Chapter One
The air outside the arena seems colder than when I went in a few hours ago. I’m trying hard not to cry. Fighters don’t cry. Not even when they have to disappear from the life they love.
My phone beeps. It’s my best friend, Zero. The message says STOP NOW. GET BACK IN HERE.
Zero is still inside the arena, watching the fight between Colt and Mulligan. It’s Colt’s big night, his huge public comeback. But he’s losing. Losing because of me.
Before we got back together, Colt was on a winning streak.
And I just wrecked it.
I can’t believe that he broke his focus. He looked over at me and got distracted. He let Mulligan get the upper hand by allowing me to take his mind off the fight.
Everyone was right. His trainer. His father. Even stupid old Brittany, his fake ex-fiancée and so-called friend. I am a problem. I am a distraction. Colt is going to lose because of me.
And not just the fight. His comeback. His run for the championship title.
I am the reason his whole career is in jeopardy.
I tap off a quick “No way. Come out here.”
I’m not going to change my mind. I’m leaving town tonight, or at least holing up somewhere so that I can’t be found until I figure out where to go. I will not ruin Colt’s career.
His whole team kept trying to tell me he couldn’t be in a relationship and still win. They purposely split us up, even. They proved themselves right when Colt found his rhythm again.
They didn’t count on us finding each other despite their efforts.
We didn’t believe them.
And I was just too thickheaded to get it.
Too in love.
I pace the sidewalk in front of the arena. Zero has promised he will come with me and help me pack, help me make my getaway.
I know Colt will come for me once the fight is over, so I have to leave fast and go far. My brain whirs with all I have to do. Gather clothes. Grab anything important. Find a hotel to stay until I decide where to go.
It might not even be safe to leave a note at work for my boss, Buster. Colt could station people around, looking for me.
The cold makes my eyes prick, and I know stupid tears are forming. I won’t let them come. This is the right thing to do. Colt’s career is on the line. If we’re meant to be together, it can wait until after his title run. Once he’s got that win behind him, maybe I can find him again.
Maybe he’ll have waited for me.
The night sky is clear and bright above me. I walk past a streetlamp and gaze up. I could never have made a wish as good as Colt has been. My first lover, first love. I waited so long for him. He showed me how strong I am. I’m strong enough to let him go for his own good.
I wonder who’s right about heaven, and if my dad can see me. I close my eyes and try to imagine what he’d tell me to do right now. “Be a brave girl, Jo,” he would always say when he left for his shifts on the offshore oil rig. Even that last time, before the explosion that killed him and so many of his coworkers.
I imagine that’s what he’d say now. Be a brave girl.
“I will,” I whisper.
My breath puffs out in the cold. Zero is taking forever. I shove my hands in the pockets of my jacket. The backstage pass to get to Colt’s dressing room is inside. I pull it out. Colt’s name is big and bold across the top. I run my fingers over the type. I’ll find another gym, get another job as a trainer. I’m used to starting at the bottom. At least I have real skills now. Colt gave me that.
Loving him has been a gift.
I won’t be able to do a fighting match myself, not in public. Anybody could tip off my old crew as to who I am. That’s all right. It’s not about me. My escape is about Colt and his career. What’s good for him. He was winning before we got back together. He’ll win again.
One of the doors to the arena pops open, and Zero dashes out. “You have to get in there!” He looks crazed, his flushed face making his caramel skin look dark.
“No way!” I say. “You
The air outside the arena seems colder than when I went in a few hours ago. I’m trying hard not to cry. Fighters don’t cry. Not even when they have to disappear from the life they love.
My phone beeps. It’s my best friend, Zero. The message says STOP NOW. GET BACK IN HERE.
Zero is still inside the arena, watching the fight between Colt and Mulligan. It’s Colt’s big night, his huge public comeback. But he’s losing. Losing because of me.
Before we got back together, Colt was on a winning streak.
And I just wrecked it.
I can’t believe that he broke his focus. He looked over at me and got distracted. He let Mulligan get the upper hand by allowing me to take his mind off the fight.
Everyone was right. His trainer. His father. Even stupid old Brittany, his fake ex-fiancée and so-called friend. I am a problem. I am a distraction. Colt is going to lose because of me.
And not just the fight. His comeback. His run for the championship title.
I am the reason his whole career is in jeopardy.
I tap off a quick “No way. Come out here.”
I’m not going to change my mind. I’m leaving town tonight, or at least holing up somewhere so that I can’t be found until I figure out where to go. I will not ruin Colt’s career.
His whole team kept trying to tell me he couldn’t be in a relationship and still win. They purposely split us up, even. They proved themselves right when Colt found his rhythm again.
They didn’t count on us finding each other despite their efforts.
We didn’t believe them.
And I was just too thickheaded to get it.
Too in love.
I pace the sidewalk in front of the arena. Zero has promised he will come with me and help me pack, help me make my getaway.
I know Colt will come for me once the fight is over, so I have to leave fast and go far. My brain whirs with all I have to do. Gather clothes. Grab anything important. Find a hotel to stay until I decide where to go.
It might not even be safe to leave a note at work for my boss, Buster. Colt could station people around, looking for me.
The cold makes my eyes prick, and I know stupid tears are forming. I won’t let them come. This is the right thing to do. Colt’s career is on the line. If we’re meant to be together, it can wait until after his title run. Once he’s got that win behind him, maybe I can find him again.
Maybe he’ll have waited for me.
The night sky is clear and bright above me. I walk past a streetlamp and gaze up. I could never have made a wish as good as Colt has been. My first lover, first love. I waited so long for him. He showed me how strong I am. I’m strong enough to let him go for his own good.
I wonder who’s right about heaven, and if my dad can see me. I close my eyes and try to imagine what he’d tell me to do right now. “Be a brave girl, Jo,” he would always say when he left for his shifts on the offshore oil rig. Even that last time, before the explosion that killed him and so many of his coworkers.
I imagine that’s what he’d say now. Be a brave girl.
“I will,” I whisper.
My breath puffs out in the cold. Zero is taking forever. I shove my hands in the pockets of my jacket. The backstage pass to get to Colt’s dressing room is inside. I pull it out. Colt’s name is big and bold across the top. I run my fingers over the type. I’ll find another gym, get another job as a trainer. I’m used to starting at the bottom. At least I have real skills now. Colt gave me that.
Loving him has been a gift.
I won’t be able to do a fighting match myself, not in public. Anybody could tip off my old crew as to who I am. That’s all right. It’s not about me. My escape is about Colt and his career. What’s good for him. He was winning before we got back together. He’ll win again.
One of the doors to the arena pops open, and Zero dashes out. “You have to get in there!” He looks crazed, his flushed face making his caramel skin look dark.
“No way!” I say. “You
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