sleep in them again, and even then I had dreams of tiny claws digging into my skin.
âLetâs get some of this mess cleared out,â Tack says. âWeâll fit as many people inside as we can. The rest will camp outside.â
âWeâre staying here?â Julian bursts out.
Tack stares at him hard. âWhy not?â
âBecause . . .â Julian looks helplessly at everyone else. No one will meet his gaze. âPeople were killed here. Itâs just . . . wrong .â
âWhatâs wrong is heading back into the Wilds when weâve got a roof, and a pantry stocked with food, and better traps here than the pieces of crap weâve been using,â Tack says sharply. âThe regulators have been here once. They wonât be back again. They did their job the first time around.â
Julian looks to me for help. But I know Tack too well, and I know the Wilds, too. I just shake my head at Julian. Donât argue.
Raven says, âWeâll get the smell out faster if we break open some more windows.â
âThereâs firewood stacked and split out back,â Alex says. âI can get a fire started.â
âAll right, then.â Tack doesnât look at Julian again. âItâs settled. We camp here for the night.â
We pile the debris out back. I try not to look too much at the shattered bowls, the splintered chairs, or think about the fact that six months ago I sat in them, warm and fed.
We scrub the floors with vinegar we find in the cupboards, and Raven gathers some dried grass from the yard outside and burns it in the corners, until the sweet, choking smell of rot is finally driven out.
Raven sends me out with a few small traps, and Julian volunteers to come with me. Heâs probably looking for an excuse to get away from the house. I can tell that even after weâve cleaned the rooms of almost all evidence of the struggle, heâs still uncomfortable.
We walk in silence for a bit, across the overgrown yard, into the thick tangle of trees. The sky is stained pink and purple, and the shadows are thick, stark brushstrokes on the ground. But the air is still warm, and several trees are crowned with tiny green leaves.
I like seeing the Wilds this way: skinny, naked, not yet clothed in spring. But reaching, too, grasping and growing, full of want and a thirst for sun that gets slaked a little bit more every day. Soon the Wilds will explode, drunk and vibrant.
Julian helps me place the traps, tamping them down in the soft dirt to conceal them. I like this feeling: of warm earth; of Julianâs fingertips.
When weâve positioned all three traps and marked their locations by tying a length of twine around the trees that encircle them, Julian says, âI donât think I can go back there. Not yet.â
âOkay.â I stand up, wiping my hands on my jeans. Iâm not ready to go back either. Itâs not just the house. Itâs Alex. Itâs the group, too, the fighting and factions, resentments and push-back. Itâs so different from what I found when I first came to the Wilds at the old homestead: There, everyone seemed like family.
Julian straightens up too. He runs a hand through his hair. Abruptly he says, âRemember when we first met?â
âWhen the Scavengersâ?â I start to say, and he cuts me off.
âNo, no.â He shakes his head. âBefore that. At the DFA meeting.â
I nod. Itâs still strange to imagine that the boy I saw that dayâthe poster child for the anti- deliria cause, the embodiment of correctnessâcould be even remotely connected to the boy who walks beside me, hair tangled across his forehead like twisted strands of caramel, face ruddy from cold.
This is what amazes me: that people are new every day. That they are never the same. You must always invent them, and they must invent themselves, too.
âYou left your glove. And you
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