center her. He was always like that in a crisis, she recalled. Always the cool one, the steady one. A solid rock in the midst of chaos. She leaned on that rock now by turning away from Dell and concentrating on Kyle. She began shouting her own orders. More light, betadine, plasma, sutures. The demands rolled off her tongue without thought.
Operating in the helicopter was not something she ever wanted to do again. Each time the big machine dropped dramatically as the wind got the best of the pilot, Farrah halted, afraid she’d nick something vital. Luckily, only a couple of stitches had come loose on the artery itself in a place that was easily repaired. She spent an hour replacing some of the inside stitching as well and most of the outside, before getting the bleeding under control. Twice she called over her shoulder to Joshua, wanting an update on Dell. Both times, he assured her the bleeding was slowing. By the time she wrapped the last bandage on Kyle’s leg, the helicopter was dropping to land with enough speed to add to the nausea in her stomach. She sat back on her heels and shoved her hair away from her face with the backs of her bloody hands. “He’ll do for now,” she said to Gage. “Let’s check Dell.”
She turned around with a sigh and froze. Not simply because the look on Joshua’s face was that of a man far beyond grief, but because of the tears tracking in a steady stream down his face. She’d never seen him cry before. Not once. One glance at Dell told her why. She lunged for the man Joshua held in his arms. He didn’t try to stop her or hold her back. He just sat there as she confirmed her fear, the grief coming off him so palpable, she was surprised she hadn’t noticed it before.
“Why didn’t you say something?” she shouted. She balled a fist, wanting to hit him, but pounded her thigh instead. “Gage could have worked on him. We might have saved him.” Tears choked her.
Joshua’s voice was like a dead weight. “No. He was hurt too bad.” He lifted a hand covered in dark blood that told her what it must have told him. “He was gone before you had Kyle’s leg reopened,” he confirmed. “You couldn’t have saved him, Farrah. It was my decision to keep you working on Kyle. Mine. I take full responsibility.”
Farrah scrubbed away tears with the back of her hand. “Why wasn’t there a doctor on board? You said there would be another doctor.”
His arms tightened around the dead soldier. “That’s a very good question. One I intend to take up with Command as soon as we get settled. This mission has been a clusterfuck from beginning to end, and I’m not apologizing for the language this time.”
For once, she didn’t expect him to. She felt like cussing herself.
The helicopter touched down. Men rushed up to the door with stretchers. She noticed Kyle’s eyes were open and scooted over to him. “Hey, you’re going to be okay.”
His hand fumbled for hers and she squeezed it tight. “Knew that,” he said slowly, his words slurring a bit. “Love you.”
“Love you, too,” she said, the words coming automatically. As soon as they were out she froze, but quickly forced herself to relax. Of course, she cared for him; he was one of her best friends. “I’ll check on you later.”
She leaned over to kiss his forehead before releasing him so he could be moved. Soon Kyle and Dell both were being carried to a concrete building. Farrah crawled stiffly out of the helicopter and looked around. Not surprisingly, they were in some kind of military facility.
“You said Kyle would do for now,” Joshua said, weariness and grief making his voice gruff. “Will he keep the leg?”
Farrah sighed. “I don’t know. He’s strong, but there’s a lot of damage. I…I just don’t know.” Tears flooded her eyes again. Joshua drew her close and she collapsed against him. She felt wrung out, the flood of adrenaline and emotion she’d been riding as dried up as a desert well. There
Operating in the helicopter was not something she ever wanted to do again. Each time the big machine dropped dramatically as the wind got the best of the pilot, Farrah halted, afraid she’d nick something vital. Luckily, only a couple of stitches had come loose on the artery itself in a place that was easily repaired. She spent an hour replacing some of the inside stitching as well and most of the outside, before getting the bleeding under control. Twice she called over her shoulder to Joshua, wanting an update on Dell. Both times, he assured her the bleeding was slowing. By the time she wrapped the last bandage on Kyle’s leg, the helicopter was dropping to land with enough speed to add to the nausea in her stomach. She sat back on her heels and shoved her hair away from her face with the backs of her bloody hands. “He’ll do for now,” she said to Gage. “Let’s check Dell.”
She turned around with a sigh and froze. Not simply because the look on Joshua’s face was that of a man far beyond grief, but because of the tears tracking in a steady stream down his face. She’d never seen him cry before. Not once. One glance at Dell told her why. She lunged for the man Joshua held in his arms. He didn’t try to stop her or hold her back. He just sat there as she confirmed her fear, the grief coming off him so palpable, she was surprised she hadn’t noticed it before.
“Why didn’t you say something?” she shouted. She balled a fist, wanting to hit him, but pounded her thigh instead. “Gage could have worked on him. We might have saved him.” Tears choked her.
Joshua’s voice was like a dead weight. “No. He was hurt too bad.” He lifted a hand covered in dark blood that told her what it must have told him. “He was gone before you had Kyle’s leg reopened,” he confirmed. “You couldn’t have saved him, Farrah. It was my decision to keep you working on Kyle. Mine. I take full responsibility.”
Farrah scrubbed away tears with the back of her hand. “Why wasn’t there a doctor on board? You said there would be another doctor.”
His arms tightened around the dead soldier. “That’s a very good question. One I intend to take up with Command as soon as we get settled. This mission has been a clusterfuck from beginning to end, and I’m not apologizing for the language this time.”
For once, she didn’t expect him to. She felt like cussing herself.
The helicopter touched down. Men rushed up to the door with stretchers. She noticed Kyle’s eyes were open and scooted over to him. “Hey, you’re going to be okay.”
His hand fumbled for hers and she squeezed it tight. “Knew that,” he said slowly, his words slurring a bit. “Love you.”
“Love you, too,” she said, the words coming automatically. As soon as they were out she froze, but quickly forced herself to relax. Of course, she cared for him; he was one of her best friends. “I’ll check on you later.”
She leaned over to kiss his forehead before releasing him so he could be moved. Soon Kyle and Dell both were being carried to a concrete building. Farrah crawled stiffly out of the helicopter and looked around. Not surprisingly, they were in some kind of military facility.
“You said Kyle would do for now,” Joshua said, weariness and grief making his voice gruff. “Will he keep the leg?”
Farrah sighed. “I don’t know. He’s strong, but there’s a lot of damage. I…I just don’t know.” Tears flooded her eyes again. Joshua drew her close and she collapsed against him. She felt wrung out, the flood of adrenaline and emotion she’d been riding as dried up as a desert well. There
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