“Natty, you don’t have to be ashamed. Tell us what happened. What do you think made you faint? Were you feeling sick earlier today?”
Nathaniel keeps shaking his head, his eyes squeezed shut. An eight year old shouldn’t have to go through this. I am the most terrible older sister that has ever existed. What kind of sister am I to put my little brother in a situation like this?
I pull my hand away from Nathaniel. “It’s all right, Nat. You don’t have to tell us anything. But know that I love you and I am here for you, if you want to talk.”
Nathaniel looks down at the bed with half-lidded eyes. A spark of resentment appears, then dissipates as a small voice chirps from the entrance of the infirmary.
“Nathaniel!”
All three of us turn our heads to find Nurse Lila clasping the small hand of a girl with bright blonde hair and blue-gray eyes that stand out amongst her porcelain skin. She prances over to him.
Nathaniel blushes, pulling the sheet up to hide his burning cheeks. “Isis…”
Oliver smiles at me. “I think we should give these two some alone time. Sister Lila will supervise.”
I grin, knowing that Nathaniel is disguising an embarrassed smile beneath that sheet. “I suppose you’re right. I’m quite tired, in any case. It’s getting late.”
“I’ll escort you to your room,” Oliver says.
I kiss Nathaniel on the top of his head. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”
Nathaniel nods. Isis crawls on to the bed with him while Oliver and I exit the infirmary.
On our way to the rooms on the second floor, I admit to Oliver a watered-down version of why I think Nathaniel fainted. “I am selfish, Olly, for wanting Nat to stay when he doesn’t need to. I think the stress got to him, not the smoking, or anything else. Perhaps that’s why he fell into shock. Being out there with Ann and all, and those demon boys. Poor thing. It must have gotten to him.”
Oliver puts his hand on my back, the slight touch making me want more. The walls of Cathedral Reims are so repressive that they push in on me and quash any desires I have for him.
“Probably,” he says, looking around. At this time of day, Cathedral Reims is mostly empty due to everyone attending the last Liturgy of the Hour before bedtime. So it is just Oliver and I as we climb the winding stairs to the second floor. “I told you not to blame yourself, Amelia. You were doing what you thought was best. You're not perfect, and you shouldn’t try to be.” He stops us at the landing of the second floor, the wood groaning beneath our feet. It’s just the first floor with stone flooring. “Maybe we should go back downstairs, to the nave.”
Oliver makes a grab for my hand, but I pull it in the coat. “No, Oliver. We shouldn’t. They’ll be coming out soon, you know. They’ll cross the nave to get to the dormitories and their rooms.”
His face falls. “But that won’t be for a bit.”
My cheeks flush. “Oliver, we can’t.”
“I understand, but truly, why?”
“You know the rules, Olly. You know how things are supposed to be between us. It’s worse for nuns, especially. You’ll just be given a slap on the hand, but I’ll be exiled.” I close my eyes, soaking in the reality of the implications we toss between each other. “Nothing but this can ever exist between us, Oliver.”
His eyes fall to the scuffed floor. “Not even in secret?”
“Not even in secret. So whatever we feel about each other, we just have to ignore.”
He frowns. “Like we’ve been doing this whole time, Amelia? I just can’t do that, seeing you every day, with your hair, your eyes, your smile.” He turns away, his cheeks flushing a light purple, a peculiar color for a blush, but his blush, nonetheless.
“Would you rather be my friend, or not have me at all, because if you can’t control yourself, then it will have to be the latter.”
Oliver says nothing and starts down the tight corridor of shuttered classrooms and study areas. Not a soul
Nathaniel keeps shaking his head, his eyes squeezed shut. An eight year old shouldn’t have to go through this. I am the most terrible older sister that has ever existed. What kind of sister am I to put my little brother in a situation like this?
I pull my hand away from Nathaniel. “It’s all right, Nat. You don’t have to tell us anything. But know that I love you and I am here for you, if you want to talk.”
Nathaniel looks down at the bed with half-lidded eyes. A spark of resentment appears, then dissipates as a small voice chirps from the entrance of the infirmary.
“Nathaniel!”
All three of us turn our heads to find Nurse Lila clasping the small hand of a girl with bright blonde hair and blue-gray eyes that stand out amongst her porcelain skin. She prances over to him.
Nathaniel blushes, pulling the sheet up to hide his burning cheeks. “Isis…”
Oliver smiles at me. “I think we should give these two some alone time. Sister Lila will supervise.”
I grin, knowing that Nathaniel is disguising an embarrassed smile beneath that sheet. “I suppose you’re right. I’m quite tired, in any case. It’s getting late.”
“I’ll escort you to your room,” Oliver says.
I kiss Nathaniel on the top of his head. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”
Nathaniel nods. Isis crawls on to the bed with him while Oliver and I exit the infirmary.
On our way to the rooms on the second floor, I admit to Oliver a watered-down version of why I think Nathaniel fainted. “I am selfish, Olly, for wanting Nat to stay when he doesn’t need to. I think the stress got to him, not the smoking, or anything else. Perhaps that’s why he fell into shock. Being out there with Ann and all, and those demon boys. Poor thing. It must have gotten to him.”
Oliver puts his hand on my back, the slight touch making me want more. The walls of Cathedral Reims are so repressive that they push in on me and quash any desires I have for him.
“Probably,” he says, looking around. At this time of day, Cathedral Reims is mostly empty due to everyone attending the last Liturgy of the Hour before bedtime. So it is just Oliver and I as we climb the winding stairs to the second floor. “I told you not to blame yourself, Amelia. You were doing what you thought was best. You're not perfect, and you shouldn’t try to be.” He stops us at the landing of the second floor, the wood groaning beneath our feet. It’s just the first floor with stone flooring. “Maybe we should go back downstairs, to the nave.”
Oliver makes a grab for my hand, but I pull it in the coat. “No, Oliver. We shouldn’t. They’ll be coming out soon, you know. They’ll cross the nave to get to the dormitories and their rooms.”
His face falls. “But that won’t be for a bit.”
My cheeks flush. “Oliver, we can’t.”
“I understand, but truly, why?”
“You know the rules, Olly. You know how things are supposed to be between us. It’s worse for nuns, especially. You’ll just be given a slap on the hand, but I’ll be exiled.” I close my eyes, soaking in the reality of the implications we toss between each other. “Nothing but this can ever exist between us, Oliver.”
His eyes fall to the scuffed floor. “Not even in secret?”
“Not even in secret. So whatever we feel about each other, we just have to ignore.”
He frowns. “Like we’ve been doing this whole time, Amelia? I just can’t do that, seeing you every day, with your hair, your eyes, your smile.” He turns away, his cheeks flushing a light purple, a peculiar color for a blush, but his blush, nonetheless.
“Would you rather be my friend, or not have me at all, because if you can’t control yourself, then it will have to be the latter.”
Oliver says nothing and starts down the tight corridor of shuttered classrooms and study areas. Not a soul
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