Road?”
“What about it?”
“Who owns it?”
She tapped away on her computer and then turned to look at me. “Abarrane Extepare.”
“Hell.”
She raised an eyebrow. “Wrong answer?”
“Just sends me in a circle.”
“Welcome to my world.”
I took another sip of my water. “You’re a lot of help.”
“You continue talking to me that way, and I’m keeping my cheese sandwich for myself and throwing you to the wolves.”
“Wolf, singular.”
“Cheese sandwich.” She tipped her water bottle to mine in a toast. “Singular.”
----
—
“Abarrane Extepare.”
Ruby stared at me over her glasses. “Do you have a phone number?”
“It’s on the Post-it, the one I gave you.” I was luxuriating in the fact that for once, I’d given her a Post-it.
She glanced back at my door, covered entirely with small squares of yellow paper, giving the impression that a sacrificial paper chicken had been massacred there. “I’ve had a few for you.”
“Would-be wolf hunters?”
“Yes.”
I reached down and petted the snoozing Dog at her feet. “Would you be so kind as to get me Ferris Kaplan on the line?”
“After I get Abarrane Extepare?” She stared at me. “You could do it yourself.”
I stood and studied her, pretty sure that was the first time she’d ever said that to me. “You’re too busy?”
She glanced at the papers surrounding her. “I’m always too busy, Walter. Anyway, there’s a gift for you in your office.”
I glanced at the door with a feeling of dread. “What kind of gift?”
“Why don’t you go and see?”
With one last look, I moved toward my office, still keeping a little distance just in case somebody had gotten the wolf and left him in there. Leaning a little to one side, I could see a large box sitting on my desk. “What the heck is it?”
“A computer.”
I turned to look at her. “I don’t want a computer.”
“You signed the requisition yourself. It’s been ten years, and we all got new computers, including you.”
“I never had one.” Glancing into my office, I ceded ground and went back to her counter. “I sign everything you put in front of me, but that doesn’t mean I want a computer.”
“Well, you’ve got one—the county IT guy is coming by later to hook it up.”
“What does IT mean?”
“Information technology.”
“You’re my information technology.”
“Not anymore.” She sat her pen down and looked at me. “You know how I print out all your emails and leave them on your desk so you can answer them in longhand, just so I can come back in here and type out your responses?”
I dropped my eyes, a little ashamed. “I don’t get that many emails.”
“You didn’t used to.” She turned in her chair. “But there are enough now that I don’t have the time to do it anymore.”
“How about we just stop doing emails?”
“We can’t do that in a modern department, Walter.”
I glanced at the terminal in front of her. “I don’t know how those things work.”
“We’ll teach you.”
“I don’t want to know.”
“Walt, I don’t have time for this.”
“Where’s Vic?”
“In her office. She’s hooking up her new computer.”
Walking away without further comment, I went down the hall where my undersheriff sat reading an instruction manual; Saizarbitoria’s legs stuck out from under her desk at an odd angle. She looked at me. “Back from the courthouse?”
“This is a conspiracy. You are all working against me.” I glanced down at the legs. “What is he doing under there?”
Santiago’s voice sounded from below the desk. “Hooking up the modem.”
“What’s a modem do?”
“Nobody knows what a modem does—they’re just magic and then the computer works.” She stopped reading and stared up at me.
I started to turn to go. “I don’t want a computer.”
“You can send emails back and forth with your daughter, and she can send you photos of your granddaughter.”
I stopped.
“What about it?”
“Who owns it?”
She tapped away on her computer and then turned to look at me. “Abarrane Extepare.”
“Hell.”
She raised an eyebrow. “Wrong answer?”
“Just sends me in a circle.”
“Welcome to my world.”
I took another sip of my water. “You’re a lot of help.”
“You continue talking to me that way, and I’m keeping my cheese sandwich for myself and throwing you to the wolves.”
“Wolf, singular.”
“Cheese sandwich.” She tipped her water bottle to mine in a toast. “Singular.”
----
—
“Abarrane Extepare.”
Ruby stared at me over her glasses. “Do you have a phone number?”
“It’s on the Post-it, the one I gave you.” I was luxuriating in the fact that for once, I’d given her a Post-it.
She glanced back at my door, covered entirely with small squares of yellow paper, giving the impression that a sacrificial paper chicken had been massacred there. “I’ve had a few for you.”
“Would-be wolf hunters?”
“Yes.”
I reached down and petted the snoozing Dog at her feet. “Would you be so kind as to get me Ferris Kaplan on the line?”
“After I get Abarrane Extepare?” She stared at me. “You could do it yourself.”
I stood and studied her, pretty sure that was the first time she’d ever said that to me. “You’re too busy?”
She glanced at the papers surrounding her. “I’m always too busy, Walter. Anyway, there’s a gift for you in your office.”
I glanced at the door with a feeling of dread. “What kind of gift?”
“Why don’t you go and see?”
With one last look, I moved toward my office, still keeping a little distance just in case somebody had gotten the wolf and left him in there. Leaning a little to one side, I could see a large box sitting on my desk. “What the heck is it?”
“A computer.”
I turned to look at her. “I don’t want a computer.”
“You signed the requisition yourself. It’s been ten years, and we all got new computers, including you.”
“I never had one.” Glancing into my office, I ceded ground and went back to her counter. “I sign everything you put in front of me, but that doesn’t mean I want a computer.”
“Well, you’ve got one—the county IT guy is coming by later to hook it up.”
“What does IT mean?”
“Information technology.”
“You’re my information technology.”
“Not anymore.” She sat her pen down and looked at me. “You know how I print out all your emails and leave them on your desk so you can answer them in longhand, just so I can come back in here and type out your responses?”
I dropped my eyes, a little ashamed. “I don’t get that many emails.”
“You didn’t used to.” She turned in her chair. “But there are enough now that I don’t have the time to do it anymore.”
“How about we just stop doing emails?”
“We can’t do that in a modern department, Walter.”
I glanced at the terminal in front of her. “I don’t know how those things work.”
“We’ll teach you.”
“I don’t want to know.”
“Walt, I don’t have time for this.”
“Where’s Vic?”
“In her office. She’s hooking up her new computer.”
Walking away without further comment, I went down the hall where my undersheriff sat reading an instruction manual; Saizarbitoria’s legs stuck out from under her desk at an odd angle. She looked at me. “Back from the courthouse?”
“This is a conspiracy. You are all working against me.” I glanced down at the legs. “What is he doing under there?”
Santiago’s voice sounded from below the desk. “Hooking up the modem.”
“What’s a modem do?”
“Nobody knows what a modem does—they’re just magic and then the computer works.” She stopped reading and stared up at me.
I started to turn to go. “I don’t want a computer.”
“You can send emails back and forth with your daughter, and she can send you photos of your granddaughter.”
I stopped.
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