was proud. And to actually have her in my arms at that moment made me think maybe she and I would be okay after all.
âBriana and Ciara are holding us a seat on the last bus,â she said. I looked at her, puzzled. âNo, youâre not just sittinâ with my girls; D and Cole are back there, too.â
I squinted as I realized she didnât get what I was thinking. âYeah, Iâm sure they are back there, Tori. Iâm just wondering if you sure that this is a good idea.â
âWhat?â
âUs going to the back of the bus with them. Do you know what they plan on doing back there?â
âSkky, hurry up, guy,â my coach yelled out. âMake a decision so we can we go. Now!â
She leaned over, touched my shoulder and bent me down to her mouth. I didnât know what Tori was about to say. But the look in her eye was totally mischievous, like she was ready to be a bad girl for once.
She said, âIâm ready to be with you. I thought about it. Over the last couple of weeks, weâve been sort of distant with each other. I know why. And I love you enough to go further to please you. Letâs go.â
She took my hand and pulled me to the last bus.
I pulled her back toward me and said, âUmm, come on. We gotta get on the first bus âcause I gotta talk to you about a couple of things on the ride home.â
âThe first bus? All the administrators ridinâ on that one so nothing can happen on there. Uh-uh, Perry. Iâm sure. Seriously, come on.â
âNah, babe. Not this way. I canât.â I shocked myself with my statement.
Before I could second-guess my own decision, we were sittinâ right behind my coach on the first bus. So much stuff was going on in my head about why I didnât take Tori up on her first offer. I could have had my way with her on that last bus.
Maybe it was Damariusâs run-in with a sexually transmitted disease. Maybe it was the doctor telling me he was proud of me that I was choosing to stand for something and put my hormones in check. Maybe it was the fact that though I knew what Tori was saying I didnât really believe it.
She had been so strong to stand her ground for not wanting to go that way. Certainly, if she was ready, she would not want her first time being in front of a whole bunch of people. I had to protect her from herself. I had to protect us from giving something that we were not willing to get back. And deep down, I also wanted to please God. He had been blessing me this year with so much. Part of me didnât wanna be ungrateful by going against His wishes.
Tori looked out the window and said, âWhatâs wrong with you? I thought thatâs what you wanted.â
I grabbed her hand and gripped it really tight. âA month ago, that was all I thought about and all I ever wanted. But now, I need more than that. Youâre right. We did drift apart, and I wanna get that back on track before we go making it all physical. I donât want you to regret it, either. I want our first time to be right.â I kissed her on the cheek and she laid her head on my shoulder.
Halfway through the ride, she looked up at me with tears in her eyes. âThank you.â She smiled. âI donât really know if I was ready, but I donât wanna lose you. So, thanks.â
I rubbed the top of her head as she laid back on my chest. I never said one word to Coach, but his head was nodding as he turned around and looked at me, letting me know he knew why I sat behind him. As he had told me, I did have a responsibility as a leader. Not just on the team, but in my relationship.
One day I hoped to be married and be head of the house and lead. But I couldnât just suddenly lead one day in a married relationship. Iâd have to practice along the way. And though I didnât have it down, I was proud of how I was taking other people into consideration with how I lived my
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