In a Mother’s Arms by Jillian Hart, Victoria Bylin Page A

you know what you mean to me.”
    “Oh, I can see it.” She looked angry now.
    Even he could tell that was only a mask. She was hurting beneath. He was, too, feeling the strike of her rejection. “You won’t marry me?”
    “I can’t marry you.” She looked ready to break apart. “You are thinking about your daughters. That’s why you are proposing to me. You think I’m useful. That I’ll be a solution to your problems.”
    “I’m thinking about my girls, yes—” He caught her in his arms. She was so tiny, for the great power she had over him. He would climb mountains for her, swim the ocean, leap to the moon if that’s what she wanted. Affection filled him up like a wellspring, refreshing and overflowing. Heaven help him. It could not be love in his heart. This was a convenient proposal, nothing more. “Penny and Prudy are getting older. They will be young ladies in a matter of years. They will be putting up their hair and letting down their hemlines. What good will I be to them, then? They love you, Molly. You love them. I’ve seen it. Go ahead and deny it.”
    “But you don’t love me.”
    I don’t want to love you. How could he say the words that would hurt her? That would drive her away forever? “What I’m offering you is security. You’ll have a comfortable life here.”
    “Security and comfort? That’s wonderful, but a marriage has to be more.” Her voice broke. “I need it to be more.”
    “I’ll respect you. I’ll treat you right. I’ll do my best by you, Molly, if only you would honor me—”
    “No.” She shook her head slowly, sadly. “That’s not what I want.”
    “I care very much. That has to be enough.”
    “It’s not even close.” She choked on a sob, waiting for her words to sink in. Realization swept across hisface and he released his hold on her. Freed, she stumbled, unable to orient herself. Even though she was standing upright, she felt as if she were falling down. Maybe it was because of the pain of loss and longing she’d seen in his eyes. She still felt it as she turned from him.
    “Doc!” A man’s voice broke the silence between them like a gunshot. A horse and rider galloped into the yard, the horse lathered, the rider panicked. “You’ve got to come quick. It’s Mr. Gornecke. He’s taken with scarlet fever now and it’s real bad. Hurry.”
    “All right, Jerry.” Sam hung his head, his frustration palpable. “Molly, I want to talk about this some more.”
    “No, I can’t bear it. Your heart isn’t going to change. It’s over, Sam.” Aware of the stranger watching, she ducked her head, heading in the direction of her cart. His voice haunted her. What I’m offering you is security. You’ll have a comfortable life here.
    She was walking away from a real chance for a family. To be a mother again. Part of her wanted to go back. She hated such weakness, that she would consider his offer, even secretly, even against her better judgment.
    But what about accepting his proposal? No. She did not want to live the rest of her days watching and counting all the ways Sam did not love her. Because she loved him. She had the shards of her foolish heart to prove it.
    Ruth nickered in comfort. Molly patted her old friend’s neck before climbing onto the seat. She felt drained, hollow. As if the emptiness that had shadowedher for years had become permanent. She gathered up the reins and cast one last look at the man she loved, the man she feared she would always love. He stood with his shoulders straight, his hands empty, the apology plain on his face.
    It had been her mistake, nothing more. She snapped the reins and let Ruth carry her home.
     
    It was near midnight when Sam locked the kitchen door behind him and dropped his bag on the bench. At least Mrs. Gornecke was improving, and he had hope for her husband. A rustle in the darkness told him he wasn’t alone. A second rustle told him the twins had tried to wait for him and had fallen asleep on the window