Is by Derek Webb

end they even got some applause. Personally I think it was just that everyone like me had been conned out of money by Kevin and his band of upper-sixth thugs. And we were hoping if the Strangers did well we might see our ‘investment’ back some time. Fat chance.
    Kevin even had this idea of performing in a concert the school was talking of putting on at Easter. The fact that the musical Jesus Christ Superstar was on in London at the time may have had something to do with it.
    I think Kevin probably saw himself as some sort of Andrew Lloyd Webber figure. The mind boggles. But luckily the idea didn’t get off the ground, so we were spared that spectacle.
    So, as I say, all in all things weren’t too bad. But then, just as we were going along nicely, what happens but another science lesson with Mr Phillips…
    â€˜Today we’re going to learn a bit about how water behaves,’ started Mr Phillips as he walked up and down the aisle. He was behind Jamie Johnson, one of Kevin’s mates, at the time.
    â€˜Johnson, perhaps you’d like to tell the class what you know about water?’
    Jamie had to twist his head round to look at Mr Phillips, who was now hovering ominously above him. ‘It’s wet, Sir?’
    We all giggled at that. All except Mr Phillips, of course.
    â€˜Very good, Johnson. And what do you use it for?’
    â€˜Washing? Sir?’ I sensed Jamie was cowering slightly as he gave his answer, not quite sure if it was the right one.
    â€˜Washing? Yes, very good Johnson! But tell me…’
    â€˜Yes, Sir?’ Jamie was relaxed now that he thought he’d got it right; not a good idea when Phillips is around. He had no sooner got the words out than he found himself pinned to the desk with the full weight of Mr Phillips on his shoulders and the obnoxious breath of Mr Phillips hot in his ears. ‘If you know about washing, Johnson, tell me,  why is your neck so disgustingly filthy!’
    Mr Phillips strode back to his desk amid howls of laughter at Jamie’s expense.
    â€˜But we are not here to discuss the sad state of young Johnson’s neck,’ he continued. ‘I have something else here which might amuse you.’
    With that he reached under his desk and brought out a brick, an ordinary brick. Well, half of one. He put it on the desk with a dramatic thump. For a minute I thought he might pick it up and aim it at one of us. But no, he opened a drawer and took out a reel of cotton which he proceeded to tie round the brick. Then he held the cotton up so it was taut, and looked round the class.
    â€˜Okay, who would like to try and lift the brick with this piece of cotton.’
    No prizes for guessing whose hand shot up first. Well actually, his was the only hand that was raised.
    Mr Phillips beamed. ‘Ah, Smart! You fancy a go, do you?’
    â€˜Yes, Sir,’ replied Clever Trev as he got up from his desk.
    Despite valiant efforts by me and a couple of others, nobody managed to trip Trev up on his journey to Mr Phillips’ desk.
    â€˜So you think it’s possible to lift this brick without breaking the cotton do you?’
    â€˜Yes, Sir.’ Clever Trev naturally thought there was a trick and for some reason the brick would lift. He didn’t realise he was being set up.
    â€˜Well let’s see you do it then.’
    Oh, how Trevor’s face was contorted with concentration as he gradually increased the strain on that slender thread of cotton.
    And how Trevor’s face was a mixture of anger and disappointment as the cotton parted with a twanging noise!
    Oh, how we all giggled! Even Mr Phillips had to suppress a smile.
    â€˜Right, now let’s try it another way.’
    He went over to the side bench where there was a fish tank full of water and brought it back to his desk. Then he tied a fresh piece of cotton to the brick and lifted it gently to the bottom of the fish tank. The end of cotton trailed up and