actually
beamed
at him. Who was this girl and where did she come from?
Beckett reached across the table and pulled my cup toward him. He leaned down and sniffed the steaming beverage. “Did you just smell my drink?” I asked, laughing incredulously.
“Damn straight I did.” He sniffed it again and there I was, laughing again. Loudly. A little stilted but from the gut.
“Do I need to give you two a moment?” I joked.
Beckett sat up and pushed the mug back toward me. “No, I think we’re good. Just letting her know I haven’t forgotten about her.” He glared down at his drink. “I’ll try not to hold it against you, green tea. But you’re just not as good as my girl coffee,” he pouted, and I rolled my eyes.
“Has anyone ever told you that you’re pretty ridiculous?”
“No, actually. I’m not known for my wacky and zany personality,” he laughed.
“I feel special then.”
Beckett shrugged. “I guess you bring it out in me.”
“One of my many talents, I suppose,” I said.
“I can only imagine,” Beckett smirked, waggling his eyebrows, and I shook my head.
I cleared my throat, feeling a little off balance and sat up straighter in my seat. “So you see Dr. Callahan?” I asked, searching for a topic we could discuss easily. Our physical ailments seemed the simplest direction.
Beckett’s smile dimmed a bit. “Uh, yeah. Have been for a while now. But I don’t have another appointment for a couple of weeks when she checks my ICD,” he replied, pushing his mug to the side.
“Is it strange knowing that thing is there, under your skin?” I asked, scratching a spot on my arm compulsively.
“Not any stranger than having my entire life turned upside down because of a condition I never knew that I had.”
He didn’t sound upset. He didn’t sound bitter.
Just matter of fact.
“What
is
your condition? You mentioned some letter before but I don’t have a clue what you were talking about. I Googled it and was hopelessly confused,” I said and immediately bit my tongue. Way to admit that I was interested in knowing more about him!
“You Googled it?” Beckett asked, looking amused.
I shrugged and tried not to look as mortified as I currently felt.
“That’s pretty awesome actually,” he mused, his eyes soft with an emotion I didn’t entirely understand.
He started piling packets of sugar. Making elaborate structures that eventually fell down. He didn’t seem made uncomfortable by my question but wasn’t in a rush to answer it either.
“I shouldn’t have asked. I’m sorry. Forget it,” I fumbled, trying to backpedal as fast as I could.
“No, it’s okay. I appreciate you wanting to know more about it.” Beckett’s answering smile was a little pained but totally natural. Easy.
He knocked the sugar packets over and then rebuilt them. Slowly. Taking his time. “I have a genetic heart defect called ARVC. I won’t bore you with the long name. But it messes with my heart rhythm. I didn’t know I had it until I almost dropped dead from the heart attack.”
There was a touch of anger in his voice, but he brushed it off with an indifferent shrug.
“Wow. That has to be tough.”
Clearly that was the
wrong
thing to say. His mood instantly changed and his affable demeanor morphed into irritated frustration.
Beckett stiffened. “You don’t have to feel sorry for me.”
I drew myself upright, his tone making me defensive. But more than anything, I didn’t want him to think I felt
sorry
for him. Yeah, I sympathized but I honestly didn’t pity him. Not one little bit.
“I
don’t
feel sorry for you.”
Beckett looked at me incredulously, like he didn’t believe me.
“I’m used to it, Corin. It’s nothing new, all right.”
“Yeah, I feel
bad
that you’re going through that. It sucks. But you seem to be the last person in the world that needs anyone to feel sorry for him. I think you seem to be handling things pretty well considering.”
“Yeah, considering
beamed
at him. Who was this girl and where did she come from?
Beckett reached across the table and pulled my cup toward him. He leaned down and sniffed the steaming beverage. “Did you just smell my drink?” I asked, laughing incredulously.
“Damn straight I did.” He sniffed it again and there I was, laughing again. Loudly. A little stilted but from the gut.
“Do I need to give you two a moment?” I joked.
Beckett sat up and pushed the mug back toward me. “No, I think we’re good. Just letting her know I haven’t forgotten about her.” He glared down at his drink. “I’ll try not to hold it against you, green tea. But you’re just not as good as my girl coffee,” he pouted, and I rolled my eyes.
“Has anyone ever told you that you’re pretty ridiculous?”
“No, actually. I’m not known for my wacky and zany personality,” he laughed.
“I feel special then.”
Beckett shrugged. “I guess you bring it out in me.”
“One of my many talents, I suppose,” I said.
“I can only imagine,” Beckett smirked, waggling his eyebrows, and I shook my head.
I cleared my throat, feeling a little off balance and sat up straighter in my seat. “So you see Dr. Callahan?” I asked, searching for a topic we could discuss easily. Our physical ailments seemed the simplest direction.
Beckett’s smile dimmed a bit. “Uh, yeah. Have been for a while now. But I don’t have another appointment for a couple of weeks when she checks my ICD,” he replied, pushing his mug to the side.
“Is it strange knowing that thing is there, under your skin?” I asked, scratching a spot on my arm compulsively.
“Not any stranger than having my entire life turned upside down because of a condition I never knew that I had.”
He didn’t sound upset. He didn’t sound bitter.
Just matter of fact.
“What
is
your condition? You mentioned some letter before but I don’t have a clue what you were talking about. I Googled it and was hopelessly confused,” I said and immediately bit my tongue. Way to admit that I was interested in knowing more about him!
“You Googled it?” Beckett asked, looking amused.
I shrugged and tried not to look as mortified as I currently felt.
“That’s pretty awesome actually,” he mused, his eyes soft with an emotion I didn’t entirely understand.
He started piling packets of sugar. Making elaborate structures that eventually fell down. He didn’t seem made uncomfortable by my question but wasn’t in a rush to answer it either.
“I shouldn’t have asked. I’m sorry. Forget it,” I fumbled, trying to backpedal as fast as I could.
“No, it’s okay. I appreciate you wanting to know more about it.” Beckett’s answering smile was a little pained but totally natural. Easy.
He knocked the sugar packets over and then rebuilt them. Slowly. Taking his time. “I have a genetic heart defect called ARVC. I won’t bore you with the long name. But it messes with my heart rhythm. I didn’t know I had it until I almost dropped dead from the heart attack.”
There was a touch of anger in his voice, but he brushed it off with an indifferent shrug.
“Wow. That has to be tough.”
Clearly that was the
wrong
thing to say. His mood instantly changed and his affable demeanor morphed into irritated frustration.
Beckett stiffened. “You don’t have to feel sorry for me.”
I drew myself upright, his tone making me defensive. But more than anything, I didn’t want him to think I felt
sorry
for him. Yeah, I sympathized but I honestly didn’t pity him. Not one little bit.
“I
don’t
feel sorry for you.”
Beckett looked at me incredulously, like he didn’t believe me.
“I’m used to it, Corin. It’s nothing new, all right.”
“Yeah, I feel
bad
that you’re going through that. It sucks. But you seem to be the last person in the world that needs anyone to feel sorry for him. I think you seem to be handling things pretty well considering.”
“Yeah, considering
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