expecting. She wanted me to do everything for her; help her
down the stairs to the car, buckle her into her seat, unbuckle her
from her seat and then it just continued on from there. It had to
be me who cooled off her food at lunch and me who took her potty
(although Ava did jump in on that one and insist she took her,
thank God), it was me she wanted to sing the ABC song with on our
way to the park, me who she begged to take her to the beach and not
to the swings. Of course, our plans changed and I took the little
doll to the beach. I mean, seriously, how the hell did Ava expect
me to tell her no when she batted those ridiculously long eyelashes
at me and pouted her little lips after saying, “Pwease, Decky,
pwease take me to da beach”? Pfft, wasn’t gonna happen. Ava laughed
and said I was in for it if that’s all it was going to take for her
to get her way with me.
After a long afternoon at the beach, we went
to a little Mexican restaurant for dinner before taking the girls
home. Ava and I are both listening to the music playing softly in
the background and I can hear faint little snores coming from the
backseat where Harper fell asleep in her carseat the second I
turned the car on. My mind is reeling. I know most people date for
a while before they consider the things I’m having a hard time
ignoring right now. I also know that most guys wouldn’t even
consider what I’m contemplating after today with a toddler in the
mix, but what I’m experiencing and have been experiencing with Ava
these last few months isn’t something a lot people are lucky enough
to find.
“ Are you having second
thoughts? It’s okay if you are, I know it’s a lot,” Ava asks as she
brings me out of my own musings.
Second thoughts? She must be crazy after
all. I give her a sideways glance and tighten my grip on her hand
with a smirk on my face. “Actually, my thoughts were going in the
opposite direction of that completely.”
She exhales a relieved breath and smiles
brightly. I love it when she smiles at me like that; she’s so
beautiful and the fact that a future with me put that smile there
makes me feel pretty damn good.
“ She’s pretty perfect,
Ava. I don’t have a lot of experience with kids of any age, but I
know you’ve been doing a damn good job raising her.”
Ava shakes her head and looks out her
window, resisting eye contact.
“ Sunshine, she’s not even
three years old yet and not once did she miss a please or a thank
you. The kid knows her ABCs better than I do and she had to tell me
what came after cinco. She’s brilliant.”
That made her laugh softly
but happily. “She loves Dora; I can’t take the credit for her
Spanish skills.” She takes in a big breath before facing her whole
body in my direction. “We didn’t scare you off then? It’s a lot,
Dec. She is a
lot. You witnessed that today. She’s crazy about you, by the way.
Do you think that’s because she looks more like you than
me?”
“ You noticed that too
huh?” I’m relieved she brought this up because once the three of us
get around the guys and my family I know they won’t be quiet about
it.
A small burst of laughter pops out of her
enticing pink lips before she quickly covers her mouth and looks
back to make sure she didn’t wake her daughter. “Notice it?” Ava
laughs again. “I think she may actually look more like you than my
sister. Our dad is Italian and my sister takes after his side of
the family; my mom is from Oklahoma which is why I look the way I
do. I’ll probably never know who Harper’s father is, but I’m
guessing he’s not a blond-haired, blue-eyed Dutch boy. Were you
shocked when you saw her? You looked a little surprised.”
“ Shocked? Uh, yeah, you
could say that. I was expecting a little you running around and
instead I got a little Macie,” I tell her as it dawns on me that
Harper is a dead ringer for my sister.
“ Oh my gosh, that’s it!
She totally looks like Macie!” Ava laughs quietly
down the stairs to the car, buckle her into her seat, unbuckle her
from her seat and then it just continued on from there. It had to
be me who cooled off her food at lunch and me who took her potty
(although Ava did jump in on that one and insist she took her,
thank God), it was me she wanted to sing the ABC song with on our
way to the park, me who she begged to take her to the beach and not
to the swings. Of course, our plans changed and I took the little
doll to the beach. I mean, seriously, how the hell did Ava expect
me to tell her no when she batted those ridiculously long eyelashes
at me and pouted her little lips after saying, “Pwease, Decky,
pwease take me to da beach”? Pfft, wasn’t gonna happen. Ava laughed
and said I was in for it if that’s all it was going to take for her
to get her way with me.
After a long afternoon at the beach, we went
to a little Mexican restaurant for dinner before taking the girls
home. Ava and I are both listening to the music playing softly in
the background and I can hear faint little snores coming from the
backseat where Harper fell asleep in her carseat the second I
turned the car on. My mind is reeling. I know most people date for
a while before they consider the things I’m having a hard time
ignoring right now. I also know that most guys wouldn’t even
consider what I’m contemplating after today with a toddler in the
mix, but what I’m experiencing and have been experiencing with Ava
these last few months isn’t something a lot people are lucky enough
to find.
“ Are you having second
thoughts? It’s okay if you are, I know it’s a lot,” Ava asks as she
brings me out of my own musings.
Second thoughts? She must be crazy after
all. I give her a sideways glance and tighten my grip on her hand
with a smirk on my face. “Actually, my thoughts were going in the
opposite direction of that completely.”
She exhales a relieved breath and smiles
brightly. I love it when she smiles at me like that; she’s so
beautiful and the fact that a future with me put that smile there
makes me feel pretty damn good.
“ She’s pretty perfect,
Ava. I don’t have a lot of experience with kids of any age, but I
know you’ve been doing a damn good job raising her.”
Ava shakes her head and looks out her
window, resisting eye contact.
“ Sunshine, she’s not even
three years old yet and not once did she miss a please or a thank
you. The kid knows her ABCs better than I do and she had to tell me
what came after cinco. She’s brilliant.”
That made her laugh softly
but happily. “She loves Dora; I can’t take the credit for her
Spanish skills.” She takes in a big breath before facing her whole
body in my direction. “We didn’t scare you off then? It’s a lot,
Dec. She is a
lot. You witnessed that today. She’s crazy about you, by the way.
Do you think that’s because she looks more like you than
me?”
“ You noticed that too
huh?” I’m relieved she brought this up because once the three of us
get around the guys and my family I know they won’t be quiet about
it.
A small burst of laughter pops out of her
enticing pink lips before she quickly covers her mouth and looks
back to make sure she didn’t wake her daughter. “Notice it?” Ava
laughs again. “I think she may actually look more like you than my
sister. Our dad is Italian and my sister takes after his side of
the family; my mom is from Oklahoma which is why I look the way I
do. I’ll probably never know who Harper’s father is, but I’m
guessing he’s not a blond-haired, blue-eyed Dutch boy. Were you
shocked when you saw her? You looked a little surprised.”
“ Shocked? Uh, yeah, you
could say that. I was expecting a little you running around and
instead I got a little Macie,” I tell her as it dawns on me that
Harper is a dead ringer for my sister.
“ Oh my gosh, that’s it!
She totally looks like Macie!” Ava laughs quietly
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