Still Waters by Misha Crews

that.
    Jenna got up abruptly. Never in her life had she been able to stand lying sleepless in a bed, her idle muscles itching for activity, her mind going around in circles. She needed to go downstairs and sit on the porch for a while. She knew from experience that the fresh air would do her good, that soon she’d feel her muscles relax and her eyelids droop, and that when she returned to bed, sleep would come with the ease of an old friend.
    Being careful to move quietly to not disturb her son, Jenna took off the nightgown that Kitty had loaned her and slipped her own clothes back on. She went gently down the old staircase and along the hallway, holding her breath as she passed the open door of the living room, where Adam had been assigned his sleeping place. She opened the front door, and with a grateful sigh, she moved out of the house and into the cool spring air.
    Crossing the porch, she leaned up against one of the columns and stared out across the lawn. Across the railroad tracks, she could see scant lights twinkling in the valley below, where a few farmhouses had left their porch lights on. Bill had predicted that some day the whole valley would be full of houses and shops, but Jenna had a hard time believing it. Where would they get people to live in all those houses?
    A board in the porch creaked as if under the weight of a heavy foot, and Jenna turned quickly to see who was sneaking up on her.
    “Adam!” Jenna didn’t know whether to be relieved or angry. “What are you doing, creeping around in the middle of the night? You scared me to death.”
    His face was cast in shadow, so that all Jenna could see was his square jaw and strong shoulders. “I could say the same thing to you about creeping around. I’ve been sitting out here since everyone went to bed. You didn’t see me when you came out.”
    He leaned against the opposite side of the pillar, in an unconscious imitation of her posture. She could no longer see him at all, but she could feel his presence, large and magnetic. “Sorry I gave you a fright,” he said.
    “It’s all right.”
    When Adam spoke next, his voice was forceful but not angry, and barely above a whisper. “We need to clear the air between us. As I see it, there’s no cause for us to be pussyfooting around the truth. Things have happened that we didn’t plan, but that’s the way of life. We exchanged some harsh words at the party, and although I don’t feel the need to pick apart everything that was said, there’s one thing I do owe you an answer for.”
    She crossed her arms over her chest, for security as much as for warmth. “Go on.”
    He spoke in a rush, as if he had to say this very quickly or not at all. “Someone recently told me that I’m brave, and I guess that maybe I’ve done some bold things in my life. But when it comes to you, I’ve always been a coward. You’re right, I could have requested a transfer after Bud died. I don’t know if it would have been granted, but I could have at least tried. For that matter, I could have told you how I felt about you years ago — before you even married Bud. I could have done a million things differently, and maybe the two of us would be married by now. Maybe then I could claim my son as my own.”
    He slid his hand up the pillar, until his fingers came into contact with the bare flesh over her elbow. She kept her eyes on the valley, but every nerve in her body was focused on his softly questing fingers.
    Adam went on, unaware of what his simple gesture had done. “It was always my intention to come back here and marry you. But there were other things I had to do — or thought I had to do. There was Korea, first of all, and then there was the earthquake in Greece. After that, I tried to get transferred to the States, but the best I could do was go back to Panama. That was the closest I could get to you, without actually coming home. I’ll have to live with the results of my choices, but I wanted you to know those