back in the night, the silver phosphorus rippling around my arms as I flowed through the water. As I swam, I thought of you, and your sunset-bright stick-in-the-mouth, and your magic cave-that-humans-made, and your silvery hair, and your long, strong legs – and of Grandmother, with her grey spit and her human hair nets, and Father, bulky and pale-eyed, and my sisters, happy just to mate and plait their hair and push out pups till their time came to lie on the sand for the last time.
In the dawn, I went to Grandmother’s cave. She was sleeping, mouth hanging open, dribble escaping down the rivulets of her chin. I waited till she woke.
“Are the spirits real?”
She dug the crust from beneath her eyelids.
“As real as I am.”
“If I ask them, can they make me legs, like a human?”
Grandmother lifted a skinny arm and scratched underneath. I held my breath.
“For a price.”
“ What price?”
She blinked, hawked.
“The spirits don’t give anything for nothing. They will ask their own price.”
“ Will it hurt?”
“ Of course it’ll hurt.”
“They can really give me legs?”
“ If it’s legs you want - but don’t ask them to take them away again. How many do you want? Eight, like the octopus? Four, like a seal?”
“Only two.”
I helped her sit, skin crawling at the touch of her loose, damp skin.
“Get me the bag with the urchins. It’s there somewhere. I can’t see things as I used to.”
Grandmother playing helpless. I poked through the piles of rubbish surrounding her, till I found it.
“ Pop it in. You won’t feel a thing, I promise.”
I hesitated. We know what things are poison.
She snorted, spat.
Shrinking, I put it in my mouth, spat it out again. It tasted bitter.
“Doesn’t taste nice, does it. Maybe you want me to cut you some legs without having to eat the nasty creature. Well, give me your tail then!”
I looked down at my strong tail.
“I’ll chew it. What does it do?”
“Makes you sleep. Kills you, maybe? “
I shrugged. “I don’t mind.” I shivered.
I shoved a mouthful of the thing in between my teeth, retched and pushed the feeling down. But if this was the worst thing I had to endure to get my legs, I’d endure it. I chewed, thinking of you. When I had legs, I’d walk up the cliff path towards you. With my legs, I’d walk into your cave-that-humans-make and you’d come to meet me, amazed at my beauty and grace. I’d wrap my legs around yours and you’d fuck me as you fuck human women. You’d say, what beautiful legs you have. Let’s walk together. I wondered if the Dry – I mean the real Dry - was a big place, as big as Deep Sea.
“Now what?”
I stared around at the cave. The skulls stared back at me. Among them I saw the face of the drowned human woman, eyeless, salt-pickled. So that’s where she’d gone. As I looked at her, her mouth opened wide, and she had teeth like a lizard fish. She slid forward, and clamped the sharp rows deep into my hip. I screamed and tried to push her away. I tried to thrash my tail to throw her off but it wouldn’t move, so I tried to use my arms, and they, too, were useless.
Grandmother had said I wouldn’t feel a thing. She lied , as always. I screamed and screamed as she cut into me, sneering at my cowardice. She paid no attention. I tried to slide back into the water but for all the effort I put into it, I didn’t move an inch. My muscles didn’t hear me. I thought I would die of pain. I didn’t. I felt the knife weaving its hard magic around me, and then the net of hair, pulled tight over my head and body, suffocating and drowning me. I saw Grandmother’s spirits laughing down at me, their rows of teeth pointed backwards like sharks, their faces hanging in the dark mists. They too had knives, sharp ones made of coral and fishbone, with carved handles in the shape of strange creatures I’d never seen. As
In the dawn, I went to Grandmother’s cave. She was sleeping, mouth hanging open, dribble escaping down the rivulets of her chin. I waited till she woke.
“Are the spirits real?”
She dug the crust from beneath her eyelids.
“As real as I am.”
“If I ask them, can they make me legs, like a human?”
Grandmother lifted a skinny arm and scratched underneath. I held my breath.
“For a price.”
“ What price?”
She blinked, hawked.
“The spirits don’t give anything for nothing. They will ask their own price.”
“ Will it hurt?”
“ Of course it’ll hurt.”
“They can really give me legs?”
“ If it’s legs you want - but don’t ask them to take them away again. How many do you want? Eight, like the octopus? Four, like a seal?”
“Only two.”
I helped her sit, skin crawling at the touch of her loose, damp skin.
“Get me the bag with the urchins. It’s there somewhere. I can’t see things as I used to.”
Grandmother playing helpless. I poked through the piles of rubbish surrounding her, till I found it.
“ Pop it in. You won’t feel a thing, I promise.”
I hesitated. We know what things are poison.
She snorted, spat.
Shrinking, I put it in my mouth, spat it out again. It tasted bitter.
“Doesn’t taste nice, does it. Maybe you want me to cut you some legs without having to eat the nasty creature. Well, give me your tail then!”
I looked down at my strong tail.
“I’ll chew it. What does it do?”
“Makes you sleep. Kills you, maybe? “
I shrugged. “I don’t mind.” I shivered.
I shoved a mouthful of the thing in between my teeth, retched and pushed the feeling down. But if this was the worst thing I had to endure to get my legs, I’d endure it. I chewed, thinking of you. When I had legs, I’d walk up the cliff path towards you. With my legs, I’d walk into your cave-that-humans-make and you’d come to meet me, amazed at my beauty and grace. I’d wrap my legs around yours and you’d fuck me as you fuck human women. You’d say, what beautiful legs you have. Let’s walk together. I wondered if the Dry – I mean the real Dry - was a big place, as big as Deep Sea.
“Now what?”
I stared around at the cave. The skulls stared back at me. Among them I saw the face of the drowned human woman, eyeless, salt-pickled. So that’s where she’d gone. As I looked at her, her mouth opened wide, and she had teeth like a lizard fish. She slid forward, and clamped the sharp rows deep into my hip. I screamed and tried to push her away. I tried to thrash my tail to throw her off but it wouldn’t move, so I tried to use my arms, and they, too, were useless.
Grandmother had said I wouldn’t feel a thing. She lied , as always. I screamed and screamed as she cut into me, sneering at my cowardice. She paid no attention. I tried to slide back into the water but for all the effort I put into it, I didn’t move an inch. My muscles didn’t hear me. I thought I would die of pain. I didn’t. I felt the knife weaving its hard magic around me, and then the net of hair, pulled tight over my head and body, suffocating and drowning me. I saw Grandmother’s spirits laughing down at me, their rows of teeth pointed backwards like sharks, their faces hanging in the dark mists. They too had knives, sharp ones made of coral and fishbone, with carved handles in the shape of strange creatures I’d never seen. As
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