Best Friend's Brother #4 (Best Friend's Brother Romance Series - Book #4) by Alycia Taylor Page A
Authors: Alycia Taylor
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…
“I’m not sure why I believe you; you probably
wouldn’t have even told me you saw her if I hadn’t been here when she showed
up. Omission is the same as lying, Ian. I thought we had cleared that up
before…”
“I know, and we did. I’m sorry. I was going to tell
you about Kristie but the timing just hadn’t been right. Alexa please let me…”
I reached out for her and she took a step back. I
knew I was screwed. She was going to leave and I already felt like I couldn’t
breathe. Damn it! I hated feeling this way. I hated it, and I loved it. It
didn’t make any fucking sense. I’ve never really cared if a girl walked out
before. It’s always been pretty easy to either get another one, or just be
alone. Before Emma died, I was never afraid of being alone. Now, the thought of
Alexa leaving and not coming back terrified me. I’d like to blame it all on
grief, but the fact was that I simply wanted her.
“I just need some time, Ian.”
She was gathering up her stuff as she talked.
“I need to wrap my head around all of this. So far,
in the short time we’ve been seeing each other, things
seem to be more “off” than they are “on”. I’m not sure I can do this
roller-coaster thing….”
“It won’t be roller-coaster. I won’t see her again,
ever. I can promise you that…”
“Ian, I’m not saying we’re over. I’m not mad. I just
need to spend some time getting my thoughts together and figure out if…whatever
this is between us is healthy for me. I’ll call you.” She went into the bedroom
and finished getting dressed. I stood rooted to the spot I was in, wondering
how I could possible keep screwing this up. When she came back, she looked at
me sadly and said again, “I’ll call you, okay?”
I think it was an unspoken, “ Don’t call me.”
“I’m sorry,” I said.
“Don’t be sorry. I’m really not mad. This has just
all happened so fast. Maybe we both need to put more thought into it. Do me a
favor and spend your own time thinking about all of this too. We’ve been
through a lot. At first it was okay that we were together because of Emma. We
both desperately needed that. But now, I think we need to look at whether or
not there are other reasons to be together, and if this is worth pursuing.” I
just stood there looking at her like an idiot. I knew that this was worth
pursuing. I didn’t have to think about it. I wasn’t sure why I felt differently
about her than I ever had any other woman or girl…but I did. I watched her go without
telling her that. I should have just told her…what did I really have to lose
when she was already walking out the door? I dropped down onto the couch and
wondered when my life would ever stop being one dramatic scene after the other.
I finally pulled my ass up off the couch and got
into the shower. The more I thought about Kristie’s perfect timing, the more
pissed off I got. Yes, I should have told Alexa that I went out to dinner with
her, but since that was all there was to it, I really hadn’t thought it was a
big deal. Kristie showing up made it a big deal and I may have just lost Alexa
because of it. How many things was she going to have to find out…things that I
should have told her myself…before she gave up on me?
I got dressed for the gym and threw my things in my
bag. I needed to go work out or this anger was going to overwhelm me. I can’t
get through this shit without Alexa. If it wasn’t for
her…I’d probably be curled up in a corner somewhere…Shit! What the hell am I
going to do now?
I grabbed my bag and my keys and headed out. By the
time I got to the car I realized that I couldn’t just let this go. I had to try
and do something to convince her I was worth taking a risk on. Things have just
been so screwed up since Emma died…but they would get better, as long as we
worked through it together. I understand why she would need some time. I
planned on giving that to her. But, then somehow, I’m going to
“I’m not sure why I believe you; you probably
wouldn’t have even told me you saw her if I hadn’t been here when she showed
up. Omission is the same as lying, Ian. I thought we had cleared that up
before…”
“I know, and we did. I’m sorry. I was going to tell
you about Kristie but the timing just hadn’t been right. Alexa please let me…”
I reached out for her and she took a step back. I
knew I was screwed. She was going to leave and I already felt like I couldn’t
breathe. Damn it! I hated feeling this way. I hated it, and I loved it. It
didn’t make any fucking sense. I’ve never really cared if a girl walked out
before. It’s always been pretty easy to either get another one, or just be
alone. Before Emma died, I was never afraid of being alone. Now, the thought of
Alexa leaving and not coming back terrified me. I’d like to blame it all on
grief, but the fact was that I simply wanted her.
“I just need some time, Ian.”
She was gathering up her stuff as she talked.
“I need to wrap my head around all of this. So far,
in the short time we’ve been seeing each other, things
seem to be more “off” than they are “on”. I’m not sure I can do this
roller-coaster thing….”
“It won’t be roller-coaster. I won’t see her again,
ever. I can promise you that…”
“Ian, I’m not saying we’re over. I’m not mad. I just
need to spend some time getting my thoughts together and figure out if…whatever
this is between us is healthy for me. I’ll call you.” She went into the bedroom
and finished getting dressed. I stood rooted to the spot I was in, wondering
how I could possible keep screwing this up. When she came back, she looked at
me sadly and said again, “I’ll call you, okay?”
I think it was an unspoken, “ Don’t call me.”
“I’m sorry,” I said.
“Don’t be sorry. I’m really not mad. This has just
all happened so fast. Maybe we both need to put more thought into it. Do me a
favor and spend your own time thinking about all of this too. We’ve been
through a lot. At first it was okay that we were together because of Emma. We
both desperately needed that. But now, I think we need to look at whether or
not there are other reasons to be together, and if this is worth pursuing.” I
just stood there looking at her like an idiot. I knew that this was worth
pursuing. I didn’t have to think about it. I wasn’t sure why I felt differently
about her than I ever had any other woman or girl…but I did. I watched her go without
telling her that. I should have just told her…what did I really have to lose
when she was already walking out the door? I dropped down onto the couch and
wondered when my life would ever stop being one dramatic scene after the other.
I finally pulled my ass up off the couch and got
into the shower. The more I thought about Kristie’s perfect timing, the more
pissed off I got. Yes, I should have told Alexa that I went out to dinner with
her, but since that was all there was to it, I really hadn’t thought it was a
big deal. Kristie showing up made it a big deal and I may have just lost Alexa
because of it. How many things was she going to have to find out…things that I
should have told her myself…before she gave up on me?
I got dressed for the gym and threw my things in my
bag. I needed to go work out or this anger was going to overwhelm me. I can’t
get through this shit without Alexa. If it wasn’t for
her…I’d probably be curled up in a corner somewhere…Shit! What the hell am I
going to do now?
I grabbed my bag and my keys and headed out. By the
time I got to the car I realized that I couldn’t just let this go. I had to try
and do something to convince her I was worth taking a risk on. Things have just
been so screwed up since Emma died…but they would get better, as long as we
worked through it together. I understand why she would need some time. I
planned on giving that to her. But, then somehow, I’m going to
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