Two Parties, One Tux, and a Very Short Film about The Grapes of Wrath by Steven Goldman

film in, but he hasn’t gotten back to me about it.”
    â€œAre you in trouble?”
    â€œI don’t know yet. Someone complained that it was offensive.” I shrug like it’s all no big deal.
    â€œHow come you didn’t tell me?”
    I don’t know. I was going to tell him right after it happened, but we weren’t ever alone in the hallway and then he went to practice. And then on Friday I was going tobring it up at lunch, but we spent the whole period talking about something else. And then it was the weekend and we went to a movie but we didn’t really talk, and now it is Monday, and it felt weird to bring it up since it happened four days ago.
    â€œI guess because nothing’s happened yet,” I lie.
    â€œCould you e-mail or something if you get expelled? Just to keep me in the loop.”
    â€œI’ll send you an invite to the hanging. I know how you feel about missing big social events.”
    â€œGay” as a metaphor for everything that’s fucked up between us
    There is a moment a few hours later when we almost communicate. We are standing next to each other in the hallway outside the film lab. The trolls are inside, the previous class is long gone, and David asks what’s wrong with me lately.
    â€œI don’t know how to act around you anymore,” I answer.
    â€œSince when?”
    â€œSince you told me.”
    â€œOh,” David says.
    â€œI mean, I don’t think you want me to act any different. Differently.”
    â€œDoes it make you nervous that I’m …”
    â€œGay?” I need to say it.
    â€œDoes it?”
    â€œMaybe.”
    â€œAre you afraid someone will find out and think you are too?”
    â€œNo.”
    â€œAre you afraid I’m going to try to kiss you, or feel you up or something?”
    â€œNo—of course not.”
    David takes two steps forward and looks me square in the face. I can’t read him at all. He doesn’t look angry. Is he hoping that I’ll lean over and kiss him? Is that what he wants?
    I turn my head and stare at a spot several feet to my left.
    â€œI’m just afraid I’ll say the wrong thing.” My voice comes out quiet, almost believable. I don’t look up for David’s reaction.
    We stand there. Months, maybe years go by and we don’t say a word. Then we go into class.

CHAPTER 15
You Know, Guy Stuff
    Thud
    We go watch David play baseball. Actually, we go watch David watch baseball, since he hasn’t seen a minute of action all season. Making varsity doesn’t mean that you play varsity.
    We constitute a small crowd all by ourselves. Carrie and M.C. are here. So is Amanda. And my mother. Mom is here because Mom is a baseball fan. Mention baseball and she becomes another person. She cares deeply about who is on top in the American League. She always has an opinion on trades and salaries and which records require asterisks. She and David can sit happily in the kitchen arguing about who should have gotten the Cy Young and whether the Mets will suck again this year. Her own children, who have never showed any interest in the all-American pastime, are a disappointment to her.
    So Mom is at the game, perched in the stands wearingher Red Sox hat with a small ponytail sticking out the back. She gives a little wave to David, who smiles but does not wave back. His parents won’t be here. He has told them not to come and they will be more than happy to oblige. He does not look up at me.
    Although there were four of us in the minivan, I am the only one sitting with Mom. I wonder if I should be more self-conscious about sitting in the stands with my mother, but I don’t really have much choice. Carrie would probably prefer a tonsillectomy to sitting near Mom at a baseball game. Between Mom’s baseball cap and her regular, often vulgar taunting of the umpire, I can understand Carrie’s embarrassment. But my mother would be offended if I