Full Circle by Donya Lynne

her
tongue.
    “Not long. A few weeks, maybe a month.”
    “And was cocaine the only drug you used?”
    “No. I did try crack once. I guess
technically it’s cocaine, though, so . . .” He
cleared his throat and glanced down. “But I also took a few hits of
Molly.”
    “Molly?”
    “It’s a designer drug.”
    “Oh.” She bit her bottom lip as her eyes
shifted awkwardly.
    “I didn’t really like how the drugs made me
feel, though, so I stopped. But I was hurting. I was looking for
any outlet to help me forget. So, I turned to drugs and alcohol.
Then it was just alcohol. And then Rob pulled me out of the bottle,
and I thought maybe I was going to be okay, but there was still
something missing. I was still hurting. That’s
when . . .” He closed his eyes and lowered his head,
giving himself a moment to breathe before going on. He looked back
up, met her gaze, and said, “That’s when I became addicted to
sex.”
    She pulled back a fraction of an inch and
blinked as her eyebrows lifted. Clearly, she hadn’t expected him to
say that.
    “Clinically speaking, I wasn’t addicted, but
I started going out with a lot of women. I wanted to replace Carol.
It’s like I had this deep-seated need to find what I’d had with her
with someone else, and then it just turned into something
ugly.”
    God, it was a wonder he hadn’t caught some
disease or gotten some girl pregnant. He’d been so reckless.
    Karma deserved so much better than a man like
him, but fate had driven them together. Now he needed to come clean
so they could go into their future unencumbered by the past. But
right now, he wouldn’t even be able to look at himself in a mirror,
he was so ashamed.
    “The things I did, Karma. I was such a
hedonist, and not in a good way.”
    “Like what?” Her voice was barely a whisper.
“What did you do?”
    “I think a better question is what didn’t I do?” He shook his head shamefully. “I did it all,
Karma. Threesomes. Foursomes. Sex parties. I went to fetish clubs.
I even paid a woman to have sex with me. Do you understand what I’m
saying? I paid a woman, Karma. What kind of an asshole pays for
sex?” He let go of her hands and scooted away. He couldn’t stand
the thought of defiling her simply by touching her.
    She grabbed his wrist and pulled him back,
pushing up on her knees and inching forward so she could close the
distance between them and prevent him from turning away. “Hey, you
were in a bad place, remember? You said so yourself. You weren’t
thinking clearly. Don’t be so hard on yourself, Mark. That was a
long time ago, and you’re not that person, anymore.”
    Now it was his turn to frown. Was he in
another dimension? He’d just told her he’d done drugs, done
unspeakable things, and paid for a night of sex with an escort, and
yet she was comforting him. She was putting her arms around him,
hugging him, pressing her cheek against his.
    This wasn’t the reaction he’d expected, but
he was grateful for it.
    “You deserve better than me,” he said,
pushing her away so he could stroke his fingers down the side of
her face. “I’m not good enough for you.”
    She cocked her head to the side and arched
one eyebrow. “Why don’t you let me decide what is and isn’t
good enough for me. I can assure you, if I didn’t think you were, I
wouldn’t be here now. I’d probably still be with Brad.”
    Just the mention of Brad’s name sent prickles
up and down Mark’s back. “Maybe you should be. Maybe—”
    “I didn’t love him. I love you . You
coming back helped me see that before I made a terrible mistake and
married him.” She stared him down hard, as if she were trying to
burn her thoughts into his brain. “He never excited me the way you
do.” She exhaled sharply. “He didn’t excite me at all , if
I’m being honest. Sex was more like a chore. So what if he seemed
like Mr. Perfect? Perfection is boring. There’s no character in
perfection.” She shook her head and