else. I nodded back
though, and it seemed to be enough for her.
    "How’s Sir Ethan, Miss Moira?" my
favorite guard Kuya Alan said, out of the blue, from his spot at
the doorway.
    "I don’t know," I answered, and
that made me realize that I hadn’t seen him in—I wasn’t sure how
long. Oh god, was he still here? Would be leave without saying anything? "He still
lives here, right?"
    "Yes," Kuya Alan said, and it was
amazing how relieved I was. "I’m sorry. I was just—"
    "Small talk. I