Chapter 1
S kylar Camille . A name prompted by a question about a pair of initials tattooed on the back of the man I’d been dating – if that was even the right word to describe our relationship. I was trying very hard to process what Gavin had just told me without completely freaking out. How did I not know the man I was involved with had a daughter? It wasn’t like we’d spent all of our time having sex. We’d talked too. It just seemed that he hadn’t thought a child was something he should’ve mentioned.
Another thought crept in and an icy hand closed around my heart. “Gavin, are you married?” I hoped the question sounded as flat as I’d intended it to be. I wanted an honest answer. If I sounded angry, I didn’t know if he’d lie to try to placate me.
“No.” The word was firm.
He pushed himself up into a sitting position and I did the same. The sexual tension between us was gone. It didn’t matter what we’d been doing just minutes ago or the fact that we were both still naked.
“I told you before that I grew up in Connecticut, about thirty miles from Manhattan.”
I remembered that coming up during the lunch we’d shared, so I nodded.
“Well, growing up in Stamford, there was a girl who lived next door. She was just a few months younger than me, so we were in the same grade in school and even ended up being in the same class all through elementary. We played together some, but it wasn’t until junior high that we really became friends.” Gavin stared down at his hands as he told the story. “She was the first girl I had a crush on.”
The wistful smile that crossed his face made my stomach churn. Whoever this girl was, she still had a hold on him all these years later, and I didn’t know what that meant for him and me.
“When we started high school, she made the cheerleading squad and was really popular. It took me two more years before I got up enough courage to ask her out. We went to junior prom together and, when we kissed for the first time, I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her.”
I swallowed hard, trying to keep from throwing up. I didn’t know where this story was going, but I knew there was no way it had a happy ending. Not for Gavin, and probably not for me either.
“After we graduated, she went away to college, while I stayed in Stamford. It was tough making it work long-distance, but we did. The day she graduated, I proposed.” He paused for a moment, and when he continued, his voice was thick with emotion. “We got an apartment a few streets away from where we'd grown up and started looking towards our future together. We were going to get married two years later, but then she got pregnant and we decided that we didn't want to wait that long. What we did want, though, was our child to be a part of the wedding.” He ran his hand through his hair, his gaze far away. “It wasn't normal, we knew, but we both felt like it was important. We wanted to make our lifelong commitment to each other in front of the evidence of our love. It just made sense for us.”
I shivered. All of the heat that I'd gathered had leached away and the fan in my room was blowing cold air across my skin. I reached behind me and pulled the edge of the bedspread around my shoulders. He didn't even notice.
“A week before her due date, we were walking to the corner store when a car struck her from behind.”
The hand around my heart tightened.
“There was nothing they could do to save her, but an emergency C-section saved our daughter.” He reached over his shoulder and I knew his fingers were touching the numbers on his back. “June thirteenth. The day the love of my life died, and our daughter’s birthday. I named her Skylar because that was the name her mother wanted, and Camille because that was her mother’s name.”
“Oh, Gavin.” All of my selfish thoughts about what this meant for me vanished. All I
S kylar Camille . A name prompted by a question about a pair of initials tattooed on the back of the man I’d been dating – if that was even the right word to describe our relationship. I was trying very hard to process what Gavin had just told me without completely freaking out. How did I not know the man I was involved with had a daughter? It wasn’t like we’d spent all of our time having sex. We’d talked too. It just seemed that he hadn’t thought a child was something he should’ve mentioned.
Another thought crept in and an icy hand closed around my heart. “Gavin, are you married?” I hoped the question sounded as flat as I’d intended it to be. I wanted an honest answer. If I sounded angry, I didn’t know if he’d lie to try to placate me.
“No.” The word was firm.
He pushed himself up into a sitting position and I did the same. The sexual tension between us was gone. It didn’t matter what we’d been doing just minutes ago or the fact that we were both still naked.
“I told you before that I grew up in Connecticut, about thirty miles from Manhattan.”
I remembered that coming up during the lunch we’d shared, so I nodded.
“Well, growing up in Stamford, there was a girl who lived next door. She was just a few months younger than me, so we were in the same grade in school and even ended up being in the same class all through elementary. We played together some, but it wasn’t until junior high that we really became friends.” Gavin stared down at his hands as he told the story. “She was the first girl I had a crush on.”
The wistful smile that crossed his face made my stomach churn. Whoever this girl was, she still had a hold on him all these years later, and I didn’t know what that meant for him and me.
“When we started high school, she made the cheerleading squad and was really popular. It took me two more years before I got up enough courage to ask her out. We went to junior prom together and, when we kissed for the first time, I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her.”
I swallowed hard, trying to keep from throwing up. I didn’t know where this story was going, but I knew there was no way it had a happy ending. Not for Gavin, and probably not for me either.
“After we graduated, she went away to college, while I stayed in Stamford. It was tough making it work long-distance, but we did. The day she graduated, I proposed.” He paused for a moment, and when he continued, his voice was thick with emotion. “We got an apartment a few streets away from where we'd grown up and started looking towards our future together. We were going to get married two years later, but then she got pregnant and we decided that we didn't want to wait that long. What we did want, though, was our child to be a part of the wedding.” He ran his hand through his hair, his gaze far away. “It wasn't normal, we knew, but we both felt like it was important. We wanted to make our lifelong commitment to each other in front of the evidence of our love. It just made sense for us.”
I shivered. All of the heat that I'd gathered had leached away and the fan in my room was blowing cold air across my skin. I reached behind me and pulled the edge of the bedspread around my shoulders. He didn't even notice.
“A week before her due date, we were walking to the corner store when a car struck her from behind.”
The hand around my heart tightened.
“There was nothing they could do to save her, but an emergency C-section saved our daughter.” He reached over his shoulder and I knew his fingers were touching the numbers on his back. “June thirteenth. The day the love of my life died, and our daughter’s birthday. I named her Skylar because that was the name her mother wanted, and Camille because that was her mother’s name.”
“Oh, Gavin.” All of my selfish thoughts about what this meant for me vanished. All I
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