chances of that are, I honestly believe, very slim. But I have to tell her something. “If that happens, then we’ll deal with it,” I whisper into her hair. “But I have every intention of coming home to you and seeing the birth of my daughter.”
She sighs, pressing further into me. “You told me you were coming home last time,” she reminds me under her breath.
I flinch as though I’ve been hit, knowing she’s right. My instinct is to again set her mind at ease, but I really don’t think that’s what she wants to hear from me right now. I wrack my brain, trying to figure out how to fix this and maybe get us back to even part of the happiness we had less than an hour ago. Rearranging myself so I’m lying down on the couch long ways and Samantha’s back is against my stomach, I reach for the remote control for the television to start whatever movie is set to play. During the opening credits, I put my lips against her ear. “You know what I’m most looking forward to in the near future?” I ask her.
She turns slightly to look at me, raising a questioning eyebrow. “Only one thing?” she whispers in an attempt to match the lightness of my tone.
I smile softly at her. “Touché, my love,” I say teasingly. “First I’m looking forward to becoming your husband again. And then I’m looking forward to holding my daughter for the first time. And I fully intend for those two things to happen as scheduled. They’re already written in my schedule—in permanent ink—and anything I think you know that anything I write in that schedule book will happen no matter what.”
She giggles and I feel her relaxing against me. Grinning, I press a kiss to her temple and turn my attention to the movie. Our situation might not be perfect at the moment, and there is a frightening chance I might lose my family again, but for right now, I’m where I need to be, squished between the couch cushions and the love of my life. Anything else can wait for tomorrow.
6
With Claire in charge, an engagement party/baby shower is arranged for the weekend following finding out we’re having a daughter, giving Matthew and me a couple of days before he has to leave for Germany. I’m trying not to think too much about it and he hasn’t brought it up again, though every so often I’ve walked into a room to find him and Leo talking in low, urgent tones or Matthew on the phone with somebody in his office late at night. Every time this happens, Matthew makes it a point to distract my mind in some way, most of which involve the sudden loss of clothing. I’m certainly not going to complain about these instances, but I wish he’d just talk to me about what he’s about to face. The not knowing is worse than anything else.
Despite her needling, I haven’t told Claire the sex of the baby. She keeps trying to convince me it’s necessary information to have while preparing for the baby shower, but I’ve managed to ignore her. Needless to say, she’s not pleased with my newly found diversion tactics I picked up from watching Matthew do the same things to me.
Matthew and I would have been perfectly happy to celebrate our news about the wedding and baby privately, especially considering most of the people invited are ones I’ve never actually met. Obviously Claire and her family are here for the party, as are Bonnie and Leo and a few other people from town. The others seem to be people Matthew works with who are present for no other reason than to kiss his ass. Luckily, he’s smart enough to realize this; he smiles, thanks them for their gifts, and tells them to enjoy the party, then wanders off to talk to someone else. To my surprise, Matthew’s mother Diane arrived shortly after Claire. I waited nervously for Paul to walk in as well, but to my relief, he’s decided not to attend. I have a feeling Matthew and Claire extended the invitation to their mother, but not to their father or sisters. Fine by me…
Much like Claire’s
She sighs, pressing further into me. “You told me you were coming home last time,” she reminds me under her breath.
I flinch as though I’ve been hit, knowing she’s right. My instinct is to again set her mind at ease, but I really don’t think that’s what she wants to hear from me right now. I wrack my brain, trying to figure out how to fix this and maybe get us back to even part of the happiness we had less than an hour ago. Rearranging myself so I’m lying down on the couch long ways and Samantha’s back is against my stomach, I reach for the remote control for the television to start whatever movie is set to play. During the opening credits, I put my lips against her ear. “You know what I’m most looking forward to in the near future?” I ask her.
She turns slightly to look at me, raising a questioning eyebrow. “Only one thing?” she whispers in an attempt to match the lightness of my tone.
I smile softly at her. “Touché, my love,” I say teasingly. “First I’m looking forward to becoming your husband again. And then I’m looking forward to holding my daughter for the first time. And I fully intend for those two things to happen as scheduled. They’re already written in my schedule—in permanent ink—and anything I think you know that anything I write in that schedule book will happen no matter what.”
She giggles and I feel her relaxing against me. Grinning, I press a kiss to her temple and turn my attention to the movie. Our situation might not be perfect at the moment, and there is a frightening chance I might lose my family again, but for right now, I’m where I need to be, squished between the couch cushions and the love of my life. Anything else can wait for tomorrow.
6
With Claire in charge, an engagement party/baby shower is arranged for the weekend following finding out we’re having a daughter, giving Matthew and me a couple of days before he has to leave for Germany. I’m trying not to think too much about it and he hasn’t brought it up again, though every so often I’ve walked into a room to find him and Leo talking in low, urgent tones or Matthew on the phone with somebody in his office late at night. Every time this happens, Matthew makes it a point to distract my mind in some way, most of which involve the sudden loss of clothing. I’m certainly not going to complain about these instances, but I wish he’d just talk to me about what he’s about to face. The not knowing is worse than anything else.
Despite her needling, I haven’t told Claire the sex of the baby. She keeps trying to convince me it’s necessary information to have while preparing for the baby shower, but I’ve managed to ignore her. Needless to say, she’s not pleased with my newly found diversion tactics I picked up from watching Matthew do the same things to me.
Matthew and I would have been perfectly happy to celebrate our news about the wedding and baby privately, especially considering most of the people invited are ones I’ve never actually met. Obviously Claire and her family are here for the party, as are Bonnie and Leo and a few other people from town. The others seem to be people Matthew works with who are present for no other reason than to kiss his ass. Luckily, he’s smart enough to realize this; he smiles, thanks them for their gifts, and tells them to enjoy the party, then wanders off to talk to someone else. To my surprise, Matthew’s mother Diane arrived shortly after Claire. I waited nervously for Paul to walk in as well, but to my relief, he’s decided not to attend. I have a feeling Matthew and Claire extended the invitation to their mother, but not to their father or sisters. Fine by me…
Much like Claire’s
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