nervous that he had decided that was too much baggage for him. I sat up and turned around and looked at him. I started shaking and burst into tears when I saw there were fresh tears of his own on his face. I went ot hug him, to be close to him, anything to get him to stop. His eyes were so dark, so full of tears and it tore at the core of my heart.
"Connor please stop, I can't bear it. What's wrong?" My voice was almost desperate for some response from him.
"That night. You were scared of me. You were genuinely scared. You thought I was going to hurt you like that bastard." His voice was almost inaudible. I hung my head, with hurt and despair and in shame.
I heard him take a deep breath and he wiped his face. His hands came on either side of my face and lifted it. The soft pads of his thumbs brushed the tears away from my cheeks.
"I will never lay a finger on you unless you want me to. I will never pressure you or force you to do anything. I will never expect you to agree with me, hell that is part of what I love about you. You're you, you're independent. You don't need me and it keeps me on my toes to know that. Madison, you are the most lovable person I have ever known and I am so sorry that he's the reason you don't understand that. I promise that everyday I will make it my mission to show you that you're incredible. This going to sound crazy and it's absolutely horrendous timing but I am completely in love with you Madison. And I want to love you until you tell me to stop."
"Don't, please don't." I closed my eyes. Trying to keep the tears in. "I can't be the reason your eyes are sad. I don't want to be the object of your pity."
"Madison, this isn't about pity. This is about you. I love who you are, not because you're broken. I don't want to fix you, I want to love you. That's it." His eyes were wide. There was no evidence of his tears now. He looked so earnest and hopeful.
"Connor...I-." I hesitated for a moment.
"Madison, I don't need you to say it. The fact that you haven't left yet tells me what I need to know right now."
I gave him a small smile and put my finger on his lips. "Stop talking for a minute and just listen. Despite what I thought in the past, I realize that wasn't love. Love wasn't someone to pay you attention. It's someone who wants to make it their goal to make you feel special every day. When I realized I was sad after a day and a half without you I realized that I had never felt this way before. As hard as I think it is to admit this, I think I love you too Connor."
There was never going to be a moment where I was going to get used to his thousand watt smile. He leapt off the bed and picked me up. Twirling me around I giggled and grabbed around his neck tighter.
He put me down and just stared down at me. I smiled and started to feel bashful under his gaze.
"So what does this mean now?" I hadn't ever imagined being in this situation and I felt like something needed to be done, but I didn't know what.
"This means that I get to spoil you with gifts and love and romance. And you really can't do a damn thing about it, which is the best part." He smiled again and leaned down to kiss me softly.
We walked down to the sitting room, turning on lights here and there. It was almost 8:00 P.M. So much had happened that it didn't seem possible that it was still Saturday.
"I don't want to ruin you're good mood but I need to get this out there. If I ever see that asshole again, I will beat the shit out of him and I can't promise I'll stop until he's dead. And I hope that when my ass is sitting in jail, you'll at least come visit." His serious tone made me laugh.
"I never saw you angry, but it is quite cute."
"I mean it Madison. I will destroy him. I'm glad you see my bloodlust as cute though."
We had a very small dinner and sat and had a glass of wine we both deserved. After talking on the couch, I snuggled up to Connor. It felt so good to be warmed by his body. I leaned up to give
"Connor please stop, I can't bear it. What's wrong?" My voice was almost desperate for some response from him.
"That night. You were scared of me. You were genuinely scared. You thought I was going to hurt you like that bastard." His voice was almost inaudible. I hung my head, with hurt and despair and in shame.
I heard him take a deep breath and he wiped his face. His hands came on either side of my face and lifted it. The soft pads of his thumbs brushed the tears away from my cheeks.
"I will never lay a finger on you unless you want me to. I will never pressure you or force you to do anything. I will never expect you to agree with me, hell that is part of what I love about you. You're you, you're independent. You don't need me and it keeps me on my toes to know that. Madison, you are the most lovable person I have ever known and I am so sorry that he's the reason you don't understand that. I promise that everyday I will make it my mission to show you that you're incredible. This going to sound crazy and it's absolutely horrendous timing but I am completely in love with you Madison. And I want to love you until you tell me to stop."
"Don't, please don't." I closed my eyes. Trying to keep the tears in. "I can't be the reason your eyes are sad. I don't want to be the object of your pity."
"Madison, this isn't about pity. This is about you. I love who you are, not because you're broken. I don't want to fix you, I want to love you. That's it." His eyes were wide. There was no evidence of his tears now. He looked so earnest and hopeful.
"Connor...I-." I hesitated for a moment.
"Madison, I don't need you to say it. The fact that you haven't left yet tells me what I need to know right now."
I gave him a small smile and put my finger on his lips. "Stop talking for a minute and just listen. Despite what I thought in the past, I realize that wasn't love. Love wasn't someone to pay you attention. It's someone who wants to make it their goal to make you feel special every day. When I realized I was sad after a day and a half without you I realized that I had never felt this way before. As hard as I think it is to admit this, I think I love you too Connor."
There was never going to be a moment where I was going to get used to his thousand watt smile. He leapt off the bed and picked me up. Twirling me around I giggled and grabbed around his neck tighter.
He put me down and just stared down at me. I smiled and started to feel bashful under his gaze.
"So what does this mean now?" I hadn't ever imagined being in this situation and I felt like something needed to be done, but I didn't know what.
"This means that I get to spoil you with gifts and love and romance. And you really can't do a damn thing about it, which is the best part." He smiled again and leaned down to kiss me softly.
We walked down to the sitting room, turning on lights here and there. It was almost 8:00 P.M. So much had happened that it didn't seem possible that it was still Saturday.
"I don't want to ruin you're good mood but I need to get this out there. If I ever see that asshole again, I will beat the shit out of him and I can't promise I'll stop until he's dead. And I hope that when my ass is sitting in jail, you'll at least come visit." His serious tone made me laugh.
"I never saw you angry, but it is quite cute."
"I mean it Madison. I will destroy him. I'm glad you see my bloodlust as cute though."
We had a very small dinner and sat and had a glass of wine we both deserved. After talking on the couch, I snuggled up to Connor. It felt so good to be warmed by his body. I leaned up to give
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