around in his limbs slowly dissipating until his body was ready for sleep. The previously clear shape of the television blurred in front of him as he continued to stare at it.
His mind refused to cooperate with his body's demand for rest, though.
He needed to get those men to talk.
Perhaps they knew something that would help him.
Jamie's eyelids grew heavy until he gave in and let them fall shut again. He was surrounded by darkness, but only for a moment, before the blackest of black made way for the gray late summer's day that always came to him at this time of night. That day at the beach, back when he was only twelve years old. The day his brother had gone missing.
The pain of the loss stabbed him right through the heart, as it had done back then, when he first realized what had happened. But that wasn't the worst of it. The worst thing was that his baby brother was only a small part of what plagued his mind.
The girl.
He couldn't get the girl out of his head.
It made no sense at all. Why was he so fixated on her? He didn't remember when exactly the memories had started to change, because it had been so gradual at first. As the years had passed, so had his recollection of that day. Every night when these glimpses of so long ago infiltrated his mind against his will, the girl had aged right along with Jamie.
They'd been probably the same age back then. Tonight what Jamie saw wasn't an awkward twelve year old, but a full-figured redhead in her thirties, like him. And so lifelike, too. Her green eyes sparkled in what little light could escape the hazy clouds overhead. Her smile could stop traffic, it was so radiant. Her ample curves invited further scrutiny, but Jamie resisted the temptation, as usual.
Sometimes he did allow himself to focus on her beauty, just for a bit. But the guilt always got him in the end. It wasn't worth it. How could he fantasize about some girl he might have very well just imagined there on the beach, when his actual, real little brother had vanished without a trace?
How could a creature so beautiful have existed in the exact same moment as a loss so terrible?
His inner bear kept insisting that if only he found her, everything would become whole again. Secretly that was why he'd joined the Alliance in Edinburgh rather than anywhere else, because that's where she'd said she lived. If he found her, perhaps he'd find
him
too. But if he found
her,
did it matter?
Jamie frowned, furious at himself for even questioning the importance of figuring out what had happened to his brother. Angry for all the pain the disappearance had caused to his parents, who had never been the same since. Guilty over his own selfishness and carelessness. It had all been his fault, after all.
Breathe in deeply, hold, slowly release.
Who was she, though?
Breathe in, and release.
Why was she so important?
Breathe and release.
*** Want to read the rest? Buy on Amazon ***
His mind refused to cooperate with his body's demand for rest, though.
He needed to get those men to talk.
Perhaps they knew something that would help him.
Jamie's eyelids grew heavy until he gave in and let them fall shut again. He was surrounded by darkness, but only for a moment, before the blackest of black made way for the gray late summer's day that always came to him at this time of night. That day at the beach, back when he was only twelve years old. The day his brother had gone missing.
The pain of the loss stabbed him right through the heart, as it had done back then, when he first realized what had happened. But that wasn't the worst of it. The worst thing was that his baby brother was only a small part of what plagued his mind.
The girl.
He couldn't get the girl out of his head.
It made no sense at all. Why was he so fixated on her? He didn't remember when exactly the memories had started to change, because it had been so gradual at first. As the years had passed, so had his recollection of that day. Every night when these glimpses of so long ago infiltrated his mind against his will, the girl had aged right along with Jamie.
They'd been probably the same age back then. Tonight what Jamie saw wasn't an awkward twelve year old, but a full-figured redhead in her thirties, like him. And so lifelike, too. Her green eyes sparkled in what little light could escape the hazy clouds overhead. Her smile could stop traffic, it was so radiant. Her ample curves invited further scrutiny, but Jamie resisted the temptation, as usual.
Sometimes he did allow himself to focus on her beauty, just for a bit. But the guilt always got him in the end. It wasn't worth it. How could he fantasize about some girl he might have very well just imagined there on the beach, when his actual, real little brother had vanished without a trace?
How could a creature so beautiful have existed in the exact same moment as a loss so terrible?
His inner bear kept insisting that if only he found her, everything would become whole again. Secretly that was why he'd joined the Alliance in Edinburgh rather than anywhere else, because that's where she'd said she lived. If he found her, perhaps he'd find
him
too. But if he found
her,
did it matter?
Jamie frowned, furious at himself for even questioning the importance of figuring out what had happened to his brother. Angry for all the pain the disappearance had caused to his parents, who had never been the same since. Guilty over his own selfishness and carelessness. It had all been his fault, after all.
Breathe in deeply, hold, slowly release.
Who was she, though?
Breathe in, and release.
Why was she so important?
Breathe and release.
*** Want to read the rest? Buy on Amazon ***
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