at the moon and admired how it painted everything metallic; even the wet leaves hung like silver ornaments.
âYeah, sorry. Iâm not usually like that. I donât know what came over me.â
âYou donât need to apologize,â she said. âI think you two are awesome together. Youâre going to have super smart, super hot, superhero kids.â
I laughed and stretched my feet across the aisle until they were nearly touching Beckyâs sandals. My body felt loose, like someone had unglued all my tendons. âI think weâre a ways away from that.â
âHow is it ever going to work between you two? Considering who your father is?â
My mind snapped out of its daydream. âI try not to think about it.â
Her eyes were steady on mine. âMaybe you should. You guys are obviously in love. But it seems masochistic to me, falling for the one guy you can never have.â
âWeâll figure it out,â I said, suddenly annoyed. Itâs easy to think people have no business giving you advice when it isnât the advice you want to hear. But she had a point. I laid my head against the train seat. My entire body was warm, my cheeks were pink, my skin was hot. Being with Justin was like taking a drug; it was a high my body crashed into with a scintillating rush. When I immersed myself in it, I could feel my whole body glow on the inside until it pushed out. I just wanted to focus on that. I didnât want to think about the crash that always came later, because I was too addicted to the high.
I took Justinâs adviceâto stop thinking so much and to feel more. I wouldnât let myself think tonight. I wouldnât let myself doubt. I just wanted to soak in this perfect moment.
Â
The next morning I walked downstairs and stalled when I heard my fatherâs voice in the kitchen, echoing down the hall. At first I thought he was home, and my chest deflated, but I realized he was just face-chatting my mom.
âShe was with Becky,â I heard my mom say.
I inched my way down the hall.
âThis isnât what we agreed to,â my dad argued.
âWe never agreed on anything. I think Maddie
should
get out of the house. If you want to make rules, then you stay home to enforce them.â
âI canât be home right now, Jane.â
âWell, Iâm not playing cop in this house. If you want to tie Maddie down, then you come home and do it yourself. Iâm just happy to have her home, Kevin. For whatever reason she came back, for however long, Iâll take what I can get. But Iâm not forcing her to stay here. That
never
worked.â
âIâll be home in a few days,â my dad said. âWe can talk about it then.â
The call snapped off and the wall screen switched to a morning news program. My mom turned as I walked into the kitchen.
âHi,â she said. I wasnât sure whether I should thank her or apologize, but she took care of the silence by listing breakfast options.
I sat down and we watched the news coverage in Portland and Washington, D.C., discussing interviews with politicians preparing for the national vote. Reporters talked about the vote as if it had already happened. No one even mentioned the words
oppose, disagree, argue
. We were ghosts.
âI almost forgot to give you your books this year,â my mom said. Every year around my birthday, she handed down ten real, paper books to me. It had become our tradition. She got up and came back a minute later with a cloth bag. She took the books out one by one, carefully handling them as if they were rare artwork, and displayed them on the table.
I looked at each one, running my hands over the colorful, smooth covers, as beautiful as pictures you could frame. There were two books of poetry. A mystery series. A memoir.
âI love this one,â my mom said, and flipped over a book called
The Missing Piece.
âThe message changes every
Dave Zeltserman
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Willingham Michelle
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